..:S...P...I...D...E...R...B...I...T...E...S:..

Monday, January 30, 2006

"She said there's gonna be a time when i'm gonna have to go with whoever's gonna get me the highest."
- The Hold Steady


took a urine test for my new job and found it too be a very nerve-wracking experience. not because there were any drugs in my system but because i drink a shitload of water every day and it turns out that too much water in the sample can be considered "diluted" and sent back as they assume that you must be hiding something. this didn't happen to me but i was paranoid that it would when i started reading the fine print. see, i found a place near me that does the testing but they closed earlier than the first one i was going to go to so i call and the girl says "come on down but make sure you can urinate because we hate when people come in at the last minute and can't do it!" so i slam three mugs of water and run out the door. i get there with 10 seconds to spare and piss in her cup (bragging "you got five more cups, i'll fill those too!") and she holds it up to the light and says "hmmm, they might send this back because it's so clear." i'm like, "you just told me to drink a bunch of water genius." and she says "well, maybe they won't. never mind." so i go home thinking goddammit, why the hell do they tell you to drink a bunch of water and they tell me it'll fuck up the test...etc. etc. so i start reading shit on the internet (mistake) about these people failing drug tests just for watching the movie "Half-Baked" or singing along to a Cypress Hill song and how people usually shave their heads so they can't do a hair test on them. i start thinking hey, i just shaved my head yesterday AND i drink water! i am the most suspicious man in the history of the planet!!! i will never be hired again with my head and my twelve gallons of clear piss that pours forth like a pure Arctic stream!!! anyway. i passed it.

ran into the girl that i took to this reading. hard to believe that people actually passed out during that story but i swear it happened.

my friend Steve sent me come cds and i'm going to feature them on tonight's radio show. at least two of them, The Hold Steady and Cerluean or whatever the hell it's called. what's up with the guy from The Hold Steady though. he says "hoodrat" about twenty times. he's like Cypress Hill's obsession with the mythical "Captain O'Malley." and i had an idea for the radio show. one that involves a promotional hyperlink essay-slash-newsletter combined with a short story. i should have it done very soon. i'm trying to limit the links to one page worth.

i don't know what's more hilarious, people falling for the latest carefully-timed Bin Laden threat (what a shock, Repulicans looking like shit? BAM! new threat! let's pull together! never mind that Bin Laden is wearing parachute pants, we swear this tape is recent!) OR the fact that every sorry bastard that gets a missile up his ass in Iraq was second in command. how many seconds-in-command is that now? like nine? is that Arabic math? it's like Yogi Berra when he said half the game is ninty percent mental. even the numbers on the game Stratego make more sense that this chain-of-command. people are so fucking gullable they deserve to have this moron as their President.

as a tribute to the death of Nice Guy Eddie from "Reservoir Dogs" i am currently watching all three Sean Penn directed movies. "Indian Runner," "The Crossing Guard" and "The Pledge." i think they're all excellent, even though none of them have Chris Penn screaming, "stop pointing that gun at my dad!"

::: david - 11:34 PM [+] :::
...

"I was a highway man...with a sword and pistol by my side..." (???)
- Highwayman

"I light fires! It's what I do!"
- Kurt Russell


I don't know about you, but those lyrics sound like some mad trucker roaming the turnpike hauling a semi full of skulls. what the fuck? i bought this cd because i was going through a Johnny Cash phase (no it wasn't inspired by that movie, it was inspired by another movie, the "Dawn of the Dead" remake, where they use "The Man Comes Around" in the opening credits to great effect) and i saw there was this album call Highwayman by Johnny Cash, Kris Kristofferson (aka the Drunk Santa Claus from the "Blade" movies) Willy Nelson and some other asshole. the song titles were all these epic story titles like "Plane Wreck at Los Gatos" and "The Last Cowboy Song" and it had this album cover with all these guys heads on Mount Rushmore (kind of like that Fox news billboard that i vandalized. i mean, that i would have vandalized if it wasn't illegal. by bragging about vandalizing it here after actually putting Hitler moustaches on Sean Hannity and his fellow cocksuckers it insures that i didn't actually do it. that's what's know in court as the "double bluff" defense!) so i thought maybe it would be a big epic swaggering album? right? wrong. it's all twangy 'n country-fied 'n shit. and the title song seems to suggest time travel (?) and, worst of all, it has Johnny Cash saying this line:

"I fly a starship across the universe divide..."

i thought he was off drugs by then? and, of course, saying he flies his starship "across" the universe suggests that there's an end to the universe. if that's the case, what's on the other side duuuuuuuuuude! sorry to report that the Highwaymen just ain't no Bucketmen.

time out. "Donnie Brasco" is on TV right now and here's two HUGE reasons why this movie sucks ass:

1.) there is a scene where Johnny Depp is undercover helping the goombas dispose of a dead body and there's this quick shot of him sawing through a leg. but if you look close, he sawing through a cowboy boot that's still on the guys foot. this is stupid for a couple reasons. first, it's a pussy way to get around showing violence in the movie and to keep that character likable since he's cutting clothes and not flesh. and second, it makes no sense whatsoever because they're pressed for time and no one would ever cut through a boot when you could just take it off.

2.) i remember back when this movie came out, the FBI guy the movie was based on, Joe Pistone or something, was all over the news acting like he's Serpico because they made a movie about his weak, action-free book. and he said Johnny Depp was hanging around with him for awhile and then, when the movie was released Joe's dumb wife and equally dumb mother both said, "Johnny Depp really studied Joe's behavior because when i watched the movie it's like i was seeing Joe!" okay, here's the thing. Johnny Depp acts like a ridiculous stereotypical post-Goodfellas Italian in this crapfest. actually he's even worse. everything's exaggerated like an 80's gangster movie (except there's NO ACTION) so this leads me to a couple conclusions. Joe Pistone himself probably acts like a stereotypical dumbass because he desperately wants to be like the caracatures he sees on TV OR Johnny Depp just decided to go with this silly performance because the real-life and fictional character of Joe Pistone has nothing interesting to offer and his mother and wife somehow think that a movie made about Joe means he's this important historical figure with distinct accomplishments and mannerism who actually CAN be copied. and how about the scene where Johnny Depp slaps his wife? was she as proud of that? did she laugh and say, "that so like Joe!" Joe Pistone aka Donnie Brasco didn't do SHIT. the tagline should have been, "what if a man went undercover and nothing happened?" and his life story is weakest undercover story in the fucking history of crime.

okay, sorry. distracted by the TV. no wait, here's a third reason the movie Donnie Brasco sucks:

3.) that stupid speech they made about the word "Fugazi." because i happen to like the band Fugazi and now i'm reminded of this piece of shit when i go to listen to a Fugazi record.

oh yeah, i got a new job. see, i'll only complain about a shitty job for a year before i finally get off my ass and get another one. stay tuned for my huge list of "Things I Won't Miss At My Old Job!" the new job starts in a week. i finally get to use skills i've developed from typing unpublished fiction and screenplays all these years. i'll be doing subtitles and captioning for mostly the Discovery Channel's shows. Other shows too (i was warned that they do "Gilmore Girls" and that's the hardest because all the chicks talk at the same time and it's hard to keep up) i don't have all the details yet but it sounds like Discovery Channel is a big part of the workday. Hopefully "Animal Planet" because they did "The Puppy Bowl" to compete with the upcoming Super Bowl and it was much more interesting.

hey, remember that big sad pile of Christmas trees i posted about last time? you know what happened to those trees? i wake up from a "Highwayman" induced nap and i see this sinister sight out my window. these firemen actually had tables with coffee and donuts set up, the wives were trading recipies, the kids we running around playing grab-ass. they must do this every year. it's like the man said in "Backdraft"...

"we fight fires! it's what we do! when we ain't making 'em."
- Guy Montag

i have to tell you about the piss test for my job. but first i must eat some Rice Krispies in (gasp) chocolate milk. it's a poor man's Cocoa Krispies. i'll be back. maybe a double post today on account of the new job enthusiasm. chocolate milk, hmmm. see, i can't help but think about everything i ingest affecting the color of my urine now.

::: david - 11:18 AM [+] :::
...

"As the maples scream `oppression!' and the oaks just shake their heads..."
- "The Trees" (aka "Love Theme from 'The Two Towers'") - Rush


a couple observations:

-as the Pittsburgh Steelers continue to win, more and more of the dumbasses in this town are wearing the jerseys. i'm not talking about a few here and there, i'm talking about those fake cowboy silhouettes wearing them (which kind of ruins the whole spooky silhouette thing). when i think about these people wearing these jersey's on game day's i can't help but picture them all dressing up like astronauts for every shuttle launch, or dressing up like a fireman every time "Backdraft" is on. like i do.

-for some reason, i feel like i just got to this town yesterday. more on this later.

-anyone seen the commercial for the movie "Glory Road?" this is such a fucking joke. they act like it's some brave daring move to stock a basketball team with a bunch of black dudes. what a gamble! wow, that's really putting it all on the line. this coach was like, "if it means that i'm going to have to win every game, i don't care. i'm going to break this color barrier!" who the fuck do they think their kidding pretending this coach had anything like civil rights on his mind? fuck off with that noble revisionist history crap.

-i was watching "Saving Private Ryan" tonight and as the ratty little coward soldier crouched whimpering in the stairway while his buddy got slowly stabbed upstairs i was reminded of an interview that Spielburger gave to explain such an annoying character. apparently so many people were telling him how much they hated that character that he said, "well, i think people misunderstood that character's role. he was supposed to represent me actually, and how i, or any regular person, might react in a situation like that." hmmm. maybe i'd buy that as an excuse if Spielberg blatant heavy-handed manipulation was even more obvious on my surround-sound speaker system. see, i rewound three times just to make sure and i can report with confidence that Steven inserted creepy buzzing FLY noises 3 times when that character is on the screen. and no, he's not hanging around a corpse or the attic in Amityville Horror. he's just walking along, smiling all goofy and BZZZZZZZZ! random fly noise in the speaker. so clearly he's just some obvious coward one-dimensional poorly-written caricature who's only purpose is to make the unwashed masses sit forward and yell at the screen. unless i just hear imaginary flies everywhere. no, those are bees.

-to my surprise, "Mystic River" is NOT the sequel to the equally dramatic and suspense-filled "Mystic Pizza."

-if you run out of peanut butter, and you've already gotten out the jelly and the bread, you can just pour one of those vending machine bags of peanuts onto a big gob of jelly, slap the bread together and BOO-YAA! you have salvaged your midnight treat.

-the one constant around this joint.

-below is my script, "Spunkwater" i just revised. it was unreadable until recently, but as i am now newly single, this script pretty much represents that two year relationship. the good, the bad and the ugly.

-oh yeah, here's a little extra X-mas cheer for ya!

i stopped to take this picture today on my way to work. this pile of trees would like to thank all of you for allowing them to be a part of your pagan, sorry i mean christian celebration!

with all the duct-tape and rope and red ribbons and plastic bags it was kinda eerie, like a serial killer's dumpsite.

i leaned in real close and, besides the smell of pine needles and and scorched lightbulbs and gingerbread and children's laughter (yes, i can fucking smell children's laughter) i distinctly heard the trees whisper...

"thanks for letting us participate in your ceremony and for our relocation to the railroad tracks! we'll be fine right here in this mud puddle!"

::: david - 12:20 AM [+] :::
...

SPUNKWATER


a screenplay


© 2006 David James Keaton





FADE IN:

SUPER:
“When the dogs begin to smell her, will she smell alone?”
- Stone Temple Pilots - “Plush”

“I’m the dog that ate your birthday cake...”
- Sparklehorse - “It’s a Wonderful Life”

FADE IN:

EXT. BEACH - DAY
A hot hazy day in Florida near the beach. Cars and clothing suggest the early 80s. The German version of Peter Gabriel’s song "Intruder" is playing from an unknown source. There is a young man sitting on a bench near the ocean. He’s wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses that obscure his face. Just over his shoulder is a large sign with a grinning cartoon dog’s picture on it. The dog’s eyes seem to be watching everyone. Everyone is leading a dog.

INSERT - THE SIGN

"ALL DOGS (AND THEIR OWNERS) WELCOME!"

BACK TO SCENE

Everything about the young man suggests that he’s blind. He’s wearing dark sunglasses and sits rigid. He holds a pot of dirt on an awkward angle. It has a tiny green seedling growing in the center. And he doesn’t turn his head when the action of rollerbladers or dogs chasing balls fly past him.

SERIES OF SHOTS - DOGS

--A large white dog runs by the man with a dead fish in it’s mouth. The fish flaps faster as the dog picks up speed. The young man continues to stare straight ahead.

--A small black dog runs by chasing a bright red ball. The young man doesn’t move.

--A large white and black-spotted dog trots by him wearing a tiny hat with a propeller on it. Several people turn to laugh at the sight. The young man doesn’t crack a smile.

--A bright red ball rolls by the young blind man’s feet. The small dog slips and scratches at the sand as it frantically lunges for it. For a second the blind man seems to be teasing the dog by maneuvering the ball around his feet and away from its grasp. Then the blind man kicks the ball away. With the ball finally locked in its mouth, the dog runs back to its master, a boy with headphones around his neck. The sound of the 80s music is suddenly muffled when the young man pulls the headphones up over his ears. At the same time, an attractive dark-skinned Hispanic woman walks by the young man on the bench. The boy and his dog take no notice, but the young blind man sits up straight and turns his head toward her.
The Peter Gabriel song climaxes.

SONG
"Eindringling kommt...
eindringling kommt und legt seine spur...
legt seine spur."

BLIND MAN
Can you please tell me what time it is?

The girl ignores him and keeps on walking.

FADE TO BLACK

SUPER: "TWENTY YEARS LATER"

INT. CAR - NIGHT
A young couple is having sex while driving. The girl is on top, leaning back with her hands gripping the steering wheel behind her. The young man is navigating the roads very well in spite of this. Until he starts messing with the stereo. They are listening to the song "Pounding" by The Doves and the song is fading out. The boy reaches out to start the song over, stretching around her body with some effort. That’s when he takes his eyes off the road.

INSERT - STEREO DISPLAY
The number of the song playing reads "3" then changes to "4" then back to "3." Suddenly there are the sounds of tires squealing and the girl screaming, and two sticky, sweat-covered hands grab the dashboard to cover the digital stereo display completely.

BACK TO SCENE

Inside the car, the wreck is brutal. The car rolls and the girl is thrown off the driver. The car keeps rolling and suddenly she is behind the steering wheel and the young man smashes headfirst through the windshield. His jeans are bunched around his ankles and trailing behind him, fluttering like an outboard motor. The car stops rolling and the girl is bloody and dazed, now trapped in the driver’s seat. She looks around for the driver but the young man never hits the ground.

FADE OUT

EXT. WOODED AREA - NIGHT
A smoking car wreck, illuminated by red tail-lights can be seen between the trees. There is the sound of static from crushed speakers. The stereo display shows time has passed.

INSERT - STEREO DISPLAY
The number of the song changes from "17" back to "1."

BACK TO SCENE

A long shadow covers the car as a strange shape materializes on the horizon. It’s a man walking a dog along the side of the road. The dog, a large blue Doberman, pulls on his leash and they move faster as they both spot the wreck. The man’s face is hidden under a baseball cap. The man ties his dog to a tree and the dog immediately starts to scratch and bark at the tree as if he wants to climb it. The man turns from the car crash and looks up to see what has caught his dog’s attention. The dog is standing with a bundle of blue jeans in his mouth and a confused look on it’s face.

INSERT - A CORPSE IN THE TREE
There is a bloody naked boy twisted in the lower limbs. The body is bent into impossible shapes, the back arched and the arms and legs pointing up towards the sky.

BACK TO SCENE

The man reaches up to check for signs of life but the boy’s arms and legs aren’t low enough to reach. There is only one part of the boy’s body hanging low enough. The man looks up and down the road, then after a moment, reaches up to squeeze the young man’s genitals. After a few seconds, he releases the boy, scratches his panting dog’s head, then moves towards the girl in the car. She is slumped over the steering wheel unconscious but still breathing. The man looks up and down the road again, then strains to loosen her from the wreckage. He frees her, then carries her out of the car and out of the woods to the road. He walks toward the road with her in his arms until he suddenly disappears by stepping down a slope of high grass and cattails into a roadside ditch. He gently lays her down. He is moving slower now, and his sense of urgency has changed into something else.

INSERT - THE DOG
The blue Doberman starts barking again and is madly scratching to get at the dead boy hanging from the tree. There is a hiss of anger from the ditch as the man tries to quiet his animal.

MAN
Shhhhhhhhh...

The dog’s ears go up like radar. It stops barking and looks towards the road where the man is now standing in the ditch. Then the man bends over and seems to disappear into the ground. The dog cocks its head and keeps watching.

FADE TO BLACK

The sound of a man’s voice is heard over the sounds of several shrieking ambulance sirens.

V.O.
(whispering)
Three more minutes and it never happened.

EXT. CRASH - LATER THAT NIGHT
Several firemen are having problems untangling the dead boy from the tree. A paramedic is loading the girl into one of the three ambulances at the scene of the accident. Her legs have been immobilized with splints and bandages. A second paramedic is standing in the ditch and looking back to the wrecked car in the woods. He seems confused.

INSERT - STEREO DISPLAY
The number of the song playing reads "3" again but only the faint hiss of static can be heard inside the car.

BACK TO SCENE

The first paramedic climbs up into the ambulance with the female victim but instead of closing the doors behind them, the second paramedic climbs into the ambulance too. He relieves the other man with a clap on the shoulder and watches as he climbs up into the front seat. The second paramedic is left alone with the injured girl. He leans down to study her face, staring at her twitching eyelids if he’s looking for answers to explain his unease after seeing the bizarre wreck.

EXT. WOODS
A policeman and a fireman are standing at the tree. The fireman is scanning the trunk with a flashlight beam.

POLICEMAN
What the hell? A bear chase him up there?

FIREMAN
(shrugging)
Never try to fuck ‘em while
they’re hibernating.

POLICEMAN
(looking up, scratching his head)
Hell of a crash. Apparently only
Tommy Lee can drive with his dick.

FIREMAN
(irritated)
Goddammit, everyone keeps saying that.
He wasn’t really driving the boat, all he
did was honk the horn. That shit’s easy-

He stops talking as his flashlight beam freezes. Both men lean in to see the scratches the dog made on the bark. The red and blue lights of more cops cars arriving reflect off their faces as they turn to stare off into the woods.

INT. AMBULANCE - SAME NIGHT
The second paramedic is still hovering over the face of the female victim, checking symptoms and talking to himself as he treats her injuries.

SECOND PARAMEDIC
Systolic blood pressure eighty-nine,
Injecting point one milligrams Vecuronium.
Applying cricoid pressure, preparing to
intubate...

He stops with the rubber squeeze bladder and mouthpiece in his hand. He stares down at her frowning. The girl is naked, except for her blue-jeans covering her uninjured leg. As this paramedic starts to work on her again, he seems to be getting increasingly upset. He checks her splints, then, after a moment, picks up one of her hands and checks the fingernails. The driver turns around.

DRIVER
What are you doing, Rick? Make sure she
stays immobilized. You listening? And
hey, wasn’t it your turn to drive tonight?

RICK ignores the driver and pulls back a torn piece of her shirt and looks close. He lays his fingers across a large five-pointed bruise that marks the side of the girl’s stomach.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - THE BRUISES
There is a black and blue hand print rising on her skin. Rick’s hand fits inside the pattern perfectly.

BACK TO SCENE

Rick’s eyes are wide in horror as he realizes that something else must have happened to the girl after the accident. He mumbles something incoherently to himself as he continues to study her body. The driver has turned up their radio and doesn’t notice Rick’s actions. After looking nervously around the back of the ambulance, Rick seems to be regaining control. He makes a decision. He begins to clean her fingernails. He uses his own fingernails to clean the blood and skin from under hers. He begins to pull her remaining leg out of her jeans. The driver turns his baseball cap around and Rick freezes a moment. The cap has a local hockey team’s logo with a bulldog’s face on it, and its eyes seem to be staring accusingly at Rick. Rick continues to clean her body, slowly now. He checks his watch and then picks up his pace. The ambulance jerks to a stop and Rick almost falls over. He looks to see they’re stuck behind some cars and now Rick seems relieved. The driver sighs and quickly starts weaving through the tangle of traffic like he was trained to do.

RICK
Hey, slow down, Jack.

JACK
What? Wait, did you actually say, "slow down?"
Rick crawls up behind the driver’s seat.

RICK
Yes I did. You’re gonna roll this
thing, asshole. Haven’t you ever
played "Grand Theft Auto?"

Rick seems frustrated and is looking around for something. The song "Heartbreaker" by The Rolling Stones is on a radio duct-taped to the dash. Faking excitement, he reaches for it.

RICK
Hey, they’re playing my song,
let me turn this shit up...

Rick reaches for the radio but quickly switches off the sirens instead, acting like it was an accident.

RICK
Sorry, my fault.

JACK frowns and shoves his arm away, then reaches down to turn the sirens back on. He has to slam on the breaks to avoid a collision. Rick returns to the girl, satisfied that he’s bought himself some extra time. He continues to pull off her jeans. Suddenly he stops and starts pulling them up instead.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - THE GIRL
The girl’s naked body seen from Rick’s point of view. She is bruised and bloody but still a very attractive dark-skinned girl. Rick is carefully putting her right foot into her pant-leg, struggling with the splint.

BACK TO SCENE

Rick seems ashamed of himself, but also convinced he’s doing the right thing. He whispers something in her ear.

RICK
Don’t worry. Three more minutes
and it never happened.

Sunrise is cracking the clouds and the song "Deep Hit of Morning Sun" by Primal Scream is on the radio. The ambulance’s siren suddenly starts to stutter and make a strange warbling sound. Jack punches the dashboard and jiggles the switch and the siren’s howl barks once then changes back to normal.

EXT. HOSPITAL - MINUTES LATER
Rick and Jack are unloading the girl. Jack notices the hand-print shaped bruises on the girl’s bare stomach. Rick notices him noticing. Rick waits until Jack looks up into his eyes to speak.

RICK
That happened when we were pulling her
out outta the car. Goddamn cop was too
busy cracking jokes and only trying to help
when he shouldn’t have. Almost dropped her
twice making sure he didn’t hurt her worse.
(pause while Jack stares)
Hey, c’mon, I had no choice. I had to
squeeze hard as hell just to keep him from
dropping her headfirst into that ditch.

Jack stares a moment longer, surprised by the strange tone in Rick’s voice and the long explanation for no good reason. He frowns and turns his attention back to the girl.

RICK
I just don’t want no lawsuit, brother.
Don’t say nothing, all right?

Jack shrugs and they roll her toward the building. As the automatic doors slide open, the girl leans up on her elbows and Rick is so startled he almost runs the gurney into a wall. She looks at him, then at Jack. Rick stares back, blinking so slow he’s almost walking with his eyes closed. It’s obvious that he’s upset because he’s not sure how long she’s been awake, what she’s heard, or what she saw him do.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NEXT DAY
The girl is sitting up reading in her hospital bed. Rick enters the room to check on her. Awkward half-smiles are exchanged. The girl seems to recognize him but isn’t speaking. Rick is nervously looking around the room and eventually opens his mouth to try to explain his visit. Before he can speak another young man walks into the room. This young man walks past Rick, leans down to kiss the girl, then looks up at Rick. Rick starts backing out of the room. The young man looks more irritated than concerned. Rick frowns, stares back for a few seconds, then turns and leaves.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - SAME NIGHT
Rick is sitting at a desk in his apartment, staring at a dead TV screen. He’s deep in thought, picking at the papers and fast food in front of him. He frowns at the sounds of several people partying outside his door. The door opens and a naked girl can be seen in the reflection of the dark TV screen.

RICK
(mostly to himself)
So, the scarecrow in the tree was someone she
was cheating with? Does that mean the boyfriend
in the hospital knows all about it? He must,
with that constipated look on his face, right?

NAKED GIRL
(ignoring his question and
loudly chewing an ice cube)
Truth or dare?

RICK
(suddenly annoyed by her)
Tell those guys to keep it down,
I have a shift in four hours and-

NAKED GIRL
(interrupting him
and chewing louder)
Truth or dare?

RICK
I’m not playing.

NAKED GIRL
(momentarily confused)
Wait, I’m doing it wrong. You ask me,
“truth or dare.”

RICK
Just tell everyone to please-

NAKED GIRL
(stamps her bare foot)
Ask me truth or dare!

RICK
Truth or dare.

NAKED GIRL
(smiles, expecting something sexual)
Dare.

RICK
Piss in your hand then lick it.

NAKED GIRL
(smile drops)
What the hell is wrong with you?

The girl walks into the room and Rick watches her approach in
the reflection of his TV screen. He ducks his head to avoid
her when she tries to kiss him. A dog is barking in the hall.

NAKED GIRL
(crunching the last of her
ice cube and swallowing it)
What the hell? You said you had four hours.

The girl turns to leave and Rick reaches up to turn on the TV.
The screen heats up and her image slowly disappears.

RICK
Hey, next time you kiss me, do me a favor?

NAKED GIRL
What?

RICK
Suck on that ice cube longer.

NAKED GIRL
Why?

RICK
So your tongue will be cold.
(pause)
And I can pretend you’re dead.

The naked girl is stunned. She starts to say something then
smiles and exaggerates the motion of biting her tongue
instead. Rick gets up and walks past her and out of his room.
He walks past the half-dressed people in the living room, past
the sounds of a barking dog, and walks straight across the
hall. He opens the door of another apartment and enters. It
is identical to the apartment he lives in. Except that it has
stark white walls and is completely devoid of furniture,
people and noise. He walks around a corner to where his
bedroom would be in the other apartment and then sits down in
the middle of the floor.

INT. DARK ROOM - NIGHT

Half hidden in the shadows of a dark room, an unseen man’s
hand is scratching the head of a large dog. The song
“Raindogs” by Tom Waits is playing somewhere. It sounds
scratchy, as if it’s on an old turn table.

SONG
“Her long hair black as a raven
Oh, how we danced and you whispered to me,
You’ll never be going back home...”

The hand stops scratching the dog’s ears and it sighs.

FADE TO BLACK

SUPER: “THREE YEARS LATER”

INT. CHILD’S BEDROOM - MORNING

The girl from the car crash, JACKI, is trying in vain to wake
up her daughter TONI.

JACKI
Toni, please, honey, mommy has to go.
Please baby, I had to be there an hour ago.
(she shakes the girl harder)
Pleeeeeease, this is important.
I know you hear me.

Jacki stares at the sleeping child for another moment then
turns to the small TV resting on the floor by the foot of her
bed. She turns it on and changes channels until she finds a
loud talk show where the crowd is screaming at someone on a
stage. The profanity being “bleeped” from the broadcast
causes the little girl to open her eyes.

JACKI
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Is it this show or those “bleeping” noises
that works like an alarm clock on you.

TONI
(yawning)
What’s up mommy?

JACKI
You’re up. Come on, get dressed, gotta go.

TONI
Awww, I want to watch the show. Fill
in the “bleeps” like you used to.

JACKI
Not right now. Later. Let’s go.

TONI
Momma?

JACKI
(sighing)
What?

TONI
(pointing to the TV)
Why did she just call him “uncle dad?”

INT. HOSPITAL HALLS - SAME DAY

Rick walks into the emergency room, looking for his partner,
Jack. He walks up to two other paramedics that are leaning
against a vending machine, drinking and talking. They are
older men, both named MIKE, one little, one big. They are
ignoring the chaos surrounding them. Rick hears the tail end
of their conversation as he approaches.

LITTLE MIKE
So I say to this guy, if you’re not
supposed to stick your thumb up an ass,
then why does it fit perfect?

BIG MIKE
Good point.

RICK
(walks past disgusted)
Yeah, good point.

The two Mike’s behind him, Rick walks through more double
doors, squinting at the noise and chaos. He stops in front of
his partner, Jack, who is eating a sloppy-joe while trying to
in vain to catch the pieces of burger falling from his face.

RICK
What’s up, dude. You ready to head out?

JACK
(talking around another bite)
Just let me finish this, because I know
I won’t be hungry later.

Rick leans against the wall to wait. Just then, an older and
disheveled-looking orderly, DEREK, walks up in blood and
dirt-stained scrubs. He points to Jack’s food-stained face.

DEREK
(grinning)
You finally decided to eat a shit
sandwich, huh? Got tired of wondering
what they taste like?

JACK
(chewing)
That’s exactly what I’m doing. Eating
a genuine shit sandwich. You are correct.
And it’s everything I dreamed it would be.

DEREK
(laughing)
Thought so! Hey, hold on. That ain’t
from my lunch is-

JACK
(sarcastic)
You know what? I don’t care what anyone
says, you can never get enough jokes
about eating shit. I mean, it’s always
funny, and, just for a minute, you’ll
really wonder if you made a mistake and
made yourself a shit sandwich instead
of a sloppy-joe. That’s why it’s such
a good joke.

Derek stops laughing, realizing that he’s being mocked. He
pops a handful of sunflower seeds in his mouth, spits a couple
shells at their feet and walks off. Rick turns to leave too.

RICK
(over his shoulder to Jack)
I’ll be back. I’ll find you again.

He makes a couple quick turns and finds a relatively quiet
area to lean against a wall. He rubs his temples to soothe a
headache. There is a poster on this wall of a huge smiling
face of a cartoon dog that seems to be watching everyone.

INSERT - CLOSE UP OF THE POSTER

A comic balloon over the dog’s head reads:

“BE CAREFUL KIDS! I MAY LOOK FRIENDLY,
BUT NOT ALL DOGS ARE FRIENDLY LIKE ME!”

CUT TO:

INT. HOSPITAL EXAMINATION ROOM - SAME DAY

Jacki and her daughter Toni are sitting on an examination
table. Jacki is holding Toni’s hand while a doctor approaches
with a sucker in his hand. Toni opens her mouth and reaches
out. But at the last second, the doctor turns the sucker over
and pushes the stick into her mouth. He rubs the stick
against the inside of the little girl’s cheek while she
struggles against her mother. He removes the stick and she
starts crying.

DOCTOR
I’m sorry sweetie.

The doctor puts the sucker away in a jar, then pulls
another object from the pocket of his lab coat. He holds it
behind his back.

DOCTOR
That was my fault. I got confused.
Try this one instead, baby.
It’s strawberry...

Jacki continues holding Toni’s hand while the doctor
approaches the child with a needle behind his back. The
doctor holds out his other hand clenched in a fist, as if he
is hiding something that the child would want to see. Toni
looks at the hand and smiles and reaches out to see if he’s
holding more candy for her. The doctor suddenly jerks his
fist away and Toni screams as she realizes that she’s been
stuck with the needle.

DOCTOR
(sadly)
Sorry honey.
(whispering to Jacki)
She will never trust a man again.

This joke seems to make Jacki frown and think of something
that disturbs her. Toni is crying loudly now.

JACKI
Was all that creepy shit really necessary?

DOCTOR
(defensive)
It depends. Most kids are scared of needles.

JACKI
(angry)
Well she is now. And now she’ll be
afraid of getting stabbed with suckers
too, asshole.

She comforts her daughter.

INT. HOSPITAL HALL - SAME DAY

Rick is still standing under the “Beware Of Dog” sign and
rubbing his eyes. He watches Jacki come out of a nearby room
and quickly walk towards him. Through his watering eyes, he
suddenly remembers her from the crash three years ago. She
doesn’t notice him. She seems angry and is impatiently towing
her little girl behind her by the hand. Rick is so shocked to
see her again that he bangs a knee on a cart marked
“biohazard” that is being wheeled past by Derek, the orderly.
The cart tips and Derek grunts and catches a falling bag of
blood in his hands. He squeezes too hard and the bag bursts
between his fingers. Rick jumps back to avoid getting
splashed.

DEREK
(trying not to touch anything)
What the FUCK?

RICK
(rubbing his knee)
Sorry. Sorry.

TONI
(hiding behind her mom’s leg)
Ewwwwww!

DEREK
I should rub this shit in your fucking
face-

RICK
C’mon dude, it would have been funny
if it was a cart full of fruit or
basketballs.

DEREK
(staring at his red hands)
I should-

Rick turns away from Derek, still rubbing his knee, and
quickly holds out an arm to stop Jacki from walking past.

RICK
(nervously)
Wait. Hey, do I know you?

Jacki stares into his eyes for a second, not liking what she’s
seeing. Derek bangs the cart into the wall as he turns it
around and rolls through some doors. Then she looks down to
stare at his arm that’s blocking her path until he slowly
lowers it. She instinctively moves a protective hand in front
of her child.

JACKI
(starting to move past him)
I remember you. You fixed my car, right?

RICK
(half smile)
No, it was years ago. I saw you at-
I mean, I, uh, I brought you in after-

Jacki interrupts him as Toni starts to cry from the sight of
the blood. She leans down to talk to her, still hiding
between her legs.

JACKI
Years ago, huh? You hear that, baby?
That was before you got hatched.

The little girl peers out and Rick reaches down to shake her
hand. Toni shakes her head and pushes her face into the back
of Jacki’s knee. Rick notices a bandage on Toni’s arm when
she peeks out again. Toni sees him looking at it and suddenly
spits on the floor angrily.

RICK
Is she okay?

Jacki hesitates, looking embarrassed and impatient.

JACKI
She’s fine. She had to get a shot.

RICK
Where? In the mouth.

The little girl spits again and Rick jumps back.

JACKI
No, in the arm. I’m sorry, it’s not you
she’s spitting at. She ate a bad sucker.

RICK
Can I ask you if-

JACKI
We have to go, I’m sorry.

She walks off and her child stares until they disappear around
a corner. He stares off into space deep in thought until a
nurse comes bursting out of the same door that Jacki and her
daughter did. Rick stops her as she walks past and leans in
close to whisper a question in her ear. She thinks for a
moment then answers him loudly.

NURSE
Paternity suit?

Rick’s eyes widen and he runs after them. He crashes through
several doors until he’s standing in the garage. He looks
frantically around as he catches his breath. He spots Jacki
and her child looking for their car and he runs to catch up.

RICK
Hey, I know I don’t know you but can we
go get a beer...
(glances down at the child who’s
back between her legs)
...or an ice-cream cone. Or something?

TONI
(sticking out her tongue)
A beer ice-cream cone? Gross!

RICK
(stammering and laughing)
No. I mean, yeah. If you want.

Toni laughs and smiles for the first time after the shot.
Seconds tick by as Jacki seems to be considering his offer.
She looks down at her daughter and sees that she isn’t hiding
behind her legs anymore. This seems to make up her mind.

JACKI
(shrugging)
Let’s go.

The little girl smiles up at Rick and, after a moment, she
shrugs too.

INT. BAR AND GRILL - SAME DAY

Rick and Jacki are sitting at a table with drinks between them
while Toni drops some quarters into a deer-hunting videogame
behind them. Captain Beefheart’s song “Electricity” is
playing on the jukebox.

RICK
Is the name “Jacki” short for something?

JACKI
(reluctantly)
Yeah. It’s kind of weird. “Jacki”
is actually short for “Jacinto,” after
the Battle of San Jacinto.

RICK
(playing with a matchbook)
Huh? Then how do you say it?

JACKI
The town is pronounced “Ha Sin Tow.”

RICK
So why isn’t your named pronounced “Hacky?”

JACKI
‘Cause that’s not how you say it. You have
to sound like you’re clearing your throat.

RICK
(coughing at the same time)
Hack-ee.

JACKI
(laughing)
Something like that.

RICK
Why are you named after a battle?
You’d think a boy would be named
after something like that, not a girl.

JACKI
It’s actually even stranger than you
think. We’re sort of named after the
cannons that were used in that battle.

RICK
Who’s “we?”

JACKI
(smile slipping)
Me and my sister.

RICK
(pulls a pen from his pocket
and opens the matchbook to write)
And why are you and your sister named after
weapons and wars? Did your dad want boys
or something?

JACKI
(stops smiling a little more)
No. He named me and my sister, Anna,
after the battle and General Santa Anna.
And there were these two cannons that won
the battle for America. You heard this
before? Well, they called the cannons
“the two sisters” and they were donated
from somewhere here in Ohio, actually.
I think we were named after those cannons
because they were delivered to General
Houston on April 11th, our birthday and...

RICK
Wait. Your sister was named after the
General that lost the battle?

JACKI
I guess he wanted boys.

Jacki pauses as she realizes that she just unloaded a lot of
personal information she never intended to.

JACKI
Dad was complicated.

Rick nods toward her child who's still at the Deer Hunting
game. She’s studying the game’s giant pink plastic gun.

RICK
What about your daughter? What’s the
name “Toni” short for? You want a boy too?

JACKI
(getting annoyed)
Not me. Toni was named by her father
‘cause, yes, he did want a boy. Or at
least he’d wanted something other than
what he got.

There's some awkward silence and Jacki looks at her watch.

JACKI
I'm sorry, that reminds me. We've got
to go see her dad about her...
(looking around then whispering)
...birthday party.

She picks up her jacket, takes the matchbook away from Rick
and drops it into her pocket.

RICK
My number is on the-

JACKI
I know. I'm sorry but we gotta get going.

She laughs as she looks across the room at her daughter
happily clicking the gun to shoot at the list of high scores.

RICK
So what do you think her dad will buy
her this year? A football helmet or
a hunting license?

Jacki stops and lights a match from the book she took from
him. She hold it up so he can see the flame burning through
his phone number.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY - LATER THAT NIGHT

GIRL'S VOICE
That hurt asshole! C'mon Rick. Where
you going now? Hey, what’s in the bag?

A door opens and the sound of a party fills the hallway as
Rick quickly exits the apartment. He is carrying a long
camouflaged bag over his shoulder. He tries to slam the door
behind him but a girl's bare foot kicks the door back open.
Rick walks across the hall with the long shoulder bag and
stands staring at another apartment door. The sound of the
party finally slams shut behind him. He pulls a single key
from his pocket, unlocks the door and steps inside. It's
still empty. He sighs and blinks slowly. The silence and
emptiness of this place has a calming effect on Rick. He
turns on the living room light and opens a window. He
carefully takes the green bag off his shoulder and holds it
like shotgun in one arm. He gently sets it on the floor and
something metal rattles around inside. He walks around,
turning on the hallway light, the back bedroom light, then
finally a closet light.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - INSIDE THE CLOSET

Along the walls of the closet are photographs of attractive
dark-skinned girls sleeping in hospital beds. Two-thirds of
these pictures have black X's through their faces.

FADE OUT

EXT. HOSPITAL GARAGE - DAY

Rick and Jack are drinking bottled beverages while washing the
chrome on their ambulance. The maintenance man, Derek, walks
over and lowers his sunglasses to survey their work.

DEREK
(smiling but annoyed)
Hey, I thought this was my job.

RICK
I don’t mind.

JACK
Hear that? We don’t mind.

Jack takes a swig from his bottle and Derek squints and walks
over to look at it closer. He seems angry.

DEREK
What the fuck you drinking? That’s not
from my lunch bag is it?

Rick and Jack don’t look up. Jack shakes his head and sighs
as if he’s had this conversation hundreds of times.

DEREK
Wait, never mind. Hey, you know what
that shit looks like?

Jack sighs again and holds up his bottle to look at it. He’s
drinking one of those white Piña Colada-type soft-drinks.

JACK
(impatiently)
Why don’t ya tell us, chief?

DEREK
You have to ask? It looks like a
goddamn jizz sample, man.

Jack smiles at Rick and reaches behind him to produce a sealed
envelope with “Derek” written on it.

DEREK
(laughing at his own joke)
How can you drink that shit, what the
fuck is wrong with you-

Derek stops as he sees the envelope. He snatches it away,
opens it and frowns as he reads.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - THE NOTE

“Derek will comment on my semen-looking drink
exactly seven seconds after he sees it, thus
proving that he is an expert on this subject
as well as a connoisseur of the shit sandwich.”

BACK TO SCENE

Derek throws down the note in disgust.

DEREK
What the fuck is he drinking, coconut milk
and sea monkeys? What else looks like that?

Jack suddenly leans forward and reaches out to touch the green
plant bulbs he noticed sticking out of Derek’s shirt pocket.
Derek flinches and quickly walks off.

JACK
Hey wait. What was that? Ain’t no green pen.
(turning to Jack)
You see that shit? That fuckers been here so
long he’s actually got weeds growing out of his
pockets! Hold on, you know what he is? He’s
like the “birdman of Alcatraz” or the prisoner
with the mouse in his pocket. Supposed to mean
he’s the cellmate with the heart of gold. Of
course, you never hear about the prisoner with
the dead mouse in his pocket. That’s our boy.

Rick turns away, not really listening as he rubs hard on a
stain on the side of the ambulance. He slows down, distracted
by his own eyes in the rearview mirror.

RICK
(blinking it off)
So why do you keep picking on that sorry
bastard?

JACK
(taking a big drink)
Huh? Fuck him. Every day its the same
jokes, the same shit. I can’t keep helping
him by laughing at that shit.

RICK
I’m just saying, who takes the time to write
a note like that? You’re telling me you
didn’t deliberately grab that nasty sperm-
looking drink from the machine. I mean,
what came first, his jokes, or your strange
choice of refreshments?

Jack finishes off the rest of the bottle and then taps the end
of it against his nose, laughing.

JACK
Exactly.

EXT. AMUSEMENT PARK - DAY

Jacki and Toni are walking with ANTHONY, Jacki’s boyfriend and
Toni's father. He's a sour-faced young man, stomping along
with a bundle of helium balloon with "Happy Birthday" written
on them. Several are half-full and bouncing lower and lower
as they walk. They are surrounded by bright colors and happy
families and voices. They stand out from the crowd with their
sinking balloons and pensive expressions. Toni brightens as
she sees a ride she wants to get in line for. She grabs her
mom’s hand and pulls. Eventually Toni releases her hand and
runs ahead of them. Anthony kicks the sagging balloons in
disgust. Jacki turns on him, eyes blazing in anger.

ANTHONY
(confused)
What?

INT. SLOW MOVING RIDE - SAME DAY

The three of them sit silent in a slow moving Model-T car
riding along a rail. Toni hangs out the back window. Jacki’s
boyfriend Anthony sits in brooding silence with his arms
crossed in front of him. He stares at the steering wheel
watching it turn on its own.

JACKI
Bothers you not driving, doesn’t it?

Anthony doesn’t answer.

JACKI
Thought so.

TONI
This ride sucks! Where’s the hills?

JACKI
It’s not that kind of ride.

TONI
Where’s the water?

JACKI
(wearily)
It’s not that kind of ride.

ANTHONY
(mumbling)
Oh yeah? What kind of ride is it?

JACKI
(very wearily)
What are you talking about?

ANTHONY
(hissing and nodding
at the steering wheel)
Talking about this. Is this how it happened?

Jacki frowns and looks away out on the window as if she’s had
this conversation too many times before.

JACKI
(not really asking)
How what happened.

ANTHONY
You know what.

JACKI
Anthony, please, not now.

ANTHONY
Is that how it happened? Just tell me.
Is that how you two crashed. Someone forget
to keep both hands on the wheel, didn’t he?
That’s why he ended his life with his dick
swinging like a chimp from a fucking tree.

JACKI
Just shut up. I’m not talking about
this again. Not here. Not again.

ANTHONY
(sarcastically)
You know, if you two would have been
on this ride instead, that shit wouldn’t
have happened. And I probably never
would have known, would I? That’s what
it took, huh? Him to get fucking killed
before I found out?

JACKI
Is that why I have to hear about this shit
every couple of months? Because you feel you
were robbed of your chance to kick our ass?

ANTHONY
No, I just want you to admit-

JACKI
(furious)
You don’t want me to admit shit. You know
how pathetic you sound? You’re not upset
because I cheated, you’re upset because you
can’t have any effect on anything because
he’s dead. You’re angry because you had to
fake compassion by my hospital bed. You
don’t think about how I was affected, or why
any of it happened, or how someone actually
died that day. And you don’t care. You just
feel like you were cheated out of a chance to
scream or hit somebody. Well, quit whining
about it, just do it. Do something. You can’t
stand the fact that what happened to him, and
what happened to me, was worse than what you
think happened to you. Actually, you know what?
The more I think about you, the funnier you get.

ANTHONY
(getting loud)
So who was driving? You or him?

JACKI
Please, I don’t want her to listen to this-

ANTHONY
(louder)
I’ll turn up the radio then...

He actually reaches for a radio dial on the fake dashboard
before he realizes where he is.

JACKI
Are you that fucking stupid? That’s you
Anthony. Doesn’t know where he is...
(motioning to her daughter)
...and doesn’t care who hears him.

ANTHONY
(looking straight ahead
and ignoring the question)
So you fucked him while he was driving?
Why? What made you do something like that?

JACKI
Three years I’ve been listening to this.
I’m not talking about it anymore.

ANTHONY
Three years and you’ve never given me
any answers. I just want to know why you
would even think about doing something
like that with someone else?
(silence in the car)
Fucking ANSWER ME.

People in another car glance over at them. Anthony reacts
like a road-raging motorist.

ANTHONY
What the fuck you lookin’ at? Keep
driving asshole. Hey, that motherfucker
cut me off?

Anthony reaches for a rearview mirror to adjust to see the
“traffic” behind him. He laughs when he sees there’s no
mirror on the ride and plays it off like he was just screwing
around. Jacki doesn’t buy it.

JACKI
Are you losing your goddamn mind?

ANTHONY
No. Maybe. I don’t know.

He pulls hard on the steering wheel and the car bumps against
the guide rail.

TONI
(scared)
Mommy!

JACKI
Do that again and we’re getting out.

ANTHONY
I’m pulling over so we can talk about this.

JACKI
(screaming)
You can’t pull over!
(punching the dashboard)
This isn’t real!

Jacki slumps onto the wheel with her head in her hands in
frustration. She hears a voice in her head.

V.O.
...three more minutes and it never happened.

Staring at her, Anthony pulls on the wheel again and the car
lurches harder against the rail.

JACKI
You realize we aren’t actually in a car,
right? You realize that we’re not pulling
over on the side of the road to talk, right?
You realize that this is a fucking RIDE,
right?

Anthony ignores her and, with two more quick turns of the
steering wheel, he manages to jump the rail. Voices call out
in alarm from the other cars, and kids start crying as the
renegade Model-T crushes its way through some flower beds,
cuts off the rest of the cars and heads for the fence. Jacki
opens the door and jumps out, pulling her daughter with her.

ANTHONY
(pleading)
Where are you going? Please, just show me
what you did. You can show me on this ride
and no one will get hurt. Think about it,
this is the perfect place for it...

Jacki walks away with her child in tow. Heads crane out of
the other cars to watch them. Anthony’s car sputters and
bumps it’s way along the fence that surrounds the track.

ANTHONY
I’m serious. Show me what you did. I just
want to know. Show me how it happened...

Jacki and her daughter walk out the entrance. They walk past
a man who’s trying to talk the adolescent line-monitor into
letting him on the ride with his dog. The dog is a huge
hairless Doberman. Toni turns to look at him but her mother is
dragging her too quickly. All she sees is a baseball cap with
a dog’s face stitched on it.

MAN’S VOICE
What if I was blind?

BOY’S VOICE
You’re not though. Please, sir, you’re
blocking the line-

MAN’S VOICE
C’mon, the dog is taller than the stick-

BOY’S VOICE
That’s not a reason...

INT. CAR - LATER THAT NIGHT

Jacki and her daughter are on their way home. It’s quiet in
the car and Toni unbuckles her seat belt to lean forward and
turn on the radio. Jacki quickly pushes her back into her
seat and locks her back in.

JACKI
Sit back. Don’t mess with that.

TONI
But I want to listen to-

JACKI
I don’t care. You shouldn’t play with the
radio when you drive. You’ll cause a wreck.

TONI
But you’re driving. You can’t play
with the radio, or you’ll crash. I
can do anything.

Jacki glares at her daughter and she slumps back in her seat
with her arms crossed, pulling on the seatbelt like it’s
strangling her. Eventually she stops.

TONI
Mommy? Was I born on that ride?

JACKI
(shocked)
What?

TONI
Back at the park. Is that where I came
from? On one of those cars on that ride?

JACKI
What are you talking about?

TONI
I heard someone talking about it.
They said that’s where I came from.
And it was today, right? My birthday?

JACKI
(slowly)
They meant where you were conceived.
Not born. It’s not the same thing.
(pause)
And it wasn’t on that ride.

TONI
What’s conceived?

JACKI
Made.

TONI
(after a thoughtful pause)
Where was I made, then?

Jacki looks at her, then back at the road. She seems to be
deciding whether or not to tell her. Then suddenly Jacki
turns on the radio and the car speeds up. The song “Black
Betty” is about halfway through.

SONG
“Black Betty had a baby bam-a-lam,
damn thing was crazy bam-a-lam...”

When the song repeats the chorus, she turns the car around.

JACKI
Okay. I’ll show you.

Their car passes a pick-up truck with tinted windows that
suddenly hits it’s brakes. It begins to slowly turn around to
follow her. Jacki doesn’t notice.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - REARVIEW MIRROR

The truck can be seen behind them in the distance. The truck
turns off its headlights. Jacki doesn’t notice this either.

EXT. CRASH SITE - SAME NIGHT

Jacki and Toni walk along a stretch of road. Jacki points to
the ground at their feet.

JACKI
Somewhere right about here I think.

TONI
What’s right about here?

JACKI
This is where you came from. Right about
here. Right before the car left the road.

TONI
Huh? How could I...

Jacki ignores her as she walks toward the trees. She’s lost
in thought, remembering something. She walks to the stumps of
several broken trunks, hearing a voice whispering in her head.

V.O.
Three more minutes and it never happened...

JACKI
This is where he died.

TONI
Who?

JACKI
Your daddy. This is the tree that killed him.

She reaches down with a finger and splashes the rainwater that
has collected in the tree stump.

TONI
(hand over her mouth)
Gross! Don’t do that! There’s mosquito
eggs and poop in there.

JACKI
It won’t hurt you, there’s mosquito eggs
and poop in everything. Come over here.
You never heard of “spunkwater” before?

TONI
You mean “stumpwater?”

JACKI
No, honey. It’s called “spunkwater.”
Haven’t you read “Tom Sawyer” yet?

TONI
No, they said it had too many swear
words and the teacher changed her mind.

JACKI
Well, if they woulda let you read it, you’d
know that “spunkwater” can cure all sorts of
things. Gets rid of warts on your hands,
hiccups, toothaches...
(looks up and thinks hard)
Or maybe you had to drag a dead cat on
a string for the hiccups. Don’t remember.

Toni looks down into the stump then backs up holding her nose.

TONI
Why is it all white? It’s so gross.
Pleeeeease, can we go home now?

Jacki jerks her hand out of the water as if something bit her.

JACKI
Okay, let’s go-

Suddenly a man steps from the shadows. It’s Anthony, looking
furious. He shoves Jacki back and she trips over the stump.

ANTHONY
I can’t believe you brought her here.
I can’t believe you keep coming back
here to rub this shit in my fucking face.

She gets up, grabs her daughter and turns to run but stops.
She looks to the ditch along the road remembering something.
It’s silent and her eyes are distant. Anthony stops coming
toward her and looks around. The low growling of an animal
can be heard nearby. Almost in a trance, Jacki walks toward
the ditch still dragging her daughter by the arm. As he
reaches for them, Anthony leans out awkwardly, afraid to move
his legs because of the growl. She steps aside easily.

ANTHONY
Where are you going? Show me where he
died. Show me the tree he was hangin’ from.

Lost in thought, she continues to move toward the ditch,
Anthony is yelling now. The sound of the animal is louder.

ANTHONY
(grabbing a nearby tree)
Is this the one?! Where did that fucker die?
(punches another tree)
Is this the tree? Fucking tell me...

He punches another tree and blood splashes across the bark.

ANTHONY
Is this where he died after you fucked him?!
Is it this one? C’mon. I want to carve
our initials in it. Build us a birdhouse.
One question? Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?

Toni is crying now, tugging on Jacki’s arm as she walks along
oblivious to both their screaming. Then Jacki snaps out of
her trance and turns to him as she moves her child to the car.

JACKI
What good would it have done to tell you?

He’s silent. They stare at each other for a moment, then she
pulls Toni into the car and peels out. Watching her drive
off, Anthony punches one last tree with his bloody knuckles.

ANTHONY
Fuck you. Just fucking tell me where-

He stands with his fist hanging in the air as a shadowy figure
jumps down from the tree he’s under. Before he can react he’s
knocked down in a violent blur of motion. He struggles as
large hands drag him towards a stump. Anthony’s face is
suddenly underwater, bubbling as he flails around. The hands
hold him until he stops moving. Anthony hears the sound of a
dog barking underwater as he dies. Then the dark figure is
quickly up and walking away and a dog’s shadow joins the man’s
shadow on the horizon. Anthony’s body twitches one last time,
his head still underwater in the tree stump.

INT. RICK’S APARTMENT - DAY

Rick is washing a large brown Doberman. He’s checking it’s
nails for debris, scrubbing it’s feet, brushing it’s teeth.

INT. JACKI’S HOUSE - DAY

Two cops, one big, one small, are standing in Jacki’s living
room, questioning her about the murder of her boyfriend.

SMALL COP
You were showing your daughter the
scene of your accident?

Jacki doesn’t answer. She’s watching her daughter out a
window and lost in thought.

SMALL COP
Why?

JACKI
It was her birthday. She wanted to see where-

BIG COP
Where what?

JACKI
Where we crashed. Where she was conceived.

SMALL COP
Sounds like a lot has happened on that
stretch of road. Someone born, someone dies-

BIG COP
(interrupting)
Two “someone’s” died.

SMALL COP
That’s right. Two someone’s. And
what do all these people have in common?

Jacki steps closer to the window to make sure her daughter is
still in the yard. She is barely acknowledging the questions.

SMALL COP
What were you arguing about?

JACKI
Same thing as always.

BIG COP
So tell us.

JACKI
(sighing)
Jealousy. He is always jealous about something.

The small cop reaches into his front pocket and pulls out a
matchbook. Jacki’s eyes widen when she sees it.

BIG COP
You mean “was jealous.” You know those matches?
These have something to do with the argument?

JACKI
It was an old argument.

SMALL COP
(reading off the matchbook)
“Bob, Jerry, Steve, Randy, Mike...”

JACKI
He wanted me write them all down-

SMALL COP
“John, Dave, Rob...”

BIG COP
Wanted you to write what all down?

JACKI
Names of everyone I’d been with before him.

SMALL COP
What’s this squiggly line here between
“Anthony” and the second to last name?

JACKI
It’s just a mark, to show when the line
was between Anthony and everyone before.

BIG COP
Wait, who’s “Mark?”

JACKI
Huh? No, I said it was a mark, to show-

BIG COP
I thought you said the squiggle meant “Mark.”

JACKI
No, that’s not what I...

SMALL COP
Do you know anyone named “Mark?”

JACKI
What?

SMALL COP
I said, do you know anyone named “Mark?”

JACKI
Why?

BIG COP
Because this squiggly line looks like
you started to make the letter “M,” then
you changed your mind.

JACKI
(angry)
What? Why would I do that?

SMALL COP
Maybe because he asked you for this list,
and you started to write down the name
“Mark” and then realized that Anthony knew
him, and you’d been with this “Mark” while
you and Anthony were together. Or maybe this
“Mark” was someone you swore you never fucked
before, so you left a squiggly line instead.

JACKI
You keep saying “Mark.” It’s not “Mark” it’s
“a mark.” And why the hell would I just not
write anything at all if I was hiding something?

BIG COP
(excited)
I know! Maybe you already told him the
number of men, and if you left off “Mark”
you’d get the wrong number-

SMALL COP
Seventeen.

JACKI
Bullshit. There aren’t seventeen names
on there. How the hell could someone
write seventeen names on a matchbook?

SMALL COP
(smiling after a moment)
That was our next question.

BIG COP
That squiggly line was for you. So that
the number matched? Sure. But mostly it’s
so you won’t forget this mystery man, right?

Jacki stares at them a minute, then slowly her glare turns
into a smirk. She shakes her head. The cops look at each
other and one shrugs while the other can’t help but to smile
along with her.

SMALL COP
(laughing)
What’s so funny?

JACKI
You. Both of you. All of you.

BIG COP
Why?

JACKI
(laughing)
Because this is exactly the conversation I
had with Anthony. I’d say you both remind
me of him, but you know what? It’s not you,
it’s all of you.

SMALL COP
(stops laughing)
Listen-

JACKI
(cutting him off)
No. You sound exactly the same. How do you
do that? What kind of effort must it take
to always end up covering the same ground?
How come it all comes back to who the girl
fucked? Are you all so hopelessly insecure?
Even when you’re talking to a stranger like me,
you find it necessary to stand in for the dead
man ‘cause God-fucking-help you if someone
doesn’t get some hateful jealous bullshit
thrown in some woman’s face before the
end of the day-

SMALL COP
Just calm down, please. Obviously we’re here
because the last two men you were with died
within five feet of each other. I don’t see
how you even pretend to be surprised that these
circumstances would bring us to your door-

BIG COP
(holding out an arm to calm him)
And it’s for your safety too. If people
around you are ending up-

JACKI
(looking up sharply, then smacks
the matchbook from his hand)
There was a fucking car crash. And his name
was Eric. I didn’t write it down because it
was already over. If you check “the file”
you’ll see that there’s no mystery to who was
hanging dead in the tree you dumb fuck.

SMALL COP
(very confused)
Then who’s Mark?

Jacki glares at the men for a solid minute. Then she turns as
if she’s remembered something important to do.

JACKI
I have to take my daughter to school soon.

SMALL COP
When you left the scene, what was Anthony doing?

JACKI
I don’t know. I was distracted.

BIG COP
Distracted by what?

JACKI
(pause)
I don’t know.
(pause)
There was a dog loose in the woods.

The two cops look at each other at that. They seem to decide
something and one of them stands up.

BIG COP
We may have more questions, we’ll let you know.

SMALL COP
Stay away from that road. You want to
show anyone else where you wrecked your
car, draw them a fucking map instead.

The two cops leave and Jacki doesn’t watch them go. She
reaches into her pocket and pulls out an identical matchbook.
She studies a burn in the center of it.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - THE MATCHBOOK

Written on the matchbook cover is a phone number so tiny and
scorched that it’s almost illegible.

BACK TO SCENE

Jacki reaches for the phone as she watches her daughter out
the window. She sees her daughter reach down to pick up
something crawling across her shoe. She looks down at her
tiny hand, then smashes her palms together. Jacki blinks in
surprise, then balances the phone between her chin and her
shoulder as she opens the window to yell.

JACKI
What are you doing? It’s time to come in.

TONI
(running toward the house)
Don’t worry mom. It was a ladybug.
I made a wish before I killed it.

INT. AMBULANCE - SAME DAY

Rick and his partner are driving along talking philosophical
nonsense over the blare of the sirens.

JACK
I still don’t understand that question.
Of course it would make a sound.

RICK
The whole point of the question is, how do you
know it would make a sound if no one was there?

JACK
Yeah, maybe there’s no people there, but
there’s other things there. Other things
that can show evidence that it made a sound.

RICK
That’s not the point. I mean, imagine
that there’s nothing there. No way
to prove it-

JACK
But there is something there. Just
by saying there is a tree there to
fall down, you’re saying that there’s
something there. To have a tree you
need an environment that supports trees,
that means that there would have to be
animals. And animals have ears, asshole.

RICK
(acting confused)
Animals have assholes? Listen, the point
of the whole fucking question is this,
if nothing is effected by an action, did
the action happen at all?

JACK
Of course. At least it did with your
stupid tree question. Now, if you give me
an example that ain’t some Aristotle crap
and has rules that make some sense, I’ll
give it some more thought.

RICK
You ever hear of quantum physics? Yes?
No? They say that, until an electron or a
photon or a proton or whatever the fuck it
is, is observed, it’s in two place at once...

JACK
The only thing scarier than you talking
philosophy is you talking physics.

RICK
...so, unless the tree is observed, then
it’s not doing shit, even if it’s cut down,
on fire or walking around.

JACK
You realize that, ever since I met you,
I’ve hesitated to give you any reason
to run with a little bit of knowledge
because you always miss the point and take
everything into a direction that suits you.

RICK
What? Okay, what if-

JACK
(interrupting)
It’s like you’re saying, if a man
punches a man in the face, if there’s
no face to punch, does he punch a man in
the face. It makes no fucking sense-


RICK
What if you replaced your daughter’s dead
dog with one that looks exactly the same?

JACK
Wait, where the hell did that question
come from? I don’t know. I guess it would
depend on how old she was, how sensitive she
was, but how many lies would you have to tell
over the years to keep up the illusion? It’s
not worth it, to have to lie to your family
for how long?

RICK
Okay, what if it was a stranger?

JACK
Wait, so now you’re saying, what if you
went around replacing someone’s dead dog
with an identical copy? Is that really a
rational question? You going to find some
kid who her dog then sneak into the house
the moment it dies and swap it with-

RICK
Obviously I’m talking hypothetically.
Why did you say “her?”

JACK
(ignoring the question)
Then I’d say no. A tree that falls in the
forest makes a sound. Definitely. You know
why? Because a dog makes a sound, dude.
We all make sounds. And the only animal you
can replace without any guilt when it dies,
and this happens all the time, is a fucking
goldfish. You know why? Because it doesn’t
make a sound. A goldfish don’t say shit.

RICK
Okay, think about this accident we’re
heading for now. What if, when get there,
we come across a car wreck and someone who’s
unconscious with a dead puppy under their
arm. And the truck they hit happened to be
full of the exact same dogs? And we could
go over to the truck and replace the dead one
without the girl ever waking up and knowing
that this bad thing had happened to her?

JACK
We’re not talking about trees or dogs here
anymore, are we?

RICK
Not sure that we ever were.

JACK
(looking at him intently)
In that case, Rick, it makes a sound.

RICK
Fuck that, you’re wrong.

They stop the ambulance and step out onto the scene of a dog
mauling. A young girl is lying unconscious on a sidewalk.
After checking her injuries, responses and blood pressure,
Jack waves for Rick to start loading her up.

JACK
I don’t like her eyes, and she didn’t
flinch when I pinched her. She’s in
shock. Let’s get her out of here.

The two rival paramedics, Mike and Mike, pull in and step out
of their ambulance. They are wrapping up their own
philosophical debate. It’s quite a contrast to Jack and
Rick’s earlier conversation.

LITTLE MIKE
So I’m finishing the last ear of corn and
suddenly I’m tasting metal. And now I’m
worried because you shouldn’t be finding no
buckshot in your corn, you know? Your turkey,
sure, maybe your squirrel, but not your corn.

BIG MIKE
Uh huh.

LITTLE MIKE
Then I realized that my mouth feels weird,
and I flick my tongue around and find this
fang, and it ain’t even Halloween yet.
Turns out I swallowed half my tooth.

BIG MIKE
So?

LITTLE MIKE
So? So, now when I shit next it’s
going to be smiling back at me.

BIG MIKE
Ha! Wait. Why do you say smiling back?
Why would you be smiling at your shit to
begin with?

LITTLE MIKE
Relief? Pride? I don’t know. It’s a joke
stupid. You know what I mean. Hey, a dog
smiles at his own shit don’t he?

BIG MIKE
Dog just always look like they’re smiling-

They stop as they notice Rick and Jack over the victim.

JACK
(to Rick)
Oh shit. “Of Mice And Men” to the rescue.
(to their rivals)
Hey. We got this one. Take Lenny to see the
rabbits or something. Hey, you know you’re
about ten miles outside of your electric
fence? Didn’t you feel your collars buzzing?

BIG MIKE
No.

LITTLE MIKE
Good answer, Mike. We knew it was covered,
we just wanted to see it.

JACK
I know you did.

Down over the girl, Rick stops working when he sees her face.
She looks a lot like Jacki. Rattled, he turns to walk back to
the ambulance. He starts to pull out some equipment.

JACK
(grabbing his arm)
Hey. What the fuck are you doing with that?

Rick looks down to see that he was dragging the defibrillator.
He’s confused and quickly shoves it back into the ambulance,
grabbing the gurney instead.

RICK
Sorry. I thought I knew her and I thought-
never mind.

He collapses the metal legs and reaches for her again. Then
he stops, as if he’s seeing something that disturbs him. Jack
quickly pulls him up by his arm to a standing position.

JACK
Dude, your hypothetical dead dog-replacement
scenarios are weird enough for today. Please
get your head out your ass and get to work.

RICK
(looking past Jack to the girl)
I’m sorry, I just think something strange is
going on here. I mean, does that look like a
dog bite on her knee? Or does it look like
someone wanted it to look like a dog bite?

JACK
(getting louder)
What? What?? Who fucking cares? That’s
not our job. Just clear her leg so we can-

RICK
(head close to Jack’s)
Listen, what I’m saying is-let me in the
back on the way there. I could ask her some
questions like-

JACK
Dude, you’re scaring me here. She’s in shock.
You’re not asking her shit. You’re driving.

RICK
But was she really attacked by a dog?
Who saw a dog? What if she was knocked out
and raped and she was waking up and shit went
bad and someone tried to make it look like-

JACK
What the fuck are you-hold on. Tell me this.
How the hell do you fake a dog attack?

RICK
Well, you’d still need a dog to pull it off.

JACK
I thought you said there was no dog.

RICK
No, I said there was no dog attack. Maybe
there was a dog, I don’t know...

Rick turns and looks up and down the street. His eyes light
up when he sees a bumper sticker.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - BUMPER STICKER

“A MAN IS A DOG’S BEST FRIEND BUT A
TREE IS A DOG’S BEST FRIEND!”

BACK TO SCENE

RICK
Look! That can’t be a coincidence. Maybe
someone saw that bumper sticker and got the
idea. Or maybe the guy who owns that car
has the dog we’re looking for. I’ll stay here-

Jack finally snaps and shoves Rick hard. The small crowd that
has gathered looks up in surprise and Rick finally seems to
come to his senses. He leans back down to work on the girl.

JACK
(quietly)
Goddammit, do your fucking job.

INT. BAR - LATER THAT NIGHT

Rick and Jacki are sitting at a table. A band is setting up
their gear on the stage behind them. Written on the bass drum
is the name of the band, “Relationshit.”

JACKI
...he said he was done with me,
with Toni. He won’t be coming back.

RICK
Then Anthony’s Toni’s father?

JACKI
Yes. No. I mean, he raised her.
But he’s not the biological father.
That’s one of the reasons he’s gone.

RICK
(confused)
So, when I saw you in the hospital
that day, when your daughter was
spitting at me like I was on fire-

JACKI
She wasn’t spitting at you. A doctor had
just scraped the inside of her cheek. I
guess he wanted to see if she was allergic
to anything. Then he tricked her with a
needle to take blood for the paternity test.

RICK
(smiling)
Actually, you got them backwards. The
needle was to check for allergies. And
they scrape the inside of your mouth for
the paternity test.

JACKI
Weird. You’d think you’d need blood to
find out a father, instead of just some spit.
But you know what? I like it like that. It
makes the issue seem less important somehow.

RICK
Well, it’s not the saliva. They’re scraping
the inside of her cheek to collect cells to
test the DNA, it’s more complicated than-

JACKI
(cutting him off)
Anyway, Anthony always suspected that Toni
wasn’t his. He made me take that test.
Even though she always called him daddy,
it wasn’t enough for him.

RICK
Did you get the results back?

JACKI
(looking away)
No. It doesn’t really matter now anyway.

RICK
Why’s that?

She studies his face as if she’s trying to decide something.
Then she decides.

JACKI
Let me tell you a story. I met Anthony the
week that my father died. We had spent that
first night talking over drinks about our
parents and I said a lot about my father, none
of it good, but I never got around to saying
that he was sick or dying or anything. Then,
the next weekend, the day before we went out
again, my father died. I had all sorts of
crazy feelings about it, and I wasn’t ready
to tell Anthony because I didn’t know him that
well. Either of them actually. And I still
don’t know why I didn’t call off the date. A
week goes by and, for no good reason, I’m still
avoiding the subject. Then something happens
where I finally have to tell him that my dad’s
dead and he gives me this crazy look. First he
doesn’t believe me, then he’s wondering what
kind of person doesn’t mention the death of
their father especially when it happened the
night before we were in bed together. I think
he was thinking I was lying about it, to get
sympathy or attention or something. Otherwise,
it just wouldn’t make sense to him that I would
keep something like that to myself. Long story
short, Anthony never trusted me from the start,
just because I didn’t feel like telling him
every fucking thing about me and my father,
every pain and disappointment and argument and
our entire lives summed up over that first
beer. That’s what I was supposed to do? So
yeah, he never trusted me, right up until...

She fades off. Rick soaks in the information as he drinks.

RICK
So, why do you think you kept your father’s
death to yourself?

JACKI
I don’t know. Maybe because of a lot of
stuff. For one, Anthony always suspected
that he wasn’t my real father. He said-

RICK
Wait, you said “Anthony” wasn’t your real-

JACKI
No. I meant my dad. My dad didn’t think he
was my real father. He said it in front of
my mom on about five occasions. I wanted to
scream at him, “is that so goddamn important!”

RICK
(shaking his head)
I don’t know. Not to take Anthony’s side but
it’s weird how first impressions can stick with
you forever. Even if you prove someone wasn’t
lying to you, you always remember that initial
feeling of being lied to. And you associate
“lying” with them forever. Even when they tell
you the grass is green you look twice.

Jacki looks at him for a long time, then leans forward.

JACKI
Okay. I have to tell you something then.

RICK
What?

JACKI
Anthony was murdered last night.

RICK
(shocked)
Huh? What? Where? How...

JACKI
I don’t know. Two cops came to tell me about
it today. More like ask me about it actually.

RICK
Today??? And you’re at a bar the same night?
And you don’t even mention this at all while we-

JACKI
Christ. See, that’s what I was talking about.
And men wonder why women are reluctant to talk
about personal shit. When they have to
constantly worry about their responses being
inappropriate to the situation.

RICK
I’m sorry, I was just surprised that-I mean.
It’s not like all women have a day like yours.

JACKI
I’m sorry. Maybe I’m just ashamed that I’m
not that sorry.

RICK
How was he killed?

JACKI
Can you do me a favor?

RICK
Uh, okay.

JACKI
Could we pretend that I didn’t tell you he
was murdered so we can have a conversation
about all the shitty things he did without
feeling guilty?

RICK
(not sure at all)
Sure.

JACKI
Okay. Thing is, Anthony always thought Toni
wasn’t his. Even though he burdened a girl
with his name, even though she tried to love
him, he held it against us that her real father
was the one who died that night in the crash.

RICK
The one hanging in the tree?

JACKI
Yes. It bothered him off and on for a long
time, only lately he got the balls to insist
on a blood test. I agreed because I wanted
things to calm down but now I think it was a
mistake. I think that the split-second of
pain in my daughter’s arm was more attention
than this subject deserved.

RICK
Some would disagree. You get the results back?

JACKI
I said no. Didn’t I say no?

RICK
I don’t remember.

JACKI
Me neither. You know, I hate talking about
this stuff with you. I don’t want to come
across as a victim. I don’t want it to seem
like my dad and my boyfriend have been the
only things that have affected my life. I’m
defined by more than just the men who cross
my path, you know? You should know that I’ve
made choices that have done infinitely more
damage than they ever could have.

They listen to the music. Rick watches her as she watches the
band. She shoves away her beer and crosses her arms.

JACKI
You know, even when I tell myself that I’m
unaffected by certain things, my body knows
the difference. Sometimes my stomach hurts
as if I’ve eaten a sandwich full of thorns.

Her comment makes Rick turn back to her and sit up excitedly.

RICK
I’ve been thinking about some things
lately. And it amazes me how some men
don’t understand what they are doing to
someone that they supposedly love. I was
thinking today that, what if, instead of
causing a headache or a stomach ache with
their anger, what if their jealousy caused
their girl to get a nosebleed every time he
accused her of smiling at someone, every
time he checked her email, every time he
suspiciously unfolded a scrap of paper from
the jeans she left on his floor. Think
about it. What if, every time he screamed
at her about how many guys she’s fucked, a
little drop of blood ran out the corner of
her mouth? Maybe then he’d think twice
about what he was doing to her...

She looks at him with an expression of amusement, horror and
then understanding, but it’s clear she’s interested in the
things he’s saying. She looks around the room and takes a
drink and hears the voice in her head again.

V.O
Three more minutes and it never happened...

On the TV screens in the four the corners of the bar, a
lumberjack contest is showing on a sports channel. The
frantic sawing of the two contestants seems to fit with the
sounds of the band tuning their instruments.

JACKI
Ugh. Is that the chainsaws or the band
that we’re hearing?

Rick looks at the band, then at the lumberjack show. He
laughs and shrugs then gets up to turn off the TV above their
heads. As he sits back down, his head is still cocked to
stare at the action on the screen.

JACKI
Why turn it down if you’re still going
to watch it?

RICK
(turning back to her)
Sorry. I don’t know. I was always one of
those kids who was afraid he’d miss something.
It always pissed off my dad because I’d fall
asleep with the TV on every night and I’d
refuse to leave a movie theater until the
last of the credits was finished rolling.

JACKI
(after another drink)
So, you’re a paramedic, huh? Tell me a story.
Like how many people do you save every night?

RICK
(frowning)
Hard to say. Eighty percent of the trips
are bullshit. People using the ambulance for
a free taxi service to the hospital because
their insurance covers it. But the real stuff?
There are still plenty of them too. Over the
last couple years, I’ve given myself a couple
limits. I park it for the night when I’ve hit
six saves or three losses. Depending on which
comes first. Those numbers are where I draw
the line. Sometimes I forget to park it though.

JACKI
Then what’s the most people you’ve-

RICK
Twenty six-

JACKI
(cutting him off, eyes
wide in disbelief)
What? You saved twenty six people in one-

RICK
(cutting her off)
Twenty six dead.

JACKI
(looking away)
Oh. Sorry. Damn. How can you even function
after seeing that many people die in one night.

RICK
(looking back at the TV)
I couldn’t. Worst part was it was one of
those lumberjack contests.
(waits for a reaction)
Just kidding.

JACKI
(smiling at the joke)
So does everyone at your job keep track of
the numbers?

RICK
(shrugging)
Some of us do. Some keep track of their saves
vs. losses average. And some assholes try to
up their average by racing to calls that they
know are easy. Like stubbed toes and cat
scratch fevers ‘n shit. One time, just ‘cause
there was some kind of betting pool between
crews, three ambulances from three hospitals
raced to a bee-sting only to find that yeah,
it had started with a sting but after the man
in the car called, he flew off the highway and
crashed through a boatload of boyscouts happily
bobbing down the river. Serves ‘em right. The
crews I mean, not the scouts. Worrying about
the percentages.

JACKI
(frowning)
Is that what you’re doing with me?

RICK
What?

JACKI
Working on your batting average? If you
are, sorry. Not only am I not allergic
to bee stings, they barely hurt me at all.
I used to swat them with my bare hand when
I was six. Even my dad was ducking for cover
and I’d just grab them. Something to do with
my blood-type or something.

RICK
(looking like he’s in love)
No shit.

INT. RICK’S CAR - LATER THAT NIGHT

Rick is driving Jacki home. They are both quiet and pensive
looking. The song “Simonize” by Pete Yorn is on the radio:

SONG
“Lose your life today...”

JACKI
(staring at the dashboard numbers)
You know what I remember?

SONG
“...and follow me into the alleyway...”

RICK
From when?

JACKI
From the crash.

RICK
What do you remember?

JACKI
I remember someone’s voice.

RICK
(looks at her)
Saying what?

JACKI
Saying, “three more minutes and it never
happened.”

Silence in the car. Rick squints at the road and sees a dead
animal on the yellow line. He swerves around it.

JACKI
Did you just try to run that over?

RICK
No, I was avoiding it.

JACKI
It looked like you were trying to hit it.

RICK
No, I’d never do that. I go in a fight
with an ex-girlfriend for doing that once.
I swerved to miss this creature and she got
all mad saying it was still moving and I
should have put it out of it’s misery.
But I don’t believe in that shit. I think
people just use that as an excuse to kill
something. One time I was watching a horror
movie with my dad and there was this scene
where they found this monster baby that kept
screaming and I said, “why don’t they put it
out of its misery?” and my dad got furious.

JACKI
Why?

RICK
He was all like, “that thing is fighting
for every last breath it can get.” And
I was like, “but it’s a mutant lizard thing,
it’s suffering.” And he says, “it’s fighting
to live, not to die.” And I just kept saying,
“but it’s a monster.” And dad, he goes, “it
doesn’t know it’s a monster.”

There’s another shadow on the road and Rick swerves again.
Silence in the car. Rick keeps looking at her like he wants
to tell her something. He scratches at the window for a
couple seconds, then blurts out a hypothetical question.

RICK
So if a tree falls in the forest and
there’s no one there to hear it, does
it make a sound?

JACKI
(almost absently)
Maybe if there’s a dog loose in the woods...

Rick swerves again, almost wrecking the car when he hears
that.

JACKI
What the hell?

RICK
Sorry. I thought I saw something.

Rick hesitates. Again he seems to want to say something but
changes his mind to ask more random questions.

RICK
Have you noticed a lot of dogs around lately?

JACKI
(studying his face)
Well, you know what they say, if you think
you’re seeing a lot of dogs everywhere, then
you’ll look for them and see dogs everywhere.
Or something like that.

Rick says nothing and they drive on a while. There’s another
shadow in the road. Rick squints and sees that, whatever it
is, it’s still moving. Or, at least, the wind is fluttering
it’s broken wing. He glances at Jacki and sees her yawning
with her eyes shut. He adjusts the steering wheel slightly
and runs it over. She doesn’t notice the tiny bump under the
tire. Rick can’t help but yawn too.

EXT. JACKI’S DRIVEWAY - MINUTES LATER

They’re idling in front of her house. Their frowns finally
relax and they lean in close. They almost kiss when a strange
electronic squawk sound makes Jacki jump back. She looks down
to see some extra electronic equipment under his radio.

JACKI
What is that? A CB?

RICK
A police scanner. Most of the staff has ‘em.

JACKI
I saw it flashing before. I just thought
it was an equalizer.

RICK
That’s funny. Because that’s exactly what I
like to call it. An “equalizer.”

JACKI
Why?

RICK
Because the cops know what we’re up to and
we figure that we should know what they’re
up to. Our jobs are connected in more ways
than you know. You know?

JACKI
I think I know.
(smiles and gets out)
See ya.

RICK
See ya.

Rick drives off, adjusting his rearview to watch her go in.

INT. JACKI’S HOUSE - SAME NIGHT

Jacki walks in the door and the baby-sitter, a smiling teenage
girl curled up on the couch, quickly sits up to greet her.

BABY-SITTER
(talking through a yawn)
Hey Jacki! Toni’s sleeping. Me too almost.

JACKI
How’d she do?

BABY-SITTER
She was fine. We played chess. Well,
she wanted to play chess but we really
just played checkers with the chess pieces.

Jacki walks over to look at the large brass chess set on the
coffee table. She thoughtfully picks up the knight.

JACKI
Yeah. She used to want me to teach her how
to play but she can’t sit still long enough.
She just plays with the pieces like army men.

BABY-SITTER
That’s all they are, if you think about it.
She’s so cute.
(grabs her bookbag to leave)
Okay, see ya next time.

Jacki pays the baby-sitter and closes the door behind her.
She drops her keys on the table next to the chess set and
heads for her daughter’s room to check on her. She’s
surprised to find her daughter sitting in the glow of her tiny
TV, still wide awake. Jacki gasps in mock surprise and leans
over to turn off the TV.

JACKI
(hesitating)
Hold it. What the heck are you watching?

It’s a low-brow talk show. On the screen some people in a
studio audience are engaged in a screaming match while the
guests on the stage try to struggle away from security guards
to attack each other. Every other word is “bleeped” as the
people unleash a flood of profanity.

JACKI
(reaching for the knob)
C’mon, enough of this crap, I’d rather you try
to sneak a beer into bed than watch this shit.

TONI
Mommy noooooo. Wait, just listen. Why
are they making those noises? Is that
what happens when people get real angry?

JACKI
What? No, those are just “bleeps.”

TONI
Huh?

JACKI
“Bleeps.” It’s what the do when
someone says a swear word on TV.

TONI
Why not just tell them they can’t?

JACKI
Doesn’t work. Actually, I think they
tell them to swear as much as possible.

TONI
Why?

JACKI
People like hearing those “bleeps.”
They get to fill in the blanks with
the nastiest words they can think of.

TONI
(fascinated)
Like what?

JACKI
(leaving the TV and sitting on
the edge of the bed and smiling)
I don’t know, you tell me. Every time the
TV “bleeps,” you try to fill in the word.

TONI
(bouncing around all excited)
Okay!

She reaches out and turns up the volume. Two people are nose
to nose on stage screaming.

VOICE ON TV
“I will (bleep!) on your (bleep!)”

TONI
(looking at her mom)
Uhhh...

JACKI
Well, c’mon. You’re supposed to
fill in the blanks.

TONI
(frowning)
I can’t think of anything fast enough.

JACKI
(smiling and turning
off the television)
Neither can they. That’s the problem.

Her daughter, still frowning, ponders this as she climbs into
bed. Her mother turns out the light and starts to leave.

TONI
Mommy, on that show, how come they
were calling the mommy “mother sister?”
Can she be both?

INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY - SAME NIGHT

Rick is crossing the hall from one apartment to the other. He
is carrying the long camouflaged bag over one shoulder. He
walks into the empty apartment and unslings the bag as the
door gently closes behind him.

INT. AMBULANCE - NEXT NIGHT

Rick and his partner, Jack, are on their way to the scene of
an accident. Rick is in the back of the ambulance messing
with the defibrillator. Jack turns to see him holding the
paddles up to the sides of his head.

JACK
(alarmed)
Dude, what are you doing?

RICK
Huh? Nothing. Just locking this shit
down so it doesn’t slide.

JACK
Keep them away from your head. Unless
you want to lose your multiplication
tables. Can’t you see the warning label?

INSERT - CLOSE UP - WARNING LABEL

A drawing of a stick figure holding something on his ears,
with jagged lines of electricity coming off his head.

BACK TO SCENE

RICK
Jesus Christ. Look at that drawing.
You made that, didn’t you.

JACK
Nope. Came with the equipment. It’s
for stupid fuckers like you who can’t read.

RICK
(squinting at the warning label)
What the hell. I saw that a while back
and just thought it was a warning not to
wear headphones while you’re driving.

JACK
Funny. You about done back there?

RICK
(ignoring the question)
Maybe it’s like those cartoons of
babies going through windshields.

JACK
What are you talking about?

RICK
Those cartoon things? They show a baby
crashing through a windshield. They’re
on the sun visors in most cars now. Like
those airbag warnings?

JACK
No idea what the fuck you’re talking about.

RICK
(finally climbing into
the passenger seat)
Huh? C’mon, you’ve seen them.

JACK
I’ve seen a warning to correctly put the
baby in the baby seat. Or a warning to
turn the baby seat facing the back. But
I’ve never in my life seen a cartoon of a
baby’s head cracking the windshield of a-

RICK
You’re nuts. They’re everywhere. They come
standard on like every car now.

JACK
(laughing)
I’ve seen the warning, in words. I’ve read
it hundreds of times when I put my cd’s up
on the visor.

RICK
That’s not words you’re seeing. That’s
a cartoon. You’re just so used to seeing
cartoons everywhere that you’re dumbass
thinks you’re reading.

JACK
You’re telling me that, on every new car,
there’s a cartoon of a bloody baby crashing
headfirst through a fucking windshield?

RICK
Sort of. It’s not bloody. It’s just
ready to hit the glass.

JACK
Next you’re going to tell me that every pop-
bottle comes with a drawing of a the jagged
end of it sticking in a baby’s neck-

RICK
(exasperated)
I’ll show you if you want-

JACK
(interrupting)
-or you’re going to turn over your shoe and
show me a sticker that shows a foot punting
a baby through the uprights? With a red
circle and a line through it, of course.
So no one gets confused.

RICK
Dude. This sticker shows lighting bolts
shooting out of this fuckers face and you-
Never mind. Fuck you then.

Rick crawls back into the back of the ambulance and grabs one
of the paddles again.

RICK
Maybe they warn us not to put these
next to our heads so that what-

JACK
I think they’re warning us not to put
them on a patient’s head-

RICK
...so that we don’t try it just out of
curiosity. Just to see what would happen.

JACK
Who would try that?

RICK
(moving toward Jack with a paddle)
Maybe it’s harmless. Maybe it just changes
the color of your eyes or something.

JACK
Stay the fuck away, Frankenstein.

Rick flips a switch and the machine powers up with a whine.

RICK
(leaning over like he’s
going to attack him)
You know what drives me nuts? When people
think “Frankenstein” is the asshole with the
bolts in his neck. That’s “Frankenstein’s
Monster.” Frankenstein is the doctor.
(backing off)
But you got it right and it just saved
you’re life. Hey, what are you flinching
for, dude. Maybe it just makes you smarter!

JACK
Oh, in that case, give me a jolt.

Rick fakes a lunge and the ambulance swerves slightly as Jack
swats at Rick with one of his hands. Rick laughs and turns
off the machine, then climbs back into the seat.

JACK
(trying to be angry)
Okay, knock that shit off, we’re almost
there.

EXT. ROADSIDE - MINUTES LATER

Rick and Jack walk up to see their rivals, Mike and Mike.

RICK
What the fuck are they doing here?

JACK
Ten bucks says they’re here for the meat.

RICK
Ten bucks says they’re still talking
about his tooth showing up in his shit.

As they get closer, the two Mike’s conversation becomes clear.

BIG MIKE
There’s just something very unnatural
about a turd smiling up at you from the
toilet. You feel like you shouldn’t flush
it. Maybe even name the goddamn thing.

RICK
You owe me ten bucks.

Jack reaches around to his back pocket and unsnaps it.

LITTLE MIKE
(yelling at a fireman nearby)
Hey! We’ll take care of that carcass!
That meat is still good!

JACK
(snapping his pocket closed)
Looks like we’re even.

Big Mike and Little Mike walk towards the side of the road
where a dead deer lies twisted in the ditch.

BIG MIKE
You know, when I was in school, we all had to
write us a story for English class, and this
one girl showed up with a fable about a boy who
looks into his toilet bowl to see the future.

LITTLE MIKE
Ha! When I look into the toilet, all I
see is the past!

Rick and Jack stand next to vehicle where the firemen are
working to remove the door to get to an unconscious woman
inside. Crying in the back seat is a young boy with his nose
against the back window. Sparks from the firemen’s “jaws of
life” cutting device fly around Rick as he gets close to the
car to speak to the boy.

FIREMAN
Asshole! Stay off the vehicle until we’re done!

RICK
(ignoring the fireman and
leaning close to the car)
It’s okay buddy.

BOY
(sniffling)
The horse dead?

RICK
Naw, horses are tough. It ran away. It’s
not dead little man.

Jack frowns and turns to watch Big Mike and Little Mike
struggling to put the deer into their ambulance. The boy
turns to look. Rick knocks on the glass to get his attention.

RICK
Hey! Look at me. Everyone is fine.
The horse is fine.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - THE BOY’S VIEW OF RICK

From inside the car, the boy sees Rick’s fevered spark-covered
face yelling at him. His voice is muffled from the fireman’s
buzz-saw and the boy recoils. He looks past Rick to see the
deer’s head bounce off one of the doors of the ambulance then
fall loose onto the ground. The boy cries even harder.

BACK TO SCENE

RICK
No! It’s fine! That’s the special
ambulance for animals.
(the boy inside the car
is hysterical now)
Shhh! It’s okay! They’re just taking
it to the woods so it can run away!

Jack grabs Rick’s arm and yanks him away from the vehicle.

JACK
Do me a favor? Stop helping.

RICK
What? I’m just trying to calm the kid down.

JACK
The kid was calm, until you started screaming.

Another fireman appears and starts yelling at them.

SECOND FIREMAN
What the fuck are you two doing? If you
don’t hang back until my man cracks that
door, I’m going to send you off the scene
and use them two instead.

The fireman cocks a thumb back at Mike and Mike just in time
to see them crack the bones in the deer’s legs to fold them up
and slam the ambulance doors behind it.

RICK
Fuck you. They’re not even on duty. You
heard them. They’re only here for the meat.

SECOND FIREMAN
Huh?

RICK
They’re not even on. The only reason those
fuck-ups are even here is because they’re
hunters on a list to be called when there’s
roadkill to clean up. Hell, they’ll probably
mount the head anyway.

SECOND FIREMAN
Just stay back. I won’t tell you again.

JACK
Listen to the man, Rick. Hey, how come you
don’t grab the deer meat?

RICK
(confused)
Huh?

JACK
Don’t you hunt?

RICK
No. Why?

JACK
Don’t you have a rifle? I’ve seen it.

RICK
(very confused)
No. Huh? What are you talking about?

JACK
Never mind. Just stay the fuck back, dude.

INT. AMBULANCE - MINUTES LATER

Rick and Jack are heading to the hospital. Something is wrong
with the siren again. It’s emitting a strained, choked
warble. Jack is turning it off and on to try to fix it. His
actions only make the sound of the siren more disturbing.

RICK
Just leave it. It sounds fine.

JACK
Dude. I’ve been doing some thinking.
I don’t want to sound like one of those
buddy cop movies but, I’ve been thinking
about requesting another partner-

RICK
(oblivious to Jack)
You know, my girl and I hit a dog once...

JACK
Are you listening to me?

RICK
...we were on our way to an amusement park,
lost as usual. She was unfolding a road map
and it was getting in my way when all the
sudden BAM! The fucking dog goes legs up,
over the hood and SMACK! Face hits the
windshield, then high up in the air again
and THUD! It bounces off the trunk and
hits the road. She’s almost hysterical
so I tell her to relax. I fuck with the
map some more while I’m climbing out of
the car so that it’ll block her view,
hoping that she’ll try folding it up to
get it off her head. Then I get out and
run behind the car. The dog is dead as
shit, bent all wrong, head facing backwards.
I look back and I can see her getting out
of the car and I start thinking fast, I
think that our day will be ruined if she
sees this dog, and she’ll feel responsible
because of the map and shit, we still got
like three hours in the car before we even
get there. So I kicked the dog under the
car. She starts stepping onto the road and
I run over to the ditch and act like I’m
watching it run away. I’m like, “Damn!
Can’t believe that tough little bastard
lived through it! Not even a limp!” And
she’s looking up at the woods and believing
me. Doesn’t even knowing that the dog is
right under her feet. She’s finally breathing
normal so I climb back in the car, start
driving away, the whole time thinking, “if
I pull this off, I swear I’ll tell her the
truth someday,” and right about then is when
the back tire bounced over the dog.

Jack stares at him a moment, then continues to switch the
siren on and off to correct its strangled sound. Nothing he
does helps to fix the problem. He finally punches the
dashboard and leaves the broken siren screaming.

JACK
Then what?

RICK
Huh? I don’t know. We didn’t last too
long after I ran over that deer. Twice.

JACK
I thought you said it was a dog.

RICK
That’s what I meant.

JACK
So you broke up because of the dog?

RICK
No, but I wish we had. It would have
been a good reason, better than the
real reason.

JACK
(playing with the siren again)
What the fuck is up with this thing?

The siren’s wail turns louder and more annoying. Rick shrugs.

RICK
Nothing. Sounds the same as it always did.

He reaches up to pull down the sun visor and a piece of paper
flutters into his lap. It appears to be a child’s drawing.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - CRUDE CRAYON DRAWING

Scrawled on the paper is a bloody picture of a stick-figure
baby crashing head-first through a windshield.

BACK TO SCENE

Rick looks at Jack like he knows Jack drew it. Jack shrugs.

RICK
Think you’re funny, don’t cha?

INT. EMPTY APARTMENT - NIGHT

Rick steps into an apartment, turning on the light in the
empty living room. He opens the window. He is carrying the
camouflaged bag over his shoulder again. He walks to a window
and stares off into the night, breathing and blinking slowly.

INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY - SAME NIGHT

Jacki is standing in the hallway of Rick’s apartment building,
looking down at the address on a matchbook and matching it
with the number on his door. She tentatively knocks and the
door quickly swings open. A girl chewing on ice is blocking
the doorway, looking Jacki over. She swallows one ice cube,
then puts another in her mouth and crunches away, staring.

JACKI
Uhhh, does Rick live here?

ICE GIRL
(mocking her)
Uhhh, sorta.
(chewing ice, pointing)
Across the hall. Sorta lives there too.

Jacki turns and knocks on the door across the hall. She’s
turning to leave when the door opens. Rick blinks in shock.

JACKI
Hi.

RICK
Um, hello.
(he looks down the hall)
What’s going on?

JACKI
I came to see you.
(she holds up the matchbook)
But you gave me the wrong address.

RICK
No, that’s the right address, I just...

He scratches his head and looks around some more. Clearly
he’s rattled by the unexpected visit. He opens the door wide
and waves her in. He still has the bag over his shoulder.

RICK
C’mon in if you want.

INT. EMPTY APARTMENT

Jacki steps inside and looks around. There is nothing except
white walls and a hanging lightbulb. She glances at the long
bag swinging from his shoulder.

JACKI
(turning around slowly)
So, uh, are you coming or going?

RICK
Neither.

JACKI
So what are you doing.

RICK
Nothing.

Rick sees that she’s staring at the bag so he swings it around
to the front of his body. Something metal rattles inside of
it. Jacki backs up and puts an arm out towards the door.

RICK
Wait. It’s not what you think. Watch.

Rick unzips the bag and a jumble of green canvas and metal
rods clangs to the floor. Jacki jumps back in a alarm. Rick
reaches down and, in a quick flurry of movement, pulls on the
rods until a fold-out green hunting chair pops into existence
in the middle of the room. Jacki smiles and they both step
back to appreciate the empty room with the lonely chair dead
center in the middle of it.

JACKI
So what are you doing in here?

RICK
Long story. You really want to hear it?

JACKI
(running to the chair to sit down)
Sure. But you’re going to have to
tell it to me standing up.

RICK
Okay. I used to live here with my ex-
girlfriend. Then we decided we needed a
bigger place because we were always fighting.
And when we were always fighting, I would go
sit in the empty two-bedroom apartment across
the hall. See, they were painting it and it
was never locked. Eventually things got
better and, when they finished painting it,
we moved into that two-bedroom apartment-

JACKI
The one I was just at?

RICK
(pacing in front of her)
Yeah. Turned out though, that the small
apartment wasn’t the reason we were always
fighting. So I would come back over here
and sit, wondering if I’d made one mistake,
two mistakes, or if maybe two mistakes could
cancel out each other. Anyway, so we break
up and I get another roommate to cover the
bills, but then she started getting on my
nerves, so, since I still had the key, the
key I made my ex-girlfriend actually, I come
back over here to sit and think. And I just
kept coming over here to sit and think. And
I’ll keep coming until someone moves in.

JACKI
(rocking back and forth)
So what’s the story with this chair?
You hunt?

RICK
No. I just like this one lonely chair.
Kind of self-pitying, I know.

JACKI
Why don’t you leave it here.

RICK
I don’t know. I don’t want to leave anything
here in case the landlord shows the place.
And a chair in a bag looks less suspicious
when I cross over the hall with it. People
think I’m the exterminator of something.

JACKI
What? When that thing is rolled up, it’s
quite possible the most suspicious thing I’ve
ever seen someone carry.

RICK
Huh? I don’t think so.

JACKI
Whatever, Oswald.

Rick turns to look out the window.

RICK
Actually it was my dad’s chair. He tried to
make a hunter out of me. It didn’t work out,
that’s another story.


JACKI
Okay, just trying to follow this. You
lived here, and hung out there, and now
you live there and hang out here?

RICK
(sitting on the floor
in front of the chair)
Exactly.

JACKI
Why?

RICK
(furiously scratching his head)
I don’t know. When I would hang out there,
when I lived here, I had this hopeful feeling.
I would get excited find broken toys in the
closets and bottlecaps in the corners and shit
under the ‘fridge and I would think about who
used to live there and how things could be for
us if we lived there. But when I moved in
there, and started sneaking back in here, I
started noticing pieces of the things we’d
left behind. And I realized that none of that
garbage you find in corners means a damn thing.

Jacki thoughtfully kicked the foot-rest of the hunting chair.

JACKI
So what happened with your dad?

RICK
(sighing)
I don’t remember. He took me hunting when
I hit eighteen. Turned out we were hunting
strange dogs instead of deer.

JACKI
Did you just say “strange” dogs?

RICK
Did I? I meant “stray” dogs.

Rick frowns and looks up at the ceiling, lost in thought.
Jacki leans forward to take his hand but stops when the
hunting chair creaks ominously like its going to collapse.

EXT. HIGHWAY - NEXT DAY

Rick and Jack are pulling up to a car wreck on the highway.
Their broken siren sputters a couple times like a backfiring
engine then stops. Two dead men are stuck headfirst in the
windshields of each other’s cars. Jack is moving slowly
because both men are clearly dead. Rick is moving quickly
because he think something strange is going on. He walks over
to a dazed victim sitting on the bumper of his car and starts
asking him increasingly inappropriate questions.

RICK
Were you involved in this, or did you
just get here?

VICTIM
Who?

RICK
What direction were you going?

VICTIM
(suddenly noticing Rick)
What?

RICK
Did you notice any dogs in the area?

VICTIM
Dogs?

JACK
(muffled, from behind
the ambulance)
Rick! Over here!

RICK
(ignoring his partner)
You notice any strange cloud formations...

The victim looks down the road at the flashing lights and the
parade of emergency vehicles, cops, paramedics and firemen.

VICTIM
(confused)
There was never a “crowd” around here,
except for all you guys...

EXT. SUBURBAN FRONT YARD - SAME DAY

Rick and Jack are hustling from the ambulance with boxes of
gear in their hands. A young boy, about 8 or 9 years-old, is
sitting in the grass with his mother. His mother is holding a
bloody towel around the boy’s hands, which are clutching the
tattered remains of a large kite. Jack gently removes the
mother’s hands, then the kite, all the while talking to the
boy but really addressing his questions to the mother.

JACK
What happened here, son?

MOTHER
His kite got stuck in a tree, so he
was throwing firecrackers at it.

RICK
(smiling at the boy)
Of course, made sense at the time,
didn’t it?

The boy sniffles and says nothing. Not needed, Rick stands up
and looks around the yard. Jack finally removes the mother’s
hands and the remains of the kite to expose the wound.

JACK
(frowning at the boy’s injuries)
You did this with some firecrackers?

MOTHER
Well, he was playing with a can of
spray paint and some gasoline too.

RICK
(from behind them)
With spray paint and gasoline too? What?
You all out of sharks and chainsaws?

JACK
(glaring at Rick to shut up)
Did the paint can explode?

MOTHER
Yes. I guess he wanted to see what was inside.

RICK
(suddenly interested)
What was inside?

JACK
(ignoring Rick’s question)
We’re going to need to-

RICK
(leaning down to the boy)
Hey. What was inside?

JACK
(gritting his teeth)
Rick, will you please get-

RICK
(turning to the mother)
So what was inside the can? Anyone get
a look?

Suddenly Jack is standing up and seems ready to punch Rick in
the face. He takes a deep breath to maintain control and
speaks slowly.

JACK
Why don’t you just wait in the truck?

RICK
(defensive)
I just want to know what’s in there. I
mean, it cost this little dumbass two fingers
to find out and you’re not even curious?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Didn’t you
ever ask yourself the same question when you
were little? How many balls were rattling
around inside spray-paint cans when you were
shaking one and getting ready to vandalize
something? They had to be balls, sure. But
how big are they? What are they made out of?
Ask them while we got the chance...

Ignoring Rick, Jack starts walking the boy to the ambulance.

JACK
(to the mother)
I’m going to need you to follow us to-

MOTHER
I don’t have that kind of gas.

Rick steps in front of them.

RICK
Which tree did the kite get stuck in?
I’d like to touch it...

The doors on the back of the ambulance slam shut and Jack
starts to pull away with the hideous broken siren blaring.
Rick has to run to jump in.

INT. AMBULANCE - SAME DAY

Rick and Jack are weaving the ambulance through traffic. Rick
is driving, Jack is flipping through his wallet counting
change and an old man is crouched down between their seats.
The broken siren is off and there is no sense of urgency.

JACK
Sir. Why don’t you climb back onto the
gurney, Please. I’m trying to budget
my lunch.

OLD MAN
I’m fine, my legs are strong, I won’t fall
over. I just want to look out the window.
There’s none in the back.

RICK
(turning around)
That’s because most people who ride back
there are actually hurt and not sightseeing.
Climb back on the gurney, right now.

OLD MAN
(not moving, repeating himself)
I’m fine up here, don’t you worry about me.
I just want to look out a window. There
ain’t no windows in the back of this thing.
When you going to get around to fixin’ that?

RICK
(mumbling)
Yeah, we’ll get right on that for you. If
it’s one thing we need back there it’s windows
so people like you, who know the routes, who
know the insurance, who continue to use us as
a free taxi service, can be more comfortable
while we haul your wrinkled ass around.

OLD MAN
‘Scuse me?

RICK
(louder)
You heard me. How many times have we
driven you to the hospital so you can walk
right past the fucking front door.

JACK
Relax, Rick. Who gives a fuck? He ain’t
hurting anyone.

OLD MAN
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
I’ve got a chronic pain-

RICK
-in my ass. Don’t give me that shit. Look
at you. You know what I can’t help but notice?
You’re happy right now, in spite of anything
I say to you, because you’re getting something
for free. You remind me of those crack-heads
who have twenty surgeries a year to get the
painkillers. You want to figure out which
ones are in the waiting rooms to get that shit?
Just look for the ones that are talking to the
fish tank. The ones that are happy to be there.

JACK
Just drive, dude-

RICK
You’d think they were in line for a
rollercoaster instead of waiting to endure
a thumb up their ass for drugs.

OLD MAN
I never had a thumb up my-

JACK
Enough.

RICK
No, I know this guy. I watched him the last
time he called us. He turned right around
at the emergency room doors and went to the
leather shop a block over.

OLD MAN
Huh?

RICK
He was getting the buckle fixed on his
Civil War belt. He’s wearing it right now.
I seriously doubt his broken belt buckle had
anything to do with his “chest pains.”

JACK
How do you know that he was getting a
belt fixed?

RICK
Because I went in there after him and acted
like I was his grandson. I had to pay for
the repair to get the information. So I
walked out the door and snapped the tooth off
and took it back in again so he wouldn’t know.

OLD MAN
Son, is there something wrong with you?

JACK
Did you do all this when you said you
were taking a shit last Thursday?

RICK
Probably.

JACK
Just drive, dude, still gotta go there, remember?

RICK
Fuck that. Maybe we have to go there, sure,
but we could’ve been carrying some kid with
his head caught in a lawnmower instead of
this worthless piece of shit.

OLD MAN
You can’t fit a lawnmower back there...
unless you had some windows you could open-

JACK
Shut the fuck up.

EXT. ROAD SIDE - SAME DAY

Rick and Jack are running up on a car wreck with two
bloody-nosed drivers engaged in a road-rage fist-fight. They
approach the fight with their gear but a cop waves them back
while he runs in to break it up. Both men show no signs of
injury. Jack stands to watch the fight but Rick turns to go.

RICK
C’mon There’s got to be another accident
somewhere.

JACK
Who do you think you are, Batman? You’re
all serious like, “there’s got to be a crime
somewhere.” We ain’t done here yet.

RICK
Let’s go, we’re on the border of three
hospitals. There’s probably two more trucks
on the way and they don’t even need one.

JACK
It doesn’t work like that and you know it.
What’s your fucking hurry?

Rick looks back at the fight, one man makes another lunge
toward each other while the cop holds them apart and talks
into the radio on his shoulder. Sirens grow in the distance.

RICK
(cocking a thumb at the fight)
If we fuck around here long enough, someone
will need to go to the hospital, and there’s
nothing I need from them. Waste of my time.

JACK
What?

RICK
Seriously, I’ll owe you one, okay? Hear the
siren? The cop didn’t even see us. Please,
let’s just fucking GO.

EXT. OVERGROWN FIELD - SAME DAY

Rick and Jack’s last stop is a dog mauling. They high-step
through the high weeds of a field to where a father and his
daughter are crouched. The shadow of a run-down house looms
over them all. Rick suddenly starts running full-speed toward
them. This is the first time Rick has shown a sense of
urgency on a call lately so Jack looks suspicious.

JACK
(jogging to catch up)
What’s going on? Is this what you’ve
been waiting for all goddamn day?

RICK
What are you talking about?
(stopping to squat down
by the daughter)
No idea what you’re talking about.
Keep your mind on the job, Jack.

JACK
(shaking his head in disgust)
Whatever asshole. Hey, how’d you know
my name was Jack?

Rick can’t help but smile at a joke he must have heard before.
They begin to tend to the girl’s wounds in an efficient
manner. At first Rick is all business, but eventually he
begins to slow down and study an arm here, a leg there, until
he’s stopped working on the injuries and is carefully
examining her fingernails as if he’s standing over a corpse on
an autopsy table. Suddenly he reaches down and starts to
unbuckle the girl’s belt. Jack looks over to see what he’s
doing and finally snaps. Before Rick even sees him moving
toward him, Jack has punched Rick square in the face. A roll
of gauze goes flying from Rick’s grip. It lands on a bush and
unspools like a high-school toilet-paper prank. Rick goes
down holding his nose but quickly stands back up.

RICK
Hey, you don’t understand-

Jack takes another swing but Rick ducks it. Rick comes back
with a left hook that knocks Jack back over his box of
equipment. Jack gets off the ground fast and runs toward
Rick, burying his head in his chest. Rick backpedals and they
both stumble over the crying girl on the ground. Rick’s
flailing foot accidentally kicks the girl in the head and
suddenly the father is in the fight. The father punches Rick
in the stomach doubling him over and knocking the wind out of
him. Then he turns on Jack and a solid uppercut takes Jack
off his feet and drops him on his back in the high weeds. The
father calmly picks up his daughter and starts walking toward
the ambulance while Rick and Jack sit dazed on the ground.

FATHER
Take us to the hospital right now. Hurry
the hell up or I’ll be driving with three
people bleeding in the back.

INT. AMBULANCE - LATER THAT NIGHT

Jack is driving and Rick is in the passenger seat. They are
bloody and bruised, silently brooding about their last stop.
The song, “San Jacinto” by Peter Gabriel is playing on Rick’s
portable cassette player. Finally Rick speaks and Jack blinks
long and slow in frustration.

RICK
What if I’m right. What if that girl had
been raped and it had gone bad?

Jack turns on the broken siren to drown out his partner’s
voice. Parts of Rick’s paranoid ramblings can still be heard
over the warbling siren and the song on the stereo.

SONG
“I hold the light...I hold the light...”

RICK
...and the rapist...he freaked out, maybe
he had to rub the dog’s face in it...
to punish himself? Or to punish the dog...

SONG
“...I hold the light...the light of
strength that guides me through
the fear...I hold the light...”

RICK
...he pulled out one of the dog’s teeth...
cut her throat with it to cover up....bet
the dog hates him now...bet it licks the
mailman but growls at him every morning...

SONG
“...I hold the light...I hold the light...”

Jack punches some knobs to turn off the radio and the siren.

JACK
Asshole. Listen to me. You are looking for
meaning where there is none. And tonight is
the last night I deal with your bullshit.

RICK
How can you say it means nothing? Everything
means something. I mean, I’ll admit that I
might be wrong about what something means but
I know I’m right when I say it means something.

JACK
What the fuck do you mean something?
(slams the brakes to keep
from back-ending a truck)
Motherfucker!

RICK
Relax.

JACK
Fuck you.
(angrily taps the windshield
with his finger)
See that truck you almost made me hit?
Check out all the clues. You’re the
detective! Tell me something about
that cocksucker that means something.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - THE TRUCK

The red pick-up truck in front of them has barb wire around
the license plate, a huge “No Fear” decal across the back
window, a bumper sticker that says “my kid beat up your honor
student,” glowing aquarium lights under the exhaust, a bloody
fake hand hanging from the trunk. And finally, a pair of
swinging metal testicles where the trailer hitch should be.

BACK TO SCENE

JACK
See that truck? Guess what? Don’t mean
shit. Except what we already know with our
own eyes. That the man is a fucking moron.

RICK
(nodding and pointing)
You’re right but you know what upsets
me? Why can’t THAT be the villain of
the story. It’s just not fair.

JACK
(almost to himself)
Missing the whole point...

RICK
What time is it?

JACK
Why?

RICK
Just get us back to the garage. I have
something to tell someone something.

JACK
What?

RICK
The answer to a question that’s three
years old.

JACK
Who?

RICK
(to himself)
Exactly.

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

A shadowy figure is crouched over the broken tree trunk where
Jacki crashed her car and Anthony was killed. A ring of green
seedlings are growing around the rim of the stump. The man
unzips his jeans and leans over the rainwater gathered in the
stump and starts masturbating. A splash of milky-white liquid
swirls around the water and he reaches into the stump to soak
his hands. Immediately the stumpwater turns red with blood.

EXT. JACKI’S HOUSE - NIGHT

Rick pulls into the driveway to Jacki’s house and quickly
jumps from his car. He practically runs to Jacki’s front door
and knocks. She opens the door dressed for bed in a flannel
shirt and no pants. She looks confused, unconsciously she
crosses her arms and looks defensive.

JACKI
What’s going on?

RICK
Can I talk to you?

JACKI
That’s what you’re doing. What’s the matter?

RICK
Can I come in? I need to tell you something.

JACKI
(after a moment)
I guess. We have to get up early tomorrow
though, so I need to get some sleep.

RICK
(stepping inside past her)
This won’t take long.

JACKI
I’m not trying to kick you out but I have to
go back to the hospital with Toni tomorrow.

RICK
Is she okay?

JACKI
(shaking her head)
Yeah, it’s nothing serious, she’s just
allergic to something and we can’t figure
out what it is.

RICK
(laughing)
It’s probably me. There. That’ll be three-
hundred dollars for the diagnosis, please.

JACKI
(smiling and relaxing her posture)
I wish it was that easy. I’ll tell you
what, I’m not ready for her to get any
more shots. I don’t like the way that
fucking doctor keeps sneaking up on her
to do it.

RICK
That is kinda weird. You’d think they’d
have that shit down to a science by now.

JACKI
Now I’m thinking I should just wait for her
to skin her knee playing outside and send a
scab in an envelope instead. Know what I
mean? Less traumatic that way. You know,
if I let her play past dusk, she always ends
up hurting herself. I’d rather do that
then go back.

RICK
(eyebrow up, cautious laugh)
Uhhh, I guess. It’s a little creepy letting
her play when it’s dark and hoping she gets
hurt. Little bizarre mailing your child’s
scabs. Might give her nightmares. Might
give me nightmares.

JACKI
(sitting down on the couch)
Maybe you’re right.

Rick sits down on the other end and starts cracking his
knuckles nervously. He picks up a small black-metal frame off
the coffee table and looks closely at the picture.

RICK
This isn’t a very good picture of you.

JACKI
(frowning)
That’s not me, that’s my mother.

RICK
(embarrassed)
I’m sorry. I don’t mean she’s ugly, it’s just-
she looks just like you. I was so confused
because that the picture looks old and-

JACKI
Forget it.
(eyes roll impatiently)
So what’s up?

RICK
(rambling)
You know, there’s probably a hundred ways you
could give Toni a shot in the arm without her
knowing what happened. If I was to think about
it long enough I could figure it out. I mean,
there’s hundreds of species of stinging insects
alone that could easily be caught and leashed-

JACKI
(interrupting)
What? Is this why you came over here?

RICK
I’m sorry. No. I’m here because I was there
three years ago when you crashed into that tree.

Jacki blinks and lets this information sink in.

JACKI
I’m listening.

RICK
Here’s the thing. I believe that you were the
victim of a serial rapist. I believe that you
were raped while you were lying unconscious after
that car crash. And I saw the evidence of that
rape when I pulled you out. And I decided to
cover up this evidence while I rode with you to
the hospital.

JACKI
(struggling to control her anger)
Why?

RICK
I don’t know. Because I thought I was given
this opportunity where you didn’t know what
had happened, where no one knew. And you had
all these other injuries and I thought, why
not make this one less thing to deal with?
Why not make the worst thing go away like it
never happened? I didn’t have the power to
save the man in the tree, and I didn’t have
the power to save the kid under the car the
day before that, and I didn’t have the power
to save the fucking cat in the sewer the day
before that, but with you I had the power to
go back in time and make it so you weren’t raped.

JACKI
(louder)
What the hell are you talking about? Just
because you write “Time Machine” on the side
of your ambulance doesn’t make it true you
fucking idiot. You didn’t stop anything.
How do you even think that you-

RICK
(quieter)
I never wrote “Time Machine” on anything.
And I did stop it. If you didn’t know that
it happened, then it didn’t happened. I mean,
I take it from the state of your boyfriend in
the tree that you were trying to drive and-

JACKI
Listen, that has nothing to do with anything-

RICK
I’m just saying, you had a bad night and I
thought that the worst thing that happened
to you was something I could make go away-

JACKI
(even louder)
What? Are you serious? You think that
a dick is worse than someone dying? Or
worse than getting crushed inside a car?
I think you’re giving that-
(looking at his crotch)
-thing too much credit. A rape is worse
than a car wreck? Please don’t confuse me
with this new generation of victims who wear
rape trauma like a badge of honor...

RICK
(hands up)
It’s not that, I just-

JACKI
You just nothing. All you did was something
that no one asked you to do. Worse than that,
you probably helped the fucker get away by
destroying all the evidence.

RICK
I just thought that-

JACKI
Just stop talking. You were wrong then
and you’re wrong now. You did nothing to
help me.

Jacki stands up and walks to the window. After a moment she
turns around slowly and looks at Rick as some kind of
revelation twists the expression on her face.

JACKI
It was you.

RICK
What?

JACKI
You raped me. That’s why you covered it up.

RICK
(shocked)
What? You’re nuts. All I did was try to-

JACKI
(through her teeth)
Think about it asshole. What’s more likely?
That you’re a one-time time-traveling
non-effective vigilante type? Or you were
fucking around with me on the side of the
road. Or in the back of your ambulance?

RICK
(backing up)
That’s not true. You should know that
it’s not really a one-time thing. And
these days it’s not just about you anymore...

JACKI
(voice picking up speed and volume)
You know what’s really scary? I believe you
that it’s not just me anymore. I believe you
that it’s not a one-time thing-

RICK
(hands out to her)
Listen. Don’t you get it? It was three years
ago this week. Toni’s fucking birthday.
(pause)
The rapist is your father. I mean her father.

JACKI
Shut up and get the fuck out.

Jacki walks towards him and Rick backs up a few more steps.

JACKI
Get.
(shoving him)
Out.

RICK
I’m sorry I did it. But it wasn’t just a
random thing. I did it ‘cause I saw you and-

JACKI
And what? You fell in love with a bloody
unconscious car-crash victim? How are you
not the rapist again? Tell me.

RICK
I’m sorry I thought I could make it so you
never knew, then maybe I could tell you one
day and you’d thank me.

JACKI
(low voice)
Listen to me very carefully. I know I was
raped. I knew it before you said it. I
know it now. I knew it back then. I wasn’t
unconscious the whole time...

INT. THE FIRST CAR CRASH - FLASHBACK

Jacki is naked from the waist down, back arched against a
steering wheel and riding a young man in the driver’s seat.
They are racing down a road flanked by trees. Both windows
are down and the night air ripples their hair and clothes.
The song “Passenger” by the band The Deftones plays loud while
they have sex.

JACKI (VO)
It was a year ago tonight...

RICK (VO)
Actually, it was three years ago-

JACKI (VO)
Quiet. It sounds better if it’s
“a year ago tonight.” Anyway...

Jacki looks down at the driver. His face signals an
approaching orgasm.

SONG
“Drive faster, roll the windows down.
This cool night air is curious.
Let the whole world look in.
Who cares who sees anything...”

JACKI (VO)
He was distracted because he was coming,
I was distracted because I knew that meant
I wasn’t going to be able to come...

Jacki frowns in disappointment as he finishes before her.
Then she sees the driver’s eyes widen in horror and he shoves
her off the steering wheel and into the passenger’s seat. The
car flies off the road and crashes into a tree. Jacki is
thrown forward and squeezed into the wreckage of the vehicle,
her life saved by the crumbled car seat that engulfs her body.

JACKI (VO)
I felt the car collapse around me like
someone was squeezing the car in their fist.
The last thing I saw was him taking flight...

The boy’s naked body rockets past Jacki’s eyes in slow motion
and bursts through the windshield. He seems to go straight up
into the sky as if he’s flying.

JACKI (VO)
It sounds crazy but I remember thinking,
just for a second, “does he have an ejector
seat?” Then I blacked out.

The hissing wreck rocks back and forth against a cracked tree
trunk, a small fire burns near the back tires, one front wheel
is still spinning. A dog can be heard in the distance.

JACKI (VO)
I remember someone pulling me out, I remember
thinking, “why did the paramedics bring a dog?”

RICK (VO)
We didn’t get there first-

JACKI (VO)
Quiet.

An arm reaches into the wreckage and Jacki squints through the
smoke to see the shadow of a man pulling the crushed passenger
seat off her torso.

JACKI (VO)
At first I was grateful...

The figure carries her from the wreckage. Jacki hangs limp
across a pair of shoulders, one eye opens and she looks back
at the growing fire under the car. She raises her head up
high enough to glimpse legs dangling from a tree, blue jeans
bundled around the ankles. She sees a large dog suddenly run
up and jump to snap at the jeans. The dog gets and looses its
grip and the limbs of the tree rebound. The naked body snaps
into a strange twisted position, arms and legs high toward the
sky. Then there’s nothing but darkness.

JACKI (VO)
That’s when I blacked out. But I wasn’t out
for very long. The car hadn’t exploded yet...

She opens her eyes and through her blurred vision she sees the
dog still trying to grab the blue jeans off the ankles of the
dead man in the tree. Then she looks down to see the shadowy
figure pulling down her own blue jeans.

SERIES OF SHOTS:

-- The figure struggles to pull her pants off.

-- The dog jumps higher and almost snags the corpses feet.

-- The figure grows more frustrated and pulls harder.

-- The dog jumps even higher.

-- The figure is unable to pull her pants over her hips.

-- The dog finally jumps high enough, gets a good grip on the
jeans and yanks them off the corpse.

-- Jacki carefully puts the palms of her hands down on the
ground for leverage, then slowly lifts her rear off the ground
so that the man can easily remove her jeans.

-- Her blue jeans fly over his shoulder to catch and sway on
some cattails in a nearby ditch. Then the car explodes.

JACKI (VO)
I realized that I owed him for saving my
life. If he hadn’t come along, I would be
dead. I know what that sounds like but it’s
the truth. I can admit that to you. Or to
anyone who asks. It’s just that simple. I
was grateful enough to give him what he wanted.

The man stops to watch the burning car. Jacki is sitting up
now too, also hypnotized by the flames in the wreckage. She
turns to look at the man in the light of the fire but she
can’t see anything but orange and red fire in his eyes. She
leans forward and embraces him.

FADE OUT

BACK TO SCENE

INT. JACKI’S HOUSE - NIGHT

Jacki is standing silent at a window, her story finally told.
Rick is looking at her in disbelief. She turns to look at him
and shrugs her shoulders.

JACKI
I was in and out of consciousness but I
know it was you. I remember you there. I
know you held me next to the fire.

RICK
Jacki, the fire was out when I got there.
There was someone else. Yes, I was holding
you. Someone else pulled you from the car.

JACKI
(turning away)
I don’t believe you. Or maybe I don’t care.

Rick reaches for the picture of her mother again.

RICK
What do you remember about your mother?

JACKI
(thinking hard)
Uhhh. Not much.
(casually)
She was raped.

RICK
(still staring at the picture)
What?

JACKI
(amused)
That’s how I was conceived actually. At least
that’s what my dad believed. She was attacked
down by the ocean. Under a pier. The rapist
pretended he was blind and she was helping him.
She took him by the arm to show him the water.
(walking toward the door)
“Conceived.” Isn’t that a great word?
It tells you everything you need to know-

RICK
Wait-

JACKI
(cutting him off)
The thing is, I can accept that that is
how I was conceived. But I’ll never accept
that’s how my daughter was conceived.

She walks past him to her television. On the screen a man is
cutting down a tree with a chainsaw. Jackie reaches out and
turns down the sound just as a tree comes crashing down.

JACKI
You know what, Rick? I think you need to
get the fuck out of my life.

RICK
What?! Why? I just-

JACKI
I’ll be honest, the only thing more disturbing
than wondering if you might have raped me in
a car wreck three years ago, is wondering if
you saved me from one. I don’t want to
owe anyone anything. Revenge, hate, guardian
angels, I just have no time for any of that
bullshit right now. I don’t need any of it...

She trails off, noticing that Rick isn’t listening. He walks
toward a picture on the wall and reaches for another photo.

RICK
(tapping the glass frame)
Now this is a good picture of you.

JACKI
(frustrated)
What? I told you. That’s my mother.
(points to the first picture)
And that’s my mother.
(points down the hall)
And over there...that’s her too.

Rick is frozen, mouth slack. He is realizing something
horrible.

RICK
(quietly)
Hold on. Your mother was raped too?

JACKI
I already told you she was. What?

Rick reaches out to brace himself against the wall. He is
floored by this information and something he sees in these
pictures of Jacki’s mother. His mouth moves silently as he
seems to be putting something together in his head.

RICK
(slowly holds his hand out)
Listen to me now. I came here tonight to
tell you that I believe the same man who
raped you three years ago has never stopped.
I came here to tell you that I believe that he
chooses his victims ‘cause they fit a certain
description, And I was going to tell you that,
not only do you fit this description, it’s was
you that he started with. You’re the prototype.
That’s what I was going to say. Until I saw
those pictures...

Jacki backs away from him.

RICK
...but now I think it goes back farther than
that. I think he followed you for a long time.
And it’s because you remind him of someone else.
(stabs the hanging picture with his thumb)
You remind him of her...

JACKI
(hand on the doorknob)
I think you should go-

RICK
(grabbing her arm)
No! Listen. This man raped your mother down
at that pier. Then she had you. And he raped
you after the wreck. Then you had her...

JACKI
(struggling)
Let go-

RICK
Listen to me. I’m telling you that this man
is your father. And I’m saying that this man
is the father of your daughter. And I’m saying
that he’s going to stay in your life until
Toni is old enough, wait for her to get stuck
under a car or stuck under a ‘fridge or stuck
in a fucking revolving door and then-

JACKI
(breaking free)
Get out!

RICK
I’m serious. Think about this, what if
he’s been part of your family for longer
than that? Wait, do you have any pictures
of your grandma?

Jacki throws a half-swing half-shove at Rick’s face and he
ducks around it, staring at her in disbelief.

RICK
(gently, backing up)
Whoa. Settle down. I’m trying to help here-

JACKI
(moving toward him)
I told you to leave. I don’t want to hear
any more of your theories. Don’t you realize
that you’re the suspect in every new crime
that comes out of your fucking mouth? You
are the most suspicious man in my life. I’m
thinking that you sleep in my garbage can and
alphabetize my trash at night looking for clues.
Are you that fucking stupid? You tell me you
were there that night, you tell me you had your
hands on me-

RICK
(back up against the door)
No. My hand was on you because his hand was
on you. That night, you had a five-fingered
hand print on your leg and when I saw it I
knew someone had-

JACKI
Go.

RICK
You never saw it because I made it go away.
I’ll admit I put my hand over that hand print
and I squeezed your leg even harder. I turned
that bruise into nothing so you wouldn’t see
it, I turned it into a Rorschach Test, into
something that only I could see, just another
bruise on your legs. I did that for you-

JACKI
(shoves him aside and
opens the door)
Go or I’m calling the cops.

RICK
(suddenly angry)
You know, you don’t make any sense to me.
You tell me to fuck off because you think
I’m the man that raped you, yet you tell
me that you owe him your life.

JACKI
(holding the door)
That’s my problem, not yours.

Rick walks out and Jacki closes the door behind him.

INT. JACKI’S HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT

A phone is ringing on the kitchen wall. Jacki stumbles out of
her bedroom to answer it. Her head sinks in exhaustion when
she realizes it’s Rick. She walks in circles in her dark
kitchen and lets Rick’s voice fill her head.

RICK (V.O.)
...he covers them up perfectly, maybe
using the same methods I did in the back
of the ambulance that night...

Jacki stops in front of her refrigerator and touches the
collage of magnets, family photos, recipes and her daughter’s
drawings. One of her Toni’s drawings is a purple crayon
outline of Toni, her mother and her grandmother. The
scribbling is titled “Meme, Mama & Mumu.” Her hand stops to
flick at the corner of an old photo of Jacki and her father.

RICK (V.O.)
...maybe your dad was right, maybe this
man was her father and your father and
her father and...

Her hand lingers on a picture of her mother.

RICK (V.O.)
...maybe I was trying to rescue you from
the truth back then, but now I’m just trying
to stop him...if this guy has been in your
life for two generations then what stops him
from going for three...

Her hand brushes her daughter’s drawing of a snarling dog.

RICK (V.O.)
...what if he goes after her next...

Jacki flicks the edge of a Thanksgiving turkey that her
daughter created from the outline of her hand. Jacki puts her
shaking hand over top of her daughter’s cardboard hand.
Jacki’s hand isn’t much bigger.

INSERT - INT. AMBULANCE - FLASHBACK

There is a flash of Rick’s hand from the night of the first
car crash. Rick is placing his hand over the black and blue
handprint rising on Jacki’s stomach. His hand fits perfectly
inside the outline. Suddenly his hand starts squeezing her
stomach hard and her skin turns purple and white.

BACK TO SCENE

INSERT - CLOSE UP - HAND OUTLINE TURKEY ON REFRIGERATOR

Jacki’s hand tightens around the construction paper turkey.

RICK (V.O.)
...maybe you’ve accepted what happened back
then and decided that your life was worth
whatever you had to endure and I’m sorry if
I’m making it impossible to forget...and
there’s these strange dog bites everywhere
now...maybe now this man is killing instead
of raping, using his dog to cover it up...

Jacki suddenly squeezes the turkey drawing and destroys it.

RICK (V.O.)
...chopping down his own family tree...

BACK TO SCENE

Jacki sits down on the floor of the dark kitchen, head down,
phone against her head.

RICK (V.O.)
...maybe you’re thinking that it’s too much
of a coincidence, to know all of these things
and not be the villain. I swear it’s true,
though. Listen, this kind of shit surrounds
me. All my life I’ve dealt with irony and
coincidence and synchronicity and bad luck.
You know those two apartments that you saw?
Here’s another crazy apartment story for you.
One time I met this girl and we went back to
her apartment and we watched some shitty movie
and fucked around and as the sun was coming
up and the alcohol was wearing off, I looked
around and suddenly realized where I was.
You know where I was? I was in an apartment
that I’d lived in ten years before. How about
that shit? I knew I was in the same building
when we pulled in, I even said something to
her about it. But I didn’t know it was the
exact same apartment. And when I realized it
was the same place, that I was lying in the
same corner of the room I slept in ten years
before, that I was staring at the same water
tower out the window that I stared at ten
years before, I told her about it all excited.
And she wouldn’t believe me. Actually, no one
would believe me. I ended up stealing one of
her magazines from behind her toilet to get
the mailing label off of it. Then I made a
photocopy of one of my old tax forms with
that old address on it and e-mailed the proof
to everyone who doubted me. Then I started
to worry she'd think I was stealing her mail
for some other strange reason and I burned
the magazine in a panic. Then I worried that
someone would know I was burning her magazines
so I stole one of her candles to cover the
smell. And you know what happened, after all
that? Everyone started saying that if I did
live there before, I must be some kind of
apartment stalker. Like I was tying to meet
someone who lived there after me. Like I
could pretend I was psychic by mapping out
the layout or walking around with my eyes
closed without bumping the walls. She ended
up breaking up with me because her roommate
thought that I’d been watching the building
for ten years waiting for my change to get
back in there for some ominous reason. Maybe
I had a something stashed under the radiator
or something, she said. Maybe something
horrible happened there, she said. I tried
to explain that the worst thing I ever did
in there was punching through a wall because
an ex-girlfriend put up a stupid Green Day
poster. Or did she put up the poster to
cover the hole? I can’t remember. I just
know I wasn’t stalking anyone or anywhere.
Of course now that she’s gone, I’m wondering
who lives there, just like they all said.
And maybe it wouldn’t be too insane to figure
out a way to bump into them or get inside...

Jacki lies down on the floor, setting the phone next to her
head. She closes her eyes, Rick’s manic voice muffled but
still echoing around her skull.

RICK (V.O.)
...so here’s my plan, the dog is the key.
He’s using the dog to cover up the crime
scenes...I’m not sure how, I just know there
can’t be this many dog bites and maulings
this year. I’m telling you, if we find the
dog, we find the killer. The dog will give
him up in a second. You think a man is a
dog’s best friend? Wrong. How does the
saying go? A diamond is a girl’s best
friend, a brick is a vandal’s best friend,
and a tree is a dog’s best friend...

INT. JACKI’S HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT

Jacki sits on the floor, the phone by her leg. The sickly
blue glow of the TV screen lights the room. “Chinatown” is
on. She watches the screen, not really paying attention,
until the movie comes to the scene where the Faye Dunaway
character starts getting slapped by Jack Nicholson. Jacki
frowns and picks up a nearby remote control to turn up the
volume to hear what the characters are screaming about.

MOVIE
‘She’s my daughter!’ SLAP! ‘I said I want the
truth!’ ‘She’s my sister!’ SLAP! ‘She’s my
daughter!’ SLAP! ‘My sister!’ SLAP! ‘My
daughter!’ SLAP! ‘I said I want the truth!’
CRASH! ‘She’s my daughter and my sister!’

Jacki stands up and walks to the doormat to put on her shoes.

INT. RICK’S APARTMENT BUILDING - SAME NIGHT

Jacki walks down the hall and knocks on the door of the
apartment that Rick shares with the other medical students.
The girl who was chomping ice cubes earlier answers. This
time she’s loudly chewing gum around her words.

GUM GIRL
(gum smacking)
He’s not here.

JACKI
Is he ever here?

GUM GIRL
Sometimes.
(pauses to crack her gum)
What? You don’t believe me?

The girl opens the door wide so that she can look past her.
Jacki looks inside and she frowns as she notices something.

JACKI
Is this a one-bedroom or a two-bedroom apartment?

GUM GIRL
(blows a bubble and chews it up)
Two bedrooms. Same as every apartment in the
building. Same dimensions as a prison. Why?

JACKI
I don’t know, I just thought this apartment
was bigger...or smaller...I can’t remember...
(backing up and turning away)
Never mind. Thanks.

The door closes behind her and she quickly walks to the other
apartment across the hall. She knocks on the door and waits.
When no one answers, she turns the knob to find it unlocked.
She steps inside and walks around. She opens some doors and
see that it also has two-bedrooms and is exactly the same size
as the other apartment. She steps inside the second bedroom
and turn on the light. Laid out on the bed are medical
charts, an EMS flip-chart and several guides to dog breeds.
She opens the closet and looks inside. On the back of the
closet door are rows and rows of photographs of young,
attractive dark-skinned women asleep in hospital beds. All of
the faces have red X’s through them, except for one in the
middle. Jacki looks closer and sees that this photo is of
her, curled up in the car crash three years ago.

CUT TO:

EXT. CRASH SITE - SAME NIGHT

Jacki stands over a tree-stump with a flashlight. There’s a
ring of plants growing around the broken edge of the stump.
She leans down with her flashlight in her mouth and touches
one. It moves and she jumps back in shock. She leans down
again and sees that they’re young Venus Flytraps, open wide
and waiting for something to catch. She notices that one is
closed. She takes the flashlight from her mouth and puts it
behind the plant. The flytrap glows red from the light and a
dark spot is visible inside. She looks closer.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - VENUS FLY TRAP

Inside the glowing red plant, the outline of a fly can be
seen. The fly twitches. Jacki screams.

BACK TO SCENE

Jacki stumbles back and almost falls down. As she sits on the
ground to calm herself, she puts the flashlight behind her own
hand to watch it glow red. She smiles as she realizes that
she’s looking for a dark spot twitching inside of her.

INT. RICK’S CAR - SAME NIGHT

Rick is driving home. He looks frantic and nervous. The Jeff
Buckley song, “The Sky Is A Landfill” plays on his stereo.

SONG
“You sing in praise of suicide,
we know that you’re useless,
like cops at the scene of a crime...”

Suddenly he slams on his brakes and swerves to stop at the
bottom of a grassy hill. A man pushing a lawnmower is coming
down the hill very quickly and he slides to a stop and turns
off the motor looking confused. Rick leans out the driver’s
window, waving to the man and shaking his head.

RICK
I’m sorry, I thought that was a baby
carriage, I thought you were outta control.

The man wipes sweat off his face, glancing at his lawnmower
then back at Rick.

MAN
Uhhh, no. This ain’t no baby stroller,
chief. I was just running to finish this
hill before it gets dark, my man.

RICK
Sorry. My fault. Sorry to scare ya.

The man smiles and reaches down for the starter cord. He sees
Rick still staring.

MAN
Don’t worry, chief. This ain’t an umbilical cord.

He pulls the cord hard and the lawnmower starts back up with a roar. Rick pulls away embarrassed. He changes stations on the radio until he finds an obnoxious DJ reading the weather.

RADIO DJ
(talking over a rock beat)
...there’s a sun delay on I-65 heading north...

RICK
(to the radio)
What the fuck?

He ducks down to squint through the windshield at the sky. It is gray and overcast.

RICK
(panic in his voice)
"Sun delay?" What the fuck does that mean?
Is the sun not coming out today? How freaky
is that shit? Is that even possible...

RADIO DJ
...so be careful rush hour drivers, if
the sun is in your eyes, take it slow...

RICK
(even more embarrassed)
Oh.

Rick switches stations. Peter Gabriel’s song "The Rhythm of the Heat" is playing. Rick frowns and turns off the stereo.

EXT. EMERGENCY ENTRANCE - NIGHT

Rick walks through the emergency entrance door looking tired.
He sees the two Mikes leaning against a wall in the middle of
a loud conversation and he walks over.

LITTLE MIKE
...that’s where the phrase, “you can’t
teach a DEAD dog new tricks” comes from-

RICK
(interrupting)
What’s up, men. You seen Jack?

LITTLE MIKE
Ain’t my turn to watch him. You
early for once?

RICK
(rubbing his head)
No, I just couldn’t remember if we were on
or off tonight. I’ve been getting my
schedule screwed up lately.

BIG MIKE
Haven’t seen Jack around.

LITTLE MIKE
Hey, I’ll go with you. All you need is a
getaway driver, right? You can do all
the nasty stuff in the back.

RICK
No thanks. What the hell are you guys
doing in here anyway? Don’t you have
your own hospital to lean against...

Rick trails off as he notices Derek, the janitor, who is
working on a blood stain in the corner. Big Mike turns to see
who Rick is staring at.

BIG MIKE
That’s right, take a good look. You
could end up just like him.

RICK
What do you mean?

LITTLE MIKE
(to Big Mike)
He used to work here too, didn’t he?
Didn’t he used to be a-

Derek walks over and everyone stops talking. Derek finishes
Little Mike’s sentence for him.

DEREK
Used to be one of you. That’s right. I’m
a motherfuckin’ cautionary tale. It was
back when things were different. They only
needed one of me for every two of you assholes.

LITTLE MIKE
Bullshit-

DEREK
No bullshit. There was only one medic per
vehicle, instead of a “pair” of them like
ya got now.

Little Mike turns to Big Mike and rolls his eyes at the joke.

DEREK
I’m telling ya. It was hard back then, you
had to do it all. Give ‘em mouth-to-mouth,
check the uh, blood pressure, play with the
sirens, used black tape instead of band-aids,
all the while driving with our knees. It was
a bitch, I’m tellin’ ya. You ever see one of
those street musicians playing the guitar with
one hand, a tambourine with the other hand,
a drum with his knee-caps, and a harmonica
strapped to the front of his head like the
mouth-guard on a football helmet? That was
me. And the ambulance was a lot smaller.
Had a side-car like a motorcycle when someone
died on the way there. Yep, it was a juggling
act back then, that’s for sure.

RICK
You’re so full of shit. You never were no
paramedic. I remember your first day. It
was three years ago. You were walking into
the wrong rooms, bumping into shit. I thought
you were drunk. It took a week before I
realized you worked here. Twice I tried to
put you on a gurney.

DEREK
Fuck you.

Derek dismisses Rick with a disgusted laugh and wanders off
smiling. Rick watches him go, lost in thought. After a
minute Big Mike smacks Rick’s shoulder to get his attention.

BIG MIKE
Wake up.

LITTLE MIKE
(to Big Mike)
So I bet the guy, how much to make a
dead dog shit?

RICK
(interrupting)
You know what? I need to tell you two
something, despite the subject matter of
your conversations, you two clowns inspire
me. For some reason that I’m sure is my
fault, I find your babbling ripe with
symbolism that usually applies to whatever
I’m dealing with. Except today. What the
fuck are you possibly talking about?
(walks away)
Forget it.

LITTLE MIKE
Hey! They can’t all be gold!
(turning back to Big Mike)
So I’m knuckle deep in this Rottweiler’s
ass right...

RICK
(over his shoulder)
Hey, tell Jack if you see him, will ya?

BIG MIKE
Outta gas, eh?

RICK
I’m just not up for it tonight.

BIG MIKE
Why not?

RICK
Didn’t you listen to the radio?

BIG MIKE
No.

RICK
The sun didn’t come up today.

Rick walks through the automatic doors to go home.

LITTLE MIKE
(after a minute of silence)
Anyway, like I said, you can’t teach
a dead dog new tricks-

BIG MIKE
That ain’t how it goes. It goes, “you
can’t teach an old dead dog new tricks.”

INT. RICK’S EMPTY APARTMENT - SAME NIGHT

Rick is sitting in the hunting chair in the middle of the
empty living room. He reaches down to extend the foot rest
and leans back to reminisce.

INT. RICK’S FIRST APARTMENT - FLASHBACK

Rick and some other medical students are having a party. Nick
Cave’s song, “Messiah Ward,” is playing. Two guys are on the
couch taking turns on “Grand Theft Auto-Vice City.” In the
corner two girls are angrily talking over their folded arms.

SONG
“...they keep bringing out the dead now,
and it’s easy just to look away. They’re
bringing out the dead now, and it’s been
a strange strange day...”

Suddenly there’s a heavy knock on the door. Rick gets up to
answer it while the guy playing the videogame tucks a small
bag of weed into his pocket. Rick opens the door and several
police officers and a SWAT team quickly enter. A man with a
sniper rifle closes the door quietly. One of the officers
puts a hand on Rick’s shoulder while several of the cops walk
around, studying the walls of all the immediate rooms.

OFFICER
We need to map out your apartment.

RICK
What? Why?

OFFICER
There’s a potential suicide across the
hall and we need to know how the apartment
is laid out in case we have to go in fast.

RICK
Why do you-

OFFICER
All the apartments in this building are
identical. Please, this won’t take long.

Rick steps back and holds his arms out and hands up in a “go
ahead” gesture. The SWAT team quickly spreads out, some of
them pointing to windows and walls, one of them writing down
diagrams in a notebook. The officer that talked to Rick stops
to look at the videogame on the screen.

OFFICER
(disgusted)
I hope you get inspired to run around my
street with a chainsaw in your underwear.
Watch what happens.

RICK
(sitting down)
Uh, okay.
(whispering to a guy on the couch)
Did he just say I had a “chainsaw in my
underwear...”


The officer glares at him then walks off. After they map out
Rick’s place, three of the SWAT team stand in the middle of
the room to practice grabbing and subduing each other over and
over. The people at the party watch with confused half-smiles
until one of the officers answers a call on his radio and they
gather their gear and quickly walk out.

RICK
(laughing)
What the fuck was that all about?

People are laughing and a couple guys get up from the couch to
imitate the SWAT guys practicing their maneuvers. While
everyone laughs and heads for the windows, Rick walks to the
front door and reaches for the lock. Before he locks it, a
gunshot rings out that only Rick seems to hear. He puts a
hand on his door as the music gets turned back up and the
party resumes.

SONG
“It’s been a strange strange day...”

INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY - LATER THAT NIGHT

Rick is standing in front of a door covered in a spiderweb of
yellow police crime-scene tape. Rick checks the door and
finds it unlocked. He slowly turns the doorknob and steps
through the yellow tape as if it isn’t there. The tape snaps
and breaks and flutters to the ground around his feet as he
enters the apartment. It’s completely empty except for a
television with a broken screen sitting on a milk crate. In
the broken glass of the television, Rick sees a girl from the
party standing behind him. He turns and she’s gone. Rick’s
foot bumps against a rolled-up canvas bundle resembling a
small child’s sleeping bag. He picks it up, then holds it on
his shoulder like a weapon. Something rattles in inside. He
turns it around in his hands and some letters are visible.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - THE BAG

Large white stenciled letters read:

“S. W. A. T.”

BACK TO SCENE

Rick reaches inside and pulls out a jumble of metal rods and
crumpled canvas material. He pushes and pulls on the puzzle
and suddenly a chair springs into shape in his hands. He puts
the chair in the center of the room and stands looking at it.

FADE OUT

INT. SAME APARTMENT - PRESENT DAY

Rick is sitting in the collapsible chair in the middle of the
empty apartment. The word “S.W.A.T.” on the bag has been
altered with masking tape to read “T.W.A.T.” He stands up and
opens a closet door. On the floor of the closet are several
hospital charts and files with allergy test results, blood
test results and paternity test results. And stuck to the
inside of the door are photographs of about 20 dark-skinned
woman sleeping in hospital beds. One of them is Jacki. All
of the faces have X’s through them, except for Jacki’s. There
are two spaces where two photos seem to be missing. Rick
touches the spaces with a confused angry expression. He
quickly stands and walks out of the door over to his other
apartment. He walks to his kitchen and puts some soup in the
microwave then puts four pieces of bread in the toaster and
two more on top. The girl that was chewing ice cubes comes
out of one of the bedrooms rubbing her eyes with a lathered
toothbrush sticking out of her mouth.

ICE GIRL
(talking around toothpaste foam)
You still live here?

RICK
(staring at the toaster)
Sort of.

The girl walks over to a pile of envelopes on the top of the
refrigerator and grabs a handful.

ICE GIRL
(loudly chewing on the
end of her toothbrush)
Here. Your mail is piling up.

RICK
(still staring at the toaster)
Thanks.

ICE GIRL
Aren’t you going to look at it?

RICK
(still staring)
Nope.

ICE GIRL
Well, maybe you should. Besides not paying
shit on any of the bills here, it seems
that you owe money across the hall too.

The toast pops up and Rick looks at her startled by what she
said. He takes a piece and begins to chew on the corner.

ICE GIRL
(spits into the sink)
Yeah. No wonder you aren’t paying us. We
thought you were squatting over there but the
landlord stopped by and said he talked to the
bank and, based on the credit card number you
gave to hold that apartment, he figured out
you’ve been using different credit cards and
different names to keep a hold on that apartment,
then you keep backing out at the last minute.
He said you’re doing it to keep it empty but if
you’re never going to move in, or move out,
or move ON or whatever the fuck you’re doing,
everyone wants to know exactly what the hell
you’re doing. So what is it? You building a
mountain out of chicken wire and mashed potatoes?
You got poetry all over the walls? Heads in the
freezer? One of those serial killer shrines with
newspaper clippings and candles and your third-
grade girlfriend? No?

RICK
Whatever. Hey, thanks for fixing the name on
my bag. The letters were starting to fade.

She smiles and stands there with her hands on her hips. Rick
walks past her to the refrigerator and slaps the bills back on
top. Several books on dog breeds and field guides to trees
and plants are also stacked up there. Still looking at her,
he reaches into the freezer and takes an ice cube out of the
tray and starts chewing on it. The girl shakes her head, puts
her toothbrush behind her ear, then grabs her own ice cube.
She smiles and walks into the living room to turn on the TV.
The lumberjack championship is on again. Rick laughs.

RICK
(crunching ice)
Holy crap, this shit has been on all week.
how the fuck do you win? Does anyone win?

On the screen two women are standing on logs and furiously
chopping through the wood under their shoes. The girl looks.

ICE GIRL
How come they don’t hit their own feet?

RICK
Look at you. Figure if you watch long
enough, you’ll see someone loose a limb?

ICE GIRL
(swallowing)
What the fuck do you care?

RICK
You’re watching it for the wrong reasons-

ICE GIRL
(laughing loudly)
What? I’m watching the lumberjack contest
“for the wrong reasons?” And what are the
right reasons? You sound like those assholes
that defend Nascar by saying, “don’t watch if
you’re just waiting for a wreck ‘cause you
don’t deserve to be a fan!” Listen to you.
You’re all like, “don’t watch if your just
waiting for an ax through the toe, you’re
not a real lumberjack tournament fan! Dude,
you’re such a psycho. Wait, wait. Tell me,
what are the right reasons to watch this?

Rick stares at the action on the TV. The women swing their
axes faster and faster. Rick doesn’t hear the sound of the
television, or the girl, anymore. Eventually the motion of
their chopping on the TV screen becomes too blurry to follow.
The girl changes channels and Rick snaps back to reality. She
puts the TV on the animal channel. On the screen there are
three dogs running on logs in a swimming pool and a backwoods-
looking audience cheering them on. Rick closes his eyes.

RICK
Madness.

EXT. AMUSEMENT PARK - NIGHT

Jacki is sitting in the dark, inside one of the fake Model-T
cars on the amusement park ride they rode on Toni’s birthday.
She reaches into her purse and takes out two flashlights,
placing them on the ends of the wooden dashboard. She clicks
them on to simulate headlights. She’s stares into the
flashlight beams cutting through the dark until Rick suddenly
appears in front of the car walking quickly towards her.

RICK
(squinting, leaning in the window)
What are you doing here?

JACKI
(startled)
How did you find me?

RICK
I asked first.

JACKI
I came here to be alone.

RICK
(opening the door to climb inside)
Me too!
(touches one of the flashlights)
Cool. I actually thought you were going
to drive away in this thing for a second.
So what are you doing with-

JACKI
(sliding away from him)
Just leave them alone, okay.
You can sit here if you don’t-

RICK
Listen. I know you don’t trust me, but
I need you to hear this. I think that
there is a serial rapist out there and
he’s both you and your father’s daughter,
I mean you and your daughter’s fath-

JACKI
Stop. Just stop. You can sit here if you
stop talking about my life.

RICK
Fine.
(pause)
Okay, I’m all wound up though. How about I
talk about me instead? Okay, here’s a story
about me. My last girlfriend and I were driving
one night and, while she was screwing around
with the knobs on the radio, she hit a dog. I
got out and saw the dog limping away, broken
leg twisted all wrong and flapping around behind
it. And when I got back in the car, she asked
me if it was dead. I said no. Then she asked
me if it was hurt. I lied and said it was fine.
To this day I still haven’t told her about that
broken leg. I was thinking about writing a
short story about someone writing a short story
about it so that I could at least, on some level,
confess. Problem is it would be my first story
and she’d know something was up...

Jacki shakes her head and straightens out the flashlight that
Rick had touched.

JACKI
What else ya got? You know, this is the
most I’ve heard you talk about yourself since-

RICK
(interrupting)
So I’m thinking that maybe this man was
originally attracted to your mother, then
later, by your resemblance to your mother.
It makes perfect sense if you look at this...

Rick frantically digs a photograph from his pocket. It’s
Jacki’s mother. Jacki snatches it out of his hand.

JACKI
I told you to give that shit a rest. You
know, the only thing creepier than your
theories, is when you tell me one and POW!
you pull a picture of MY MOTHER out of your
pocket like a fucking magic trick.

RICK
(confused)
I’m just trying to save-

JACKI
(grabs her flashlights
and turns them both off)
Here’s the thing. You’re getting creepier
and creepier. You keep talking about the
same SHIT no matter how many times I say not
to, you follow me to this place and open up
by talking about running over a goddamn dog,
then there’s your mission to “save” me from-

RICK
I’m sorry. It’s just...I’m noticing things
I’ve never noticed on the job before. Things
that could have been there all along. I know
these things must be connected in some way.

JACKI
(opening the door)
I’d love to be a fly on the wall at your
job. While someone’s coughing up blood
under a tire you’re probably leaning over
a dead frog saying, “this is all wrong...
anyone know what today is?” You’re fucking
nuts, Rick. Stay away from me. I mean it.

RICK
(muttering)
At my job, sometimes there’s hundreds of
flies on the walls.
(follows her out her door)
Wait, I’m not convinced you want me to
stay away...

JACKI
(changing the subject)
Hey! Speaking of “flies,” do Venus Flytraps
grow around these parts? I mean, on their
own, in the wild?

RICK
(frowning)
I have no idea. Please listen, I’m not
convinced you don’t believe the things
I’m telling you. You already told me you
remember what happened at the wreck. If
that’s true then why-

JACKI
(raising her voice)
I don’t know what I remember anymore,
except one thing. I remember YOU. You
saying, “three more minutes and it never
happened.”

RICK
Yes. That was me. I told you that. I
covered up the evidence of your rape
because I thought I could make it so
it never happen-

JACKI
(climbs back into
the car to get away)
I didn’t ask you to do that. IF you did
that. And IF you did that, you probably
ruined any chance for someone to catch this
rapist. This killer you swear is out there.

RICK
(getting in the passenger’s side)
I’m on it. I’m close. I can-

JACKI
Rick, I don’t give a shit. That’s what
you don’t realize. You think you saved
the day but I didn’t need saving.

RICK
You did. And you still do.

Jacki closes her wooden car door with a slam. Then she turns
on one of the flashlights and shines it in Rick’s face.

JACKI
Let me ask you a question. If you had
the choice. If you could pick whether
your girlfriend or wife or mother or
daughter or whatever girl in you life was
raped or killed. What would you choose?

RICK
(squirming in his seat)
Raped. I don’t understand what-

JACKI
Wait. Okay. Now, would you rather she
was raped or had one of her hands cut off?

RICK
(after a moment)
Raped. What’s your point-

JACKI
Shhh. Last question. Would you rather she
was raped or had one of her fingers cut off?

Rick hesitates. Then he hesitates some more.

JACKI
That’s exactly what I’m talking about.

She reaches across him and opens his door for him.

JACKI
Now get the fuck out of my car.

RICK
Wait. Do I get to pick what finger?

JACKI
Go.

RICK
Hey, is this a “bumper” car? Can we take
this thing on the road? Hey, that reminds
me of another story I could tell you-

JACKI
Get out. And stay out. Do you understand
what I mean when I say, “stay out?”

Rick gets out. He turns to get the last word.

RICK
You realize that humans don’t even use
their little fingers anymore. In a
hundred years they’ll be gone, we’ll
have three fingers and a thumb, just
like in the cartoons. So I was just
trying to figure out if you were talking
about the little finger. That’s why I
hesitated. ‘Cause losing that is like
losing your little toe...

Jacki reaches over to turn off the flashlights again. Before
she does, she stops to shine the light through her hands and
the crack between her fingers. Rick is still rambling. She
studies her blood in the red glow and then turns them off. In
the dark, she leans over and closes the passenger door hard so
she can’t hear him anymore. She grips the steering wheel
tight and stares straight ahead.

JACKI
(almost to herself)
Goodbye.

INT. HOSPITAL ENTRANCE - NEXT DAY

Rick is walking into work. Jack is drinking a bottle of
lemonade and glaring at Rick.

JACK
You still work here?

Derek, the janitor, walks up behind them before Rick can
answer. He taps Jack on the shoulder, his mouth slack and
hanging. Jack smacks his hand away before he can speak.

JACK
Yes, I know, it’s piss. Yes, I’m drinking
piss. I’ve gone crazy. You got me.
Now fuck off, Eric.

Derek turns to leave.

JACK
Wait, I’m sorry. Is it “Eric” or “Derek?”
I can never remember.

RICK
It’s “Derek.” I can never remember
either. And I think you pissed him off.

JACK
I’m just saving time, getting his joke
out before he does. Question for ya, Rick.
Why don’t you ever remember that crazy
fucker’s name? You got half of it in yours.

RICK
Huh?

JACK
Forget it. You gonna freak out today? Am
I gonna have to kill you by lunch or what?

RICK
I don’t know. Did the sun come up today?
(silence)
Nothing. I’m good.

JACK
(finishes his bottle)
We’ll see.

Rick turns to listen as Big Mike and Little Mike walk by
engaged in a loud conversation.

LITTLE MIKE
So I took my dog to get its shots, getting
him immunized for the “hunta” virus, and
I gotta hold him down because he’s crazy.
And I got a hold of two handfuls of fur
right behind his head, got a good grip on
him and the doc says “ready?” and I go
“ready!” and the doc sticks the dog and
the needle goes through a fold in the fur
I’m squeezing and comes out the other side
to stab me right in my fucking hand. The
doc doesn’t even see this and injects the
whole needle right into me. I felt so
stupid I didn’t say nothin’ and just stuck
my hand in my pocket.

BIG MIKE
You realize what this means, right?

LITTLE MIKE
What? That I feel so dumb that I’m
probably going to pay a bill for dog
shots the vet gave me by accident, just
so I don’t have to tell anyone?

BIG MIKE
No. It means you’re immune to the
“hunta” virus now too!

LITTLE MIKE
You ever hear of a man getting the
“hunta” virus?

BIG MIKE
No. But that don’t mean nothin’. Maybe
there’s a lotta people that got shots by
accident. Maybe what happened to you
happens more than we know.

LITTLE MIKE
Shut the fuck up, Mike...wait. What did
you mean “too.”

BIG MIKE
Huh?

LITTLE MIKE
You said, “you’re immune now too.”

BIG MIKE
Oh. ‘Cause now we’re both immune.

LITTLE MIKE
What? Why are you immune to the-
You don’t even have a goddamn dog that-
I mean, the chances of the same thing
happening to you that happened to me are-
Forget it. Just forget it.

A hospital volunteer comes over to the four men and starts
handing out baseball caps. The two Mikes excitedly grab two
and put them on backwards so that whatever is stitched on them
can’t be seen. Rick is standing behind the Mikes and he seems
alarmed by what he sees on the fronts of the baseball caps.

VOLUNTEER
You can wear them or not, it’s up to you.
The family of the girl who was attacked
yesterday had these made up and sent to
all the schools, churches and hospitals
in the area to warn the kids.

Rick and Jack take two and put theirs on backwards also. The
design on them is still not visible. They turn and leave.

EXT. CAR WRECK - LATER THAT DAY

Rick and Jack are responding to a car wreck, attending to a
family bleeding on the side of the road. There are three
ambulances parked in a row. Rick seems all business at first,
securing necks, tying off wounds, checking pupils while
whispering instructions and reassurance into the ears of the
victims. Until he sees a large dog running through a field on
the horizon. His face pinched and distracted, Rick walks over
to a car surrounded by firemen working to free a young girl
from a crushed child’s car seat. Rick forces his way past the
firemen and leans inside to wipe some debris from the side of
the car seat. He frowns at what he sees. He turns to a
fireman and speaks quietly so that Jack can’t hear him.

RICK
Do those look like bite marks to you?

FIREMAN
(struggling with a twisted seatbelt)
What? Wait, is your name? Rick? Back up.

Before Rick can answer him or repeat his question, the car
seat comes loose and both of them are carrying the child to
the side of the road to unbuckle her. As the fireman cuts the
straps, Rick begins to remove the child’s pants. He’s pulling
them down, shaking the rolled cuff, looking for evidence of
something when the fireman throws him to the ground with an
arm across his throat.

FIREMAN
(through his teeth)
What the fuck are you doing?

RICK
(struggling)
Something is wrong here, did you see that dog-

Jack runs over, cops and onlookers following him. Jack shakes
his head as a police officer breaks them apart.

COP
What’s wrong with you guys?

FIREMAN
(pointing at Rick)
He was undressing that child. I heard about
him. He’s gone nuts, done this shit before.
He thinks a dog molested her or something-

RICK
(brushing gravel from his hair)
That’s not what I said-

JACK
(stepping up to the cop)
We have to get our man to the hospital,
we’ll figure this out later.
(motioning to his ambulance)
Not this man. That man. That man back
there doesn’t have time for this shit.

COP
Fine. Go.

Rick runs to the ambulance and climbs into the back, closing
the door behind him. Jack climbs into the drivers seat and
starts the warbling siren. People turn to look because of the
horrible noise and Jack tears off down the road.

RICK
Hey! You forgot something!

INT. AMBULANCE - MINUTES LATER

Rick is lying on a gurney in the back. There is no patient.
Jack is driving. They are arguing.

RICK
Just take me home if you don’t want to
talk about why I’m-

JACK
I am taking you home. Dude, I’ve known you
a long time, and that’s the only reason I’m
keeping you out of jail today. But as far
as the job goes, we’re through. Once I drop
you off, I don’t ever want to see you again.

RICK
If a rapist is faking dog attacks to-

JACK
(ignoring him)
And another thing. If you ever turn
up on the side of the road, sniffing
asses at a car wreck, looking for signs
of milkbones or mystery rapists, I will
fuck you up and then call the cops.

RICK
...all you would have to do to fake it is leave
a couple dog hairs, put the dog’s favorite toy
in someone’s shorts so that he’ll dig for it-

JACK
You sound like as asshole. You know what
you’re doing? You’re inventing a crime
to stop it. You’re like a firebug standing
with the crowd to watch the fire get put
out. Only there’s no fire.

RICK
What?

JACK
You’re imagining something horrible so that
you can be horrified. You’re pathetic.

RICK
Okay, you know how a dog always sticks
it’s nose between a girl’s legs the first
time it smells her...

The sound from the siren crackles and cuts out, then comes
back on louder and more erratic. A car that was easing into
traffic from a side-street suddenly lurches forward and takes
out a mailbox. Jack reaches to turn off the siren and the
button isn’t working. The sound grows even louder.

JACK
(yelling over the siren)
You realize that the only one who thinks
about shit like this is someone who does
shit like this...

The siren emits an almost human shriek and cough.

RICK
(not hearing Jack anymore)
...once I was hiding a squeeze toy behind
my back and my friend’s Rottweiler just
about bit off my nuts trying to get at it...
turn right here.

JACK
What? Where are we going?

RICK
I know a shortcut.

JACK
(turning onto an onramp)
At first I thought you just raped her and
covered it up, now I’m thinking you’re
inventing crazy shit to be a hero and-

RICK
...if we can X-ray this dog, we’ll find
the answer to the-turn left here.

JACK
Huh? You know, you describe this man and
his dog because it's the nastiest thing you
can think of. You know what’s so fucked about
that? Because it's like a Holocaust survivor
telling you a story that you’ve heard before
and he doesn’t think you’re paying attention,
so maybe he thinks you’ve heard it all or
seen worse on TV and he starts searching his
brains for the nastiest thing he can think of,
but he’s not very good at it. And then you
see it’s just their lack of imagination at work
instead of the truth, which was bad enough to
begin with and didn’t need anything extra.
And you stop listening to everything. And
that’s the problem with our job. Out here
we have seen and heard and smelled it all.
So quit trying so hard with ghost stories,
it doesn’t work on us-

RICK
What do you mean “lack of imagination?”
Have you thought of something worse?
Turn right here.

Jack takes a hard right turn. The siren is almost deafening
now. Jack can only hear random words that Rick is muttering.

RICK
...dog’s are man’s best friend...not woman’s...
turn left here...

JACK
(turning the vehicle and yelling)
You’re like the historian saying, “uhhhh, then
they made a radio out of a babies head!” They
say that and they do the seemingly impossible,
make someone angry enough at a historian that
they forget about the war. You’re doing the
same thing. You think every car crash has a
rape victim inside it and your looking for
milkbones instead of treating a broken leg.

RICK
...dog’s...actually smarter than dolphins...
...turn right there where they’re selling
that snowmobile...

JACK
I saw a reality show the other day and the
girls couldn’t wait to get their rape stories
out. This one bitch was telling her story
and you could tell, even though she had really
been raped, that she was making it more dramatic
and more interesting for the television, and
suddenly I didn’t care anymore. You’re doing
the same to me, asshole. Notice how I just
drove off from muti-car accident because your
bullshit has reached a critical mass?

The siren stops. Rick turns to Jack.

RICK
Do you believe me that there’s a rapist?

JACK
What? No. I don’t know. I was trying
to make a point, driving in circles and-
(punches the dashboard)
-screaming over that fucking siren.

RICK
Wait, stop here!

Jack slams on the brakes and the ambulance slides as it comes
to a stop. They’re parked at the entrance of the amusement
park. Jack turns to Rick.

JACK
(looking around confused)
Where the fuck are we?

RICK
I want to check the scene of the accident.

JACK
What? Never mind. Fine. Get out. Realize
that this is the last time I’ll be seeing
you. I’m not risking my job because of your
delusions. This is where you get off, know
what I’m saying?

RICK
(stepping out of the ambulance)
I’m going. You didn’t answer me. Do
you believe there’s a rapist out there?

Jack stares straight ahead and doesn’t answer.

RICK
(walking away backwards)
Answer me. Do you think he’s out there?

Jack says nothing. Rick continues to walk backwards. He’s
headed towards a boy at the gate who’s handing out samples of
elephant ears on toothpicks. Rick bumps into him. Rick takes
a sample and eats it. Jack puts the ambulance into gear.

RICK
(pointing with his toothpick)
It doesn’t matter anyway. You wouldn’t
know him if you were sitting next to him.

He turns, walks past the boy with the toothpick samples and
then quickly turns around.

RICK
Jack! Watch this!

He turns his baseball cap around to face forward and walks
past the boy for another sample.

RICK
See that! Watch!

He turns on his heels, turns his baseball cap around backward
again, and takes another sample. The boy looks confused.

RICK
See! I could do that all day! This kid
don’t even recognize me! If I had a fake
mustache I could make a living doing this!
Hey! Watch your back, Jack!

Jack is driving away. Rick turns his baseball cap around
again, then flips up the bill on it. He takes one more
elephant ear cube off a toothpick and then smiles at the boy.

RICK
Sorry. Just making a point. You see any
dogs around here lately?

BOY
(frowning)
Dogs aren’t allowed on the rides. They’re
aren’t tall enough.

The boy looks up at Rick’s baseball cap.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - RICK’S BASEBALL CAP

A stitched picture of a grinning cartoon dog smiles and says:

“Beware kids! Not all dogs are friendly!”

CUT TO:

INT. AMUSEMENT PARK RIDE - MINUTES LATER

A long line of Model-T cars are backed up on the ride. It’s
pandemonium. Children are crying, balloons are popping and
parents are hanging out of their cars and screaming. Most are
slapping the heels of their hands against horns that don’t
work. Rick is at the front of the line, refusing to move his
vehicle forward. Everyone on the ride keeps yelling from
their cars, afraid to step out as if they were in a traffic
jam on a real highway. Rick sits there calm, lost in thought,
both hands on his fake steering wheel, mumbling to himself.

RICK
...okay, if this is where it happened...
if he was driving, and she was leaning
back on the steering wheel...then how
did she end up under the...

FADE OUT

INT. JACKI’S CAR - NEXT DAY

Toni is sitting next to her mother as she works to pass a
slow-moving ambulance. When the other lane is clear, Jacki
gets frustrated and speeds up to go around it. But once they
are finally in front of it, the flashers suddenly come on and
Toni puts her hands over her ears at the choked, warbling
sound of it’s siren. Toni turns around and climbs up on the
back of the passenger seat to read the backwards writing on
the hood of the ambulance.

INSERT - THE HOOD

Written backwards in red:

“E C N A L U B M A”

BACK TO SCENE

Jacki stares into her rearview mirror. The driver’s face is
obscured by a ballcap. Jacki slows to let it pass by, peering
in vain to see the driver. Then she looks over at Toni. Her
hands are still over her ears. Jacki laughs to calm her down.

JACKI
Look at you! You can put your hands down
now, hon. Hey, you know what you look like?
You look like the “see no evil” monkey!

Toni drops her arms and takes out a red crayon to write
backwards letters on her hand. She makes a fist to hide it.

INT. DEREK’S APARTMENT - LATER THAT DAY

Derek the janitor is lying on the floor of his apartment with
a pair of binoculars. Around him on the floor are wires and
pieces of a police scanner like the one in Rick and Jack’s
ambulance. On his ceiling are many pictures of girls with the
same features as Jacki. We notice that he also has pictures
of young dark-skinned women all over his walls. He stops to
focus his binoculars on one particular photograph.

INSERT - BINOCULAR VIEW

Through the binoculars, we see that he’s focusing on a photo
of Toni, Jacki’s daughter. Rick’s blurred face is also
visible in the photo. It was taken at the hospital, when she
was hiding behind her mom’s legs.

INT. JACKI’S HOUSE - NIGHT

Rick stands at Jacki’s front door. Toni answers, opening the
door a crack and peering out through a space under the chain.
She sniffling and has tears in her eyes.

TONI
Mommy ain’t home.

RICK
(crouching down)
What’s the matter?

Toni looks past him and sees an ambulance parked in her drive
way. She frowns and wipes her nose.

TONI
What’s an “eck-nail-ub-muh?”

RICK
Huh?

TONI
What does it say on the front?

RICK
(turning to look)
That’s just the word “ambulance”
written on there.

TONI
(shakes her head, holds out her hand)
Huh uh.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - TONI’S HAND

Toni holds up her hand to show the red letter’s she’s written
on her palm in crayon:

“E C N A L U B M A”

BACK TO SCENE

RICK
Yeah, that says “ambulance.”

TONI
No it doesn’t.

RICK
Yes it does. It’s just written backwards
so you can read it when it sneaks up on
you. It’s not backwards in the mirror.

TONI
Oh. Why were you chasing us?

RICK
Huh?

TONI
That car was chasing us and it was screaming.

RICK
Screaming? You mean the siren? Did it
sound bad? Did it sound all wrong?

TONI
Yeah. It sounded like it was hurt.

RICK
That wasn’t me. This is a different
ambulance. They all say “eck-nail-ub-muh”
on them. And the siren works fine on this
one, it doesn’t scream like it’s hurt.

TONI
Turn it on and prove it.

RICK
(surprised by her challenge)
I can’t honey. It would scare the
neighbors. Just trust me.

TONI
Why are you driving it when you’re not
at work? Is it yours?

RICK
Sorta. We leave the keys in them. And it
has a special radio I like to listen to.
(he tries to avoid more questions)
Hey, why were you crying?

TONI
(whispering)
I stepped on a spider and killed it.
I didn’t mean to kill anybody.

RICK
(gently)
Don’t cry. I bet you didn’t really kill it.

Toni peeks out with a hopeful look in her eyes.

RICK
You might think you killed it but you
can’t really tell with spiders. They’ve
been around for a long long time, and they
know how to curl up and hide in between
the treads on your shoes. You look down
and think it’s dead but it’s just waiting
for you to go away.

TONI
(doubtful)
It had goo coming out.

RICK
(shaking his head)
That’s just a trick they play.
They spit when they see you coming.

Toni’s eyes are wide and clear. She seems relieved.

RICK
You know. The same thing happened to
me once. I hit a deer with my car and
I was all upset. But when I got out
and looked around, the deer was running
away. I thought for sure it was dead
and it wasn’t even limping. I think
I saw it jump up and catch a lighting
bug on it’s way off the road...

TONI
(frowning)
I thought you said you hit a dog.

RICK
Huh? Yeah, you’re right. It was a big
dog, not a deer.

TONI
But a deer doesn’t jump and catch bugs
and stuff.

RICK
How do you know? You ever throw
a frisbee at one? Ever see what it does?
I didn’t think so.

Toni closes the door on him. Rick climbs inside the ambulance
and turns up the police scanner to listen.

EXT. HIGHWAY - NEXT DAY

Jacki is driving with Toni next to her. They stop at a
red-light and suddenly their car is bumped from behind. She
looks in the rearview mirror and sees Rick at the wheel of an
ambulance frantically waving for her to pull over. Jacki
adjusts her mirror so she can’t see him and Rick inches
forward to bump their car again. After a third nudge, he
flashes the lights and gives a quick burst with the broken
siren. Toni starts to cry. Two men who are watching from
another lane suddenly climb from their cars and run over to
Rick. They start pounding on his window and he rolls it down
a couple inches.

FIRST MAN
Hey fuckface, what the fuck are you doing?

RICK
Guys, relax. I know her.

SECOND MAN
Then why is she looking straight ahead,
ignoring your crazy ass?

RICK
Please, this has nothing to do with-

The light turns green and the first man turns to run back to
his car. The second man waits a moment, then punches off
Rick’s rearview mirror and spits on the hood.

SECOND MAN
You’re lucky you’re driving that thing.
It’ll save time if you need one later.

Rick sits in shock and the cars behind him start honking. He
finally pulls out and catches up with Jacki’s car at another
red light. He pulls up on her left and rolls down his window
to talk to her. She rolls her windows up.

RICK
Hey! I just want to talk! C’mon,
you’re not really afraid of me are you?
I’m trying to save you!

Rick gets out and runs around her car. Jacki stares at him in
anger and fear through her windshield, his pounding and
muffled voice loud enough to make Toni start crying again.

RICK
Listen, I’m not lying to you. In fact,
now that I think about it, I haven’t lied
to you since I met you...except when I said
I punched through a “Green Day” poster in
that old apartment of mine. Actually I
punched an empty wall. And she ended up
covering the hole with a “Mars Attacks”
poster instead...but what I wanted to ask
you was...how were you fucking that man
when you crashed?

JACKI
(face against the glass)
Listen to me, Rick. I don’t care about you
or your theories. I don’t want you to-

RICK
(puts his hand on the window)
One last question, then I’ll go. One
thing I need to know...
(pause)
Why did you fuck all those guys anyway?

Jacki runs the red light to get away. When she’s clear of the
intersection and driving fast, she gets out her cell phone.

JACKI
Hello? I’d like to report a murder.
(pause)
And a rape. Yes. Can I ask you a
quick question?
(pause)
Which one do you think is worse?

INT. RICK’S APARTMENT BUILDING - LATER THAT DAY

In the hallway of Rick’s building, several officers are
approaching an apartment door. They beat on it for a moment
and get no answer. Then one steps forward with a sledge
hammer and knocks the door in off it’s hinges. The cops step
inside and frown as they look around. It’s the empty
apartment they’ve raided. One cop quickly walks over to the
camouflage chair bundle that’s leaning in the corner. He
frowns as he reads the words “T.W.A.T.” stenciled in white on
the canvas bag.

COP
Careful, we got a weapon here.

ANOTHER COP
(reading the words and laughing)
I wouldn’t stick my hand in there
either, unless I want it bitten off.

CUT TO:

INT. RICK’S OTHER APARTMENT - SECONDS LATER

Rick sits up from reading a book on dog breeds when he hears
the noise of the police across the hall. He quickly walks out
his door, past the police and down the stairs, not looking
back. Derek, the janitor, is coming up the stairs when Rick
is coming down. He is wearing sunglasses and Rick doesn’t
recognize him. He spins on the stairs and turns to follow
Rick outside to his car. Rick opens the driver’s side door
but doesn’t hear or see Derek open the passenger door. Rick
and Derek get into the car at the same time, with the same
movements, almost like a Derek is a mirror image. Their doors
slam shut. Then Rick’s police scanner under his dashboard
makes a squawk and Derek leans forward to comment on it.

DEREK
You find that at work? I got the same
scanner in my car, no wait, mine’s an
older model-

RICK
(sucking is his breath)
Jesus fucking Christ! What are you doing?
How did you-

DEREK
I’m sorry to scare ya. The door was open.
Hey, could you give me a ride somewhere?

RICK
(nervous)
Uhhh...I got things to do. How did you-

DEREK
(talking over him)
That would be great because I figure, with
the cops up in your apartment right now,
we’re both in a hurry.

Derek sits back with his arms crossed, smiling and nodding at
Rick to start driving. Rick adjusts his rearview mirror to
look at him. They lock eyes for several seconds. Then Rick
starts the car and pulls out.

RICK
Where do you live?

DEREK
I’m not going home. Just drive. I’ll
tell you when to turn.

Rick drives past the police cars on the curb, ducking down a
little and looking around. After driving a couple miles in
silence, Derek starts giving him directions.

DEREK
Left here...straight awhile...right here.

RICK
Right here?

DEREK
No, not “right here,” turn right here...

A couple more miles and Rick adjusts his mirror again.

DEREK
You know, I’ve overheard your theories and I
wanted you to know that I, for one, believe you.

Derek reaches behind his back and Rick takes his foot off the
gas anticipating a weapon. Derek comes up with a photograph
of a woman and her daughter.

DEREK
You seen this picture? I think we’re
both trying to save the same person.

RICK
(squinting)
I see a girl and her mother. The question
is, however, is that Jacki and her mom,
or Jacki and her daughter?

DEREK
(laughing)
You know what? I can’t tell anymore!

RICK
I know.

Derek keeps laughing as the police scanner starts crackling
again. Rick turns up the volume to drown him out.

POLICE SCANNER (V.O.)
Proceed to eighteen seventy Walnut
Street, for a seven eleven in progress.

DEREK
What’s a “seven eleven?”

RICK
It’s a dog attack.

DEREK
Are you sure.

RICK
Yes I’m sure. Those are the only two police
codes I can remember. “Seven eleven” is a
dog attack and “one eight seven” is murder.
I remembered that one because that’s the
exact price for a hot-dog and coffee...

DEREK
No, I mean, are you sure he didn’t say it
was AT a 7-11? You know, the gas-station?

RICK
You mean there’s a dog attack at a 7-11?

DEREK
Never mind. You know, I don’t understand
why there’s so many dog attacks this summer.
You’d think more people would be paying
attention instead of just the two of us.
I guess it has to be bears or sharks to
make the news.

RICK
Well, a shark attack on a playground
would cause a panic, even if it ain’t
a slow news day.

DEREK
You know what I mean, smart-ass. Turn
here. Okay, now stop the car and get out.
Relax, I’m not armed. You have nothing to
worry about.

RICK
(under his breath)
Unless I’m related to you.

They step out of the car and Rick looks around to see that
they are back at the scene of the crime. Back in front of the
tree that where both of Jacki’s boyfriends died, back to the
place where Toni was conceived after the crash. Derek walks
toward the point of impact, the tree stump, and Rick follows
him. They slowly walk around the stump and Derek’s fingertips
brush the circle of dying Venus Flytraps he’s planted in the
rotten bark around the edge. The stump looks evil, like a
shrine, a place of rituals, bad memories and stagnant black
rain water.

DEREK
(head down by the plants)
I don’t know what’s going wrong here.
My seed should grow anywhere.

RICK
Why are we here?

Derek brushes fuzz on the lips of a plant trying to get it to
move. He brushes it again and it twitches feebly. He flicks
it in frustration.

DEREK
You know, the first time I ever saw one
of these things, it scared the shit out of
me. It hard to get your mind around the
fact that a plant is moving where there’s
no breeze anywhere, you know what I mean?

RICK
No.

DEREK
First time I saw one, my little sister was
growing them in her room, right next to her
bed. And for the longest time, I thought they
were dangerous. Especially growing next to
your fucking bed. I remember watching her feed
them dead spiders and flies and that was crazy
enough. But the thing I remember most was the
hamburger. She would actually drop little bits
of burger or ham or turkey and it would gobble
them up. Of course, back then when I was young,
it seemed to me it was actually snapping shut,
more like a Venus Mouse Trap. Now I realize it
makes a much smoother, more sinister motion...
kinda like those 80’s soft-eject cassette players.
(he grabs Rick’s arm like a cop)
Are you listening to me? You know how
weird it is for your sister to be feeding
a plant scraps from her dinner, like she
was feeding a dog under the table?

RICK
What’s your point, dude.

DEREK
The point is, a little kid starts wondering
what exactly they’ll eat. You drop all sorts
of shit in there to get a reaction. Pennies,
rocks, staples. Hell, one time I actually
drew a picture of a fly and dropped it in
there to see what it would do. Then, when
my sister went off to school and left those
crazy plants behind, when I’m turning thirteen
or so, I start to wonder what else would make
them snap shut. So yeah, I pissed in it.
Nothing. I shit in it. That flattened it.
Killed one, I think. Then I jerked off right
into that mouth, I know it looks another part
of the body with those eyelashes but it’s
definitely a mouth, and slowly it closed
around me as gently as anyone before or since.

Derek squats and pulls Rick down next to him. He taps one of
the largest plants on the bulb.

DEREK
You see that?

Rick looks close and sees a dark spot in the center of the
bulb where the sun isn’t shining through. The outline of a
fly is clearly visible. The shape of the wings, head, even
the snout can be seen inside.

DEREK
See it? That image? That fly inside there?
That exact same image saved my life. And
years later, it’s what gave me my purpose.
It was a day like this, about twenty years
ago, living alone, just moved to the coast,
the sun coming through the window like a
laser and that when I noticed it. I saw a
dark spot inside my Venus Flytrap on top of
my television. First I was amazed that it
had captured it’s own dinner, ‘cause I’d
just been feeding it fast food like my had
sister taught me. Then I started to think
about what the plant looked like to me at
that moment. What it was trying to tell me...
(he strokes the plant lovingly)
...see, back then, I had been getting this
pain in my left testicle every day for a
couple a months, and I just assumed it was
from riding a bike or taking a car door in
the balls or something like that, but when
I stood there, with the static off the TV
screen crackling against the hair on my
stomach, thinking about how many times I
jerked off into that yawning green mouth,
I reached down, grabbed my balls and that’s
when I found the tumor.
(he adjusts his crotch)
I could feel it rolling around in my fingers like
a rock stuck under a skinned knee. And I grabbed
a handful of skin and stretched it all out under
the ray of sunlight. It was like an X-ray, I
could see inside my body. I could see the veins
radiating from the dark spot inside of me, like
a bullet stuck in a bat’s wing...

Rick pulls away wincing and backs up in disgust.

DEREK
I wasn’t sure if I was being punished for
what I’d been doing, or rewarded with this
knowledge. But I did know one thing. I
knew that my seed was destined to die and
I didn’t have much time left. Turns out
I had more time than I thought.

Rick walks towards the woods, looking to the sky for answers.

RICK
(facing away from Derek)
So let me get this straight. You’re tellin’
me that the reason you’re this crazy-ass
serial rapist is because you got turned
on staring at furry little Venus Flytraps
as a boy, and you started thinking of them
as Martian pussies or some such bullshit-

DEREK
No. I just want my family tree to go on,
is that so hard to understand? Just one
more generation will be enough, I think.
First I thought I could store some seeds
for later. And I did. I stored it everywhere
I could. Underground, under loose bricks,
in prescription bottles, even at work in the
break room freezer. I’d even drop some in
someone’s drink, so they could carry me
around for the day.
(laughing)
That’s why you should tell your partner Jack
he should never steal someone’s lunch. Anyway,
I thought maybe a part of me could wait for
Toni too, and if I couldn’t live inside her
for more than forty-eight hours, maybe it
didn’t matter. The “Guinness Book of World
Records” says the youngest pregnancy case was
nine years-old. So there’s a chance, who
knows? Maybe it’s always been possible and
not such a strange thing, just no one ever
takes the chance...

RICK
But there is a dog right? The dog attacks?
That’s you, right?

DEREK
(head down, suddenly ashamed)
I’d never kill anyone, before I found the
second tumor. I know I’ve made mistakes
lately. My dog...my Smokey, he helps me
keep things straight in my head...

CUT TO:

INSERT - CLOSE UP - DOG’S EYES - FLASHBACK

A dog’s eyes watch the smoke and fire at Jacki’s burning car
wreck. In the dog’s eyes, the reflection of a man dragging
the body of a girl can be seen.

DEREK (V.O.)
C’mon! Aren’t you hungry?

The dog looks sad and confused and takes a couple weary steps
toward its master.

CUT TO:

INSERT - CLOSE UP - DOG’S EYES - FLASHBACK

The dog walks over to the tree stump and begins to eagerly
drink the cold black rain water from inside the ring of
plants. A vicious kick sends the dog rolling into the brush.

DEREK (V.O.)
Don’t ever do that again.

The dog slinks away miserable.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - DOG’S EYES - FLASHBACK

The dog’s eyes are watching the back legs of his master. The
sound of a zipper is heard. The dog whimpers.

DEREK (V.O.)
Here it comes...open wide...

In the reflection of the dog’s eyes, squirts of white fluid
rain down into the open mouths of a circle of young Venus
Flytraps. They twitch and close like hungry baby birds.

BACK TO SCENE

Rick is still staring up into the sky, his body swaying with
the treetops while he shakes his head.

RICK
You can’t treat a dog like that, you know?
You can’t force a dog to do things like
that and still expect to keep it around.
They’re smarter than you know. They can’t
do math or make you an omelet but emotionally
they’re very complicated. And if you keep
forcing him to do things, he will turn on
you eventually. Think I’m lying? Trying
jerking off into your dog’s mouth and see
what happens you crazy fuck-

Rick spins around to see that Derek has vanished. Rick
quickly walks over to the Venus Flytrap with the fly inside
and begins to tear it open, suddenly desperate to save the
fly. Once the plant is shredded and falling from his hands he
sees that it is empty and there was nothing to save.

INT. DEREK’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Derek is lying on the floor, looking at the ceiling with the
binoculars again. He has a phone balanced on his face.

DEREK
Hello? Toni? This is Rick, you’re mommy’s
friend. Listen, I have a secret to tell you.
You wanna hear a secret?
(pause)
Good. You can’t tell anyone but I’m going
to tell you who I am. It takes four words
to tell you who I am so listen close.
(pause)
Oh, you got your crayons? Okay, just hide
it after you write it. Ready? These
four words mean I’m everything to you...

INT. TONI’S BEDROOM - SAME NIGHT

Jacki comes into her room to turn off her late night talk
shows and sees Toni hiding something from her mother in her
hand. Jacki smiles and playfully wrestles her hand open.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - TONI’S HAND

Written in crayon are the letters:

“rehtorbapdnargelcnuyddad”

Toni starts to cry and a confused Jacki releases her hand.

FADE OUT

EXT. HIGHWAY - NEXT DAY

Jack is driving an ambulance with a new female partner, JESS.
Far behind so that they don’t notice is Rick following them in
another ambulance. Suddenly Jack pulls a U-turn and heads in
the other direction, lights flashing and siren blaring. The
siren is clear and normal.

INT. AMBULANCE - SECONDS LATER

RICK
What did dispatch say?

JESS
He said out on Green Road.

RICK
That voice didn’t sound right.
Who the hell was-
(pause)
Try calling back.

JESS
Dispatch. Come in dispatch.

She drops the CB and shrugs.

JESS
Now it’s dead.

Jack leans down to check the CB, he frowns as he pulls up a
handful of loose wires and doesn’t notice Rick driving past
them in his ambulance, then swerving and doing a quick wobbly
U-turn to follow him. Jack pops his head back up and sees a
car wreck on the horizon. When they’re closer, the twisted
body of a woman can be seen on the road. Jack stops at the
scene of the crash and Rick drives past them, seeing that they
are, of course, near the woods again, back to the scene of
Jacki’s original crash. Jack watches Rick’s ambulance drive
past and around a corner out of sight. Rick turns onto a dirt
road and parks his vehicle behind some trees. Rick gets out
to approach the crash scene through the woods and then he
disappears. Jack walks to the tree stump while his partner
runs to the body on the road. Jack leans down to study the
dying plants around the rim, reaching into the stump to come
up with a handful of blood red water. He stands back and
looks around as if he’s recognized the place from three years
ago. Then Jack notices the other ambulance in the distance
through the trees. He crunches slowly through the woods, the
victim on the road forgotten. He reaches the vehicle and see
the license plates are gone. He leans inside and the siren
screeches and Jack bangs his head getting out. The siren is
cracked and distorted like before. Jack’s new partner yells
from where she’s crouched over the broken crash victim.

JESS
Hey Jack! What’s going on?

Jack punches off the siren, hands stopping to twirl a tangle
of wires under the dashboard. He starts walking back.

JACK
I don’t know. Stay where I can see
you. I’m calling the cops-

Jack reaches his own vehicle and leans inside. He suddenly
comes face to face with Rick opening the passenger door. They
both reach for the keys at the same time. Rick gets the key
and Jack grabs Rick around the throat.

JACK
(struggling)
You crazy fucker. I’m going to-

INSERT - CLOSE UP - RICK’S THROAT

Jack is squeezing Rick’s throat with one hand. Then a second
hand reaches in to choke him harder. Then a third. Then a
fourth. Jack’s hands let go.

BACK TO SCENE

Startled from the other hands, Rick falls backwards out of the
ambulance, catching a glimpse of someone pulling Rick out of
the passenger door. He’s helped to his feet by his new
partner. Jack pushes her away and runs around the ambulance
looking for Rick and the owner of the hands that were helping
Jack choke him. He stops to stare at something written on the
back doors.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - DOORS

Spray-painted in huge green childlike letters are the words:

“TIME MACHINE”

BACK TO SCENE

JESS
(following Jack)
Wait, what happened? What are you looking for-

JACK
(frantic, pacing)
Where did they go? Did you see him?

JESS
They or him?

JACK
(hesitates)
I don’t know.

Jack turns back toward the woods and the second ambulance,
motioning for her to follow.

JACK
C’mon. He took the keys.

JESS
Wait, aren’t you forgetting something?

She points back to the woman on the side of the road.

JACK
No. This is more important. Leave her.

They climb into Rick’s ambulance and Jack floors it, his tires
throwing up a fishtail of dirt and leaves on his way out.

INSERT - UNDER THE FIRST AMBULANCE

Between the tires of the vehicle is Rick lying bloody and
inert. In the distance Derek is running through the trees.

CUT TO:

INT. AMBULANCE - LATER THAT NIGHT

Derek is standing in front of Jack and Jess’s ambulance with
his dog, a huge hairless blue Doberman, and Toni standing next
to him. Toni is holding his hand. The word “AMBULANCE” is
reflected in the mirrored sunglasses he’s wearing and Toni
tugs on his arm and angles his head so she can read it better.
Then she holds her hand, palm up, in front of Derek’s face.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - TONI’S HAND

Written in red, green, blue and black crayon and legible in
the reflection of his glasses are the words:

“daddyunclegrandpabrother”

BACK TO SCENE

Derek smiles as he reads her hand and helps her up into the
passenger seat. The dog jumps up over her and into the back
where it curls up in the corner. Toni jumps from her seat and
follows the dog into the back of the ambulance too. She seems
nervous but not scared, interested in the equipment and her
surroundings. Derek reaches for the dashboard, brushing aside
the loose wires that hang there. A Frankenstein combination
of radio/police scanner/tape player has been installed under
the steering column. Derek rewinds and then pushes play and
the voice of a woman is heard.

WOMAN (V.O)
Dispatch? We got a “seven eleven” over.
(after a long pause)
Will you let me go, now?

He stops the tape and removes it, putting in another cassette
tape. The song “The Rhythm of the Heat” by Peter Gabriel
begins to play again. Toni climbs back up front.

TONI
Why are you driving Rick’s car?

DEREK
It’s not his. It’s more mine than his, or
any of ‘em. And they leave the keys in them
all the time for anyone who really needs one.

TONI
Why?

DEREK
They leave the keys in every vehicle
that has a siren. Leave ‘em running too
sometimes. You’d be surprised.
(the dog growls at Derek voice)
It’s just like a videogame. Firetrucks, cop
cars, ambulances, all yours for the taking.

Toni climbs back into the back. The dog’s growling rises with
Derek’s voice. Toni moves further away from it. She finally
starts to look scared. Then she gets distracted by the
equipment and starts to play with the defibrillator. She
holds it up to the sides of her head and starts messing with
the buttons. Derek turns to watch her, ready to warn her to
put it down, but waiting to see what she does. She flips a
switch that makes the machine power up with a rising hum.
Derek smiles in anticipation. The dog cocks its head
curiously. But before Toni can push another button, Jacki
suddenly opens the driver’s side door and pushes her way in.
Surprised, Derek moves to the passenger seat and watches in
shock as she puts the ambulance in gear and starts driving.

DEREK
What the-

JACKI
Don’t talk. We’re going to the scene of
the crime, the same place you were taking her.

TONI
(dropping the paddles)
Mommy! Where are we-

JACKI
Quiet honey, we’re going for a drive.

The ambulance leans hard to the right as it slides around a
corner, picking up speed as she straightens it out. Derek
looks nervous, his hands scratching at his legs.

DEREK
If we have some time, I’d like to explain-

JACKI
(swerving through traffic)
Heard it all. Don’t bother.

DEREK
I’m not talking about Rick’s theory that
“if no one knows it happened, then it
didn’t happened,” I know you’re tired
of all that. I’m talking about-

JACKI
And if a tree falls on a car and no one
lives to see it, does it make a sound?
(honking as she dodges more cars)
Don’t give a shit. Stop talking.

DEREK
We have a connection. You can’t deny
that. One look at your daughter and you
must realize. If you could do anything
different, if I could do anything different,
would you even want me to? If I didn’t do
what I did, she wouldn’t exist. You wouldn’t
exist. And her daughter won’t exist.
(he moves toward Jacki)
Why deny these things? Why interfere in
something that is perfect?

She accelerates and Derek sits back down quickly. He hits the
siren button to warn oncoming traffic out of their path. The
siren emits a strangled warbling sound and Derek tugs on some
wires trying to get the siren to sound normal.

DEREK
Just relax. You’re scaring our daughter.
Where are we going? This isn’t where
we were going.

JACKI
(yelling to the back)
You okay back there, honey?

TONI
(hands over her ears)
No.

JACKI
What’s with that fucked-up siren? Why the
hell does it do that?

DEREK
(worried)
Just watch the road. Don’t worry about
the siren. I made it do that. To keep
Rick unbalanced. But I don’t understand
why it’s doing it now...

Jacki takes another hard turn and the song “The Rhythm of the
Heat” is reaching its frantic drum climax. Derek has a foot
on the floorboard between them, ready to leave his seat again.
Another hard turn and the sun visor flops down a paper
flutters down onto Jacki’s leg. It’s Jack’s crude crayon
drawing of a baby flying headfirst through a windshield.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - DRAWING

A red circle with a line through it has been added to the
crayon drawing.

BACK TO SCENE

Jacki’s eyes get wide as she suddenly gets an idea and yells
back to Toni.

JACKI
(forcing a smile)
Baby! Get up here and sit in our daddy’s lap.

Derek looks at her in surprise and smiles when Toni comes up.

JACKI
(to Toni)
Let our daddy strap you in with him-

TONI
But he’s my daddy...

JACKI
That’s right. Let your daddy strap you
in. There a sharp turn coming...

Derek welcomes her onto his lap, adjusting his crotch before
she sits. Then he carefully pulls the seatbelt over them both
and wraps his arms around her body. Stone-faced, Jacki stares
straight ahead then turns the ambulance hard one last time.

DEREK
Where are we going? We aren’t going to
where she was conceived-

JACKI
Yes we are. We’re going to the place
where all of us were conceived...

EXT. THE BEACH - DAY - FLASHBACK

A hot hazy day in Florida near the beach. Clothing and music suggest the early 80s. The English version of Peter Gabriel’s song "Intruder" is playing from an unknown source. There is a young man sitting on a bench near the ocean. He’s wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. He turns the cap around and the lifts his head so that the sun shines through the sunglasses into his eyes and his face is no longer obscured. It is Derek as a teenager. Just over his shoulder is a large sign with a grinning cartoon dog’s picture on it. The dog’s eyes seem to be watching everyone. Everyone is leading a dog.

INSERT - THE SIGN

"ALL DOGS (AND THEIR OWNERS) WELCOME!"

BACK TO SCENE

Derek cradles a small potted seedling like a baby. After a while, an attractive Chicano girl walks by.

DEREK
Can you please tell me what time it is?

SERIES OF SHOTS - GIRLS WALKING BY
Fast forward through several dark-skinned girls walking by his bench and answering his question in Spanish. There is a dismissive impatient tone to their voices so their answers are understood even without translation. Their responses to Derek’s question blend together in a rapid-fire list of rejections.

GIRL #1
El tiempo para usted comprar un reloj...

GIRL #2
Joda Lejos.

GIRL #3
Cogida apagado.

GIRL #4
Vete a la meirda.

GIRL #5
Coja eso.

GIRL #6
Varfunculo.

Derek raises his head sharply at the last response. It was some kind of rebuke, but it wasn’t in Spanish. He seems angry not knowing what the girl said. He’s clearly gotten used to a steady stream of Spanish "fuck offs" and has learned to ignore them. Finally a small Mexican girl smiles and stops walking to answer him. Although they are still speaking Spanish, their connection and the friendly tone of the conversation is obvious. Derek’s apparent blindness puts her at ease.

MEXICAN GIRL
No puede decir ested por el sol?

DEREK
Usted madre no lo dijo para nunca
contestar una pregunta con una pregunta?

MEXICAN GIRL
Eso no es lo que usted acaba de hacer?

DEREK
(smiling)
Eso no es lo que usted acaba de hacer?

MEXICAN GIRL
(moving closer)
Yo no recuerdo a mi madre.

DEREK
(whispering)
What’s all that noise down there?
What are they doing by the water?

MEXICAN GIRL
I’ll show y-
(stopping, embarrassed of what she said)
I mean...let’s see.

She steps toward him, taking his arm. He’s surprised and almost drops his plant. He gently cradles it. They both walk toward the water where a pier is under construction. Suddenly a thundering pile of tree trunks rolls out of the back of a truck and crashes onto the sand. The noise startles at least a dozen sunbathers, several of them sittin up on their towels, sliding down their sunglasses and frowning and looking around. The Peter Gabriel song climaxes.

SONG
"Intruder come...
intruder come and leave his mark...
leave his mark."

MEXICAN GIRL
Feel the sun on your nose? It’s noon.
To answer your question, that is what time
it is. See how easy we did that?

DEREK
(laughing)
Thank you.

MEXICAN GIRL
You didn’t answer me. I asked if your
mother ever told you not to answer a
question with a question.

DEREK
No, I quess she didn’t. However, one time,
my father said that if I threw enough
rocks off that pier...
(nodding toward the construction)
...I would eventually hit a duck that
deserved it.

MEXICAN GIRL
(frowning)
What were you trying to hit? How
could you see to-

DEREK
(interrupting)
Don’t you mean to say, ‘there
wasn’t a pier until today?’

His voice fades as they walk on together. Smiling wide with
his nostrils flaring, Derek turns to the ocean. His mouth and
nose are the only features visible. Suddenly a dog’s ragged
ball rolls in front of his foot. And even though the ball
doesn’t bump his shoe, he quickly kicks it away as if he saw
it coming. The small dog that was chasing it quickly skids to
a stop and alters its course to run it down. The girl doesn’t
notice the kick and doesn’t realize that Derek is not really
blind. And after the dog catches the ball, it trots back
towards the boy with the headphones. Halfway there, the dog
stops and turns to stare at Derek and the girl. It cocks its
head to the side.

BOY WITH HEADPHONES
(german accent)
Was ist los?
(pause)
What’s wrong?

The dog ignores him. It slowly opens its mouth and the sand
and saliva streaked ball drops and gets swallowed by the surf.

FADE OUT

BACK TO SCENE

Jacki turns the steering wheel hard and the ambulance leaves
the road, it’s headlights crashing through a sand dune.
Distracted by the little girl on his legs, Derek doesn’t see
the pier coming until it’s too late. The ambulance throws a
fishtail of sand behind it as it barrels down the beach and
crashes into the lumber supports under the pier. The Peter
Gabriel song ends and the cassette tape unspools and curls up
the dashboard like a snake. Derek is doubled over under Toni,
in intense pain, trying to catch his breath. Jacki reaches
over to unbuckle Toni and they both exit the ambulance
unharmed. Derek stumbles from the passenger door, both hands
holding his groin. He appears to have a large erection,
however the bulge in his jeans resembles fistful of broken
knuckles. His erection has fractured from the impact and he’s
in incredible pain. The dog can be heard scratching at the
back doors of the ambulance. Derek starts to lurch toward
them when a second ambulance plows down the beach and Rick
jumps out the driver’s door before it completely stops. Rick
runs toward Derek and is almost there when the dog crashes out
of back doors of the first ambulance and intercepts him.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - DOG FIGHT

The dog goes for his throat, knocking Rick onto his back with
his arm in its jaws. The fight is brutal, both Rick and the
dog biting at each other’s necks. Rick finally gets the dog’s
snout locked in his hands, its teeth stabbing between and
through his bloody fingers. Rick strains to bring his thumbs
up and into the dog’s rolling eyes. His thumbs push down and
the dog yelps and kicks, now struggling to get away. Rick
stares at it its face in his hands for a moment, hesitating to
apply enough pressure to rupture its eyes and blind it. Then
he releases the dog and it backs off, now submissive, tail
curled under, whimpering and slinking towards the pier.

BACK TO SCENE

JACKI
Toni! Wait!

Toni is running to follow the dog. She disappears into the
dark under the pier. Derek turns to follow Toni and his dog
and Jacki grabs his arm and spins him around. He’s still
hunched over, one hand squeezing the ruin between his legs.
Bloody and dazed, Rick stumbles over to them.

JACKI
(to Rick)
I don’t need you here.

Jacki steps forward and punches Derek in the face. When she
steps back, everyone sees that she was holding the jumble of
keys to the ambulance in her fist, with the ignition key
sticking between her knuckles. Derek screams and grabs his
face. One of his thumbs slips into the hole where his eye
used to be and he screams again. Jacki looks down to see most
of his eye, deflated and dripping, hanging from the ignition
key. Rick turns to walk under the pier, looking for Toni. He
finds her petting and comforting the dog.

RICK
Toni?

Toni peeks out from behind a pole under the pier like she did
when she was hiding behind her mother’s leg. The dog peeks
out from the other side of the same pole. Rick sits down in
the sand exhausted. In the distance, Derek sits down at the
same time. One hand clenches his groin and he’s yelling at
Jacki through the hand clenching his face.

DEREK
Don’t you understand? Every single human
being that you’ve ever met, without exception,
is a piece of shit. Think about them, think
about everyone you’ve ever crossed paths
with. Think of yourself sitting in front
of a slideshow with their faces, one after
the other, clicking on the screen in front
of you. Think about how every one of these
creatures that you’ve encountered has
disgusted you or failed you or fucked you
over in some way. Think about how...

INSERT - JACKI’S IMAGINATION - CLASSROOM SLIDE SHOW

Jacki sits at a desk. Behind her the sounds of a slide
projector humming and clicking through images. The first
pictures are of her mother, then her grandmother walking with
Derek under the pier all those years ago, then Rick.

DEREK (V.O.)
...for example, the ones that have a tragedy
in their lives and you can see on their
faces that they want to make the death of
their mother or father all about them, and
how they think, maybe without even knowing it,
what money, attention or free passes they
gain because of it. Think about how everyone
who seems to do a good deed is for a selfish
reason. Anyone who seems to help you only
helps themselves.

The next slides are of the two cops, side by side smiling.
Then the two rival paramedics, Mike and Mike, also smiling.

DEREK (V.O.)
...think about how people in power wait for
an emergency to ask you something that they
never would normally. Like a cop who asks a
rape victim is she was a virgin, just because
he wants to know. Think about how maybe they
don’t do this consciously, maybe it’s such an
essential part of being human that they don’t
even know what they’re doing when they do it...

The next slide is Jacki’s father.

DEREK (V.O.)
See that man? I don’t know who’s slide
is up in your head right now but I do
know that he wronged you...

The next slide is the doctor sneaking up on her daughter with
the needle.

DEREK (V.O.)
See that man? I don’t know who he
is but I know he lied to you...

Another slide clicks into place. Jacki stares at the face on
the screen a moment, then gets up from her desk and leaves the
classroom. She turns the light on before she slams the door.

DEREK (V.O.)
(desperate)
Where are you going? Who’s face was that?

BACK TO SCENE

Jacki and Toni are walking away down the beach.

JACKI
My daughter.

DEREK
(laughing)
That’s right. You know why she doesn’t
count? Because she’s halfway to ME.

Jacki walks back to Derek, clenching her fist around the keys
in her left hand. She punches him before he can react. It’s
a straight on shot that punctures his one good eye. Derek
drops to his knees, head down, both hands over his face now.

JACKI
If you can’t see me doing this to you,
did I really do it?

Derek stumbles around blind, trying to grab anyone he can.

DEREK
Don’t you get it?!? I’m out of time, but
I could still change things if there was
more of me out there. I’m in the plants,
I’m in the trees, I got people at work
smelling me and drinking me and eating me
and they don’t even know it. If I can just
spread myself around a little more...

He flails around for his family.

DEREK
There’s got to be a reason we’re back
here. Back to where my idea was conceived.
With my idea, you’re not here. Not just
somewhere else, you and your daughter are
not even here. Jacki, please, if you’re
half me, and she’s three quarters me, then
one more generation and the child will be
all me. And it won’t be just up to me
anymore. It’s just math, don’t get caught
up in the taboos and all the “birth is a
miracle” stuff.

He stops stumbling around and slumps into the sand, his head
down and his arms limp. Blood drips like tears from the holes
where his eyes were. He starts mumbling to himself.

DEREK
(barely audible)
...the first time I had my finger in a
girl, I told her that it felt just like I
had my finger in my nose when I had the
flu. She didn’t believe me even though
I proved it...

He wipes the blood and snot from his nose and mouth, then his
hand drifts up onto his face and a finger penetrates and
explores the leaking cavity where his left eye used to be.

DEREK
...you ever wonder about why you’re with
the three of us? Why all the names are
the same? Derek...Eric...Rick...you keep
going back for more, don’t ya? It’s no
accident...the same names...the same look...
the same girls...we all keep going back to
what we know...even if it has never worked...

His finger comes out of his eye with a POP! like a kid thumb
being pulled reluctantly from his mouth.

DEREK
...I know, I know, you’re thinking what does
that have to do with anything I just said.
Well, here’s my point. There’s no “miracle”
when it comes to biology. What I’m saying is,
if giving birth felt exactly the same as taking
a shit, there’s no woman on earth that would
admit it. Wait, where’s my dog...

He tries to whistle for the dog, blood bubbling through his
lips instead. The dog doesn’t come. Derek collapses. Then
Rick collapses. Jacki sits down and Toni comes out of hiding
and runs to her. Jacki reaches to hug her and drops the keys.
Behind her mother’s back, Toni buries them in the sand. The
dog moves toward them slowly, it’s nose tentatively sniffing
the air. It walks up to Rick and stares at him. Jacki and
Toni walk off and Rick quickly crawls to where they were
sitting and starts digging for the keys. The dog helps him.

INT. AMBULANCE - HOURS LATER

In the back of an ambulance with a strong steady siren
blaring, a paramedic with a baseball cap covering his face is
working on Derek. The song “Electricity” by Captain Beefheart
is playing again loud on a small portable cassette player.
The song is suddenly interrupted by Derek’s voice giving a
fake radio dispatch.

DEREK (V.O)
Please respond to dog attack on the
corner off-fuck, that doesn’t sound right...

The paramedic laughs and pulls back his cap. It’s Jack. He
fast-forwards the tape to get back to the song. Jess is
driving. She turns to look at Derek lying in the back.

JESS
Hey asshole! I heard about you! Ever heard
anything by the band, “Penis Flytrap?” Me
and Jack bet five bucks that that’s where
most of your ideas comes from. Pretty sad.

DEREK
(through a mouthful of sand and blood)
Why is it taking so long to get there?

Jack turns off the siren. Captain Beefheart is howling. Jess
is still laughing.

JESS
Good question.

JACK
I’m just trying to remember my buddy
Rick’s philosophy. Or was it yours?
(he rips off the tape covering
Derek’s empty eye sockets)
...what was it you said? If you can’t see
it, then it didn’t happen? Or was it, “if
you can’t hear it, it didn’t happen?”

DEREK
(empty eyes blinking)
Never said that. Rick said all that-

JACK
Question for ya. Is it true? All that
insanity about the dogs? Did you really
do those things with the dogs or was Rick
chasing shadows these last couple days?
I mean, chasing his tail?

DEREK
(groggy, lost in thought)
I’m sorry. I just let Rick think that I
was using the dog to help me do things but
I never did anything like that. Smokey just
follows me around, like any dog would.
I just didn’t want Rick to be disappointed.
(fading off)
He’d put so much time into his theory...
It seemed so important to him...
I let him think he was right about everything...

Jack puts a hand over Derek’s mouth.

JACK
I knew it. That fucker was crazy.
I fucking knew it.

JESS
He’s only like twenty-five percent crazy.
Thirty tops. The rest really happened.
This motherfucker did the worst of it.
Fucking mothers, daughters then their
daughters. He did the worst and he deserves
worse. The rest really happened-

JACK
(staring into Derek’s holes)
No it didn’t. At least, it didn’t as
soon as I flip the switch on this
Time Machine...

DEREK
Wait, I was just trying to-

JACK
Shhhhh.

JESS
(turning around to watch)
So it’s never going to happen? Sounds good
to me. Hey, you ever see those three
monkeys? The “see no evil, hear no evil,
speak no evil” things?

JACK
Yeah?

JESS
Well, there you go. That’s what your
partner meant. Makes sense to me. Perfect
sense. Maybe because I’m a girl?

JACK
We weren’t partners.

JESS
You sure?

Jack hesitates, then reaches down to turn on a switch. The
climbing whine of something powering up can be heard. Jess
turns back to drive. Jack looks around the back of the
ambulance one last time, stopping to focus on Jess’s baseball
cap. It’s on backwards so that , while she’s driving, the dog
stitched on the front seems to be watching him. Then Jack’s
hands come up in front of his face with the two defribulator
paddles. He rubs them together in anticipation and places
them against the sides of Derek’s head. Derek starts to
struggle.

JACK
(gently)
Relax. Hear no evil, right?

JESS
That’s right. Three more minutes and
it never happened...

The ambulance echoes with a loud buzzing sound. Then there’s
a hollow smack like someone swatting an insect too hard
against their own ear.

EXT. HOSPITAL PARKING LOT - NEXT DAY

Mike and Mike are being interviewed by the two cops that
interrogated Jacki after Anthony’s murder. It’s an idiotic
conversation, like four mental patients stuck in an elevator
together.

LITTLE MIKE
(holding his finger up)
...so I’m holding my finger up under the
light and it’s glowing green. I turn to
Mike and I’m like, “see, I told you something
was wrong with that girl!” and he’s like-

BIG MIKE
(interrupting)
I’m like, “everything is glowing green,
dumbass. ‘Cause it’s one of those black
lights in the room, and he’s standing
under this poster of a panther that’s
glowing like Three Mile Island and he
didn’t even notice...

LITTLE COP
Let’s get back on track, okay? You
knew the janitor?

BIG COP
Did he tamper with any of your food?

LITTLE MIKE
Wouldn’t know. All tastes like shit to me-

BIG MIKE
(laughing)
I told my mom not to eat off my lunch fork
though, might get knocked up.

BIG COP
You laugh, but stranger things have happened.
(to his partner)
You remember that dude who fucked the
pregnant chick and changed the baby’s
eyes to his eyes?

LITTLE MIKE
How would they even know what color the
baby’s eyes were to begin with?

LITTLE COP
(tapping his head)
Exactly!

BIG MIKE
We did our own investigation here, if you
want to hear the results, might save time.

BIG COP
Uh, no thanks, I think we got all we-

LITTLE MIKE
We took this goldfish see, and put it in
the tank behind the toilet, then we
dropped a watch in next to it-

LITTLE COP
Just the facts boys, please no amateur
sleuthing necessary.

LITTLE MIKE
You laugh, but stranger shit has happened.
You know how they’re saying Derek was pissing
and spitting on people’s food? Well, I used to
live with this asshole who put a big black pubic
hair on my pizza slice in the ‘fridge. After
four days it was twice as long-

BIG MIKE
Think about that, is it the ‘fridgeration,
is it the pizza? Boggles the mind...

BIG COP
Naw. That’s a myth. It’s like when they say
fingernail keep growing after someone dies.

BIG MIKE
(looking at his fingernails)
They don’t? Yeah they do, seen it myself.

LITTLE MIKE
Naw, he’s right, it’s just the skin on the
fingers shrinking back after you’re dead.

LITTLE COP
(slamming his book shut)
Exactly!

BIG COP
I think we’re about done here-

LITTLE MIKE
Wait! Did you hear about how I got
immunized for the “hunta” virus?

LITTLE COP
No.

LITTLE MIKE
True story. I’m holding down the dog for
the vet to give the shot and the needle
goes through-

BIG COP
(excited)
Hold on. Same thing happened to me!

LITTLE MIKE
(real excited)
Bullshit. No shit?

BIG COP
(proudly nodding)
No shit.

LITTLE MIKE
What did you do about it?

BIG COP
I go back every year to get another
shot. Just in case.

LITTLE MIKE
Never thought of that. Thanks.

BIG COP
(finishes writing, slams his book)
Okay boys, thanks! Got all we need here!

LITTLE MIKE
(frantically waving)
Keep fightin’ the good fight, boys! Let
us know if you need any more statements!

INT. RICK’S APARTMENT - DAYS LATER

Rick is sitting in an apartment, a baseball cap down over his
eyes. It is empty except for a television on a cinderblock, a
small potted plant on the windowsill and an black rotary
telephone next to him on the floor. On the screen the credits
are rolling for a movie. The phone rings and he answers it.

RICK
Hey. Hi.
(pause)
Nothing.
(pause)
I’m surprised you called.
(long pause)
Come on up.

There’s a knock on the door and Rick opens it to see Jacki
standing there. Rick lifts his cap, his left eye is bandaged.
Derek’s Doberman comes to answer the door too. It stands
obediently next to Rick’s left leg. He scratches its ears.

RICK
He helps me. I’ve lost my peripheral vision.

JACKI
(mumbling)
Maybe you got it back.

RICK
Huh?

JACKI
Hey, I just wanted to say...something.
I’m sure why I’m here.

RICK
That’s fine. Makes perfect sense to me.

Rick holds his door open wide. Jacki looks past him at the
credits rolling on the TV screen.

RICK
Wanna come in?

JACKI
No. What movie were you watching?

RICK
I have no idea. There was a dog in it.

JACKI
(long blink)
Of course there was.

RICK
Dogs are good for you. I hit a dog with
my car the first day I got my license.
That’s what made me want to be a paramedic...

JACKI
(interrupting)
Please, can’t to hear anymore.
(looks to his TV)
Do you still get an empty feeling when
the movie is over.

RICK
Not really.

He walks to the window and looks down to see Toni waiting in
her car. The car is still running.

RICK
Do you remember when I told you that
my dad made me hunt stray cats in the
junkyard with him?

JACKI
(sighing)
I thought you said it was stray dogs.

RICK
No. It was cats, we’d catch cats hiding in
the tires in the junkyard. Living in the
rainwater like otters. Ten more generations
and they’d have flippers..

JACKI
You ever read “Tom Sawyer?” Long time ago
I read it and Toni just started reading it
to me at bedtime and it turns out I remembered
it all wrong. “Spunkwater” isn’t the cure for
warts. It was the chant Tom Sawyer said after
he stuck his hand in the stump. He said, “the
dead cat chases the dead, and the warts chase
the cat.” Or maybe it’s the dead cat chases
the rat. Now I can’t remember again, shit...

RICK
What the hell are you talking about?

JACKI
I don’t know?

RICK
(absently)
My dad made me hunt stray rats once...

JACKI
(through her teeth)
I thought it was cats How can there
be such a thing as “stray rats?”
Never mind. Look. I’m going to go.

RICK
Goodbye Jacki. Hey, sorry about whatever
I’m supposed to be sorry for.

JACKI
But you’re not really sorry, are you?

RICK
(shrugging)
You shouldn’t have cheated on me.

JACKI
(furiously)
I cheated on a dead man, you crazy fuck.
Goddammit, it had nothing to do with you.

RICK
Same thing. And yes it did. Ever think about
why you didn’t tell anyone about it?

JACKI
I know I know, because it wouldn’t have done
any good. Hey, did you ever think about who else
he may have...any other projects he may have-

RICK
Not any more.

JACKI
Just thinking, you know? What about you?

RICK
What about me?

JACKI
Any obsessions? Any righteous causes? Pulling
flies from webs or cats out of dog’s mouths...

RICK
Well, there was one thing. There’s this
procedure we had at the hospital, and you
will also see this sticker on the door at
most retail stores, calling it “Code Adam.”
That’s also what you say over the loudspeaker
whenever a parent is missing a child. And the
parent is then asked what color shoes the child
was wearing. So every employee can watch so no
kids leave and they look for any child wearing
those color shoes-

JACKI
Wait, what’s so important about the shoes?

RICK
The theory is, an abductor might bring a
change of clothes, might even bring another
coat and hat, but the abductor wouldn’t
know what size shoes to bring.

JACKI
Okay, always remember the color of Toni’s
shoes. Gotcha. Anyway...

RICK
Here’s the problem, the “Code Adam” doesn’t
take into account the easy way to abduct a child.

JACKI
Which is how?

RICK
By spanking them. You spank the child you’re
abducting and then no one looks twice when the
child is crying. Or put a Halloween costume
on them. Kids wear those all year round.
(pause)
And, of course, take off the shoes.

JACKI
(moving away from him)
Sounds like a plan, Rick. I should be-

RICK
(nods toward her car)
Could I say goodbye to her?

JACKI
Okay.

Rick and his dog follow Jacki down the hall, and down some
stairs. Rick is unsteady on his feet, his left hand never far
from the back of the dog’s neck. Rick laughs.

RICK
You know, I tried to write it all down
once, but every time I typed the word “dog”
my fingers typed “god” instead. After the
hundredth time I finally ripped the damn
keyboard loose. Sometimes I still type
on it but I’ve never plugged it back in.

Then the dog crashes through some double doors and they’re
outside in the bright sunlight and walking to her car. At the
car Rick leans over as Toni rolls down her window. Toni
reaches out and the dog licks her hand.

RICK
He’s a good boy, ain’t he?

TONI
I get to have one when I can keep my fish alive.

RICK
They’re easier than fish actually, a fish can’t
sniff out it’s own food if you forget about it.

TONI
Where’s your truck?

RICK
Oh, I don’t drive those anymore.

TONI
I saw one last night. It’s so weird!
Lights were on in the back. It looked
like someone’s bedroom driving by.

RICK
Yes, that’s exactly what it is.

Jacki gets into the car and closes the door. She reaches
across Toni rolls up her window.

INT. RICK’S APARTMENT - MINUTES LATER

Rick’s dog leads him around the room. He seems to be looking
for something. Then Rick’s attention is drawn to a flash of
movement on the windowsill. He walks over to see that his
Venus Flytrap has caught something. He holds it up to the
light and sees the outline of a fly twitching inside. He
suddenly grabs the plant and rips it apart to set the fly
free. He drops the shredded leaves and pot to the floor and
closes his eyes when he realizes that he’s killed both the
plant and the fly in the process.

EXT. SUBURBAN SIDEWALK - DAYS LATER

Jacki is walking through a quiet neighborhood with a matchbook
and a photograph in her hand. She looks at the matchbook when
she comes to a certain mailbox to confirm that she’s at the
right house. She stares at the photograph.

INSERT - CLOSE UP - THE PHOTOGRAPH

It is the picture of a young dark-skinned girl similar to
Jacki, her mother and her daughter. The picture has an “X”
through it, like all the photographs in Rick’s apartment did.

BACK TO SCENE

Jacki takes a deep breath and stares at the front of the
house. A little girl is looking out from one of the windows,
the sound of laughter inside. She walks up to the door and
knocks hard and confident on the door. A second little girl
opens it. Jacki smiles and the little girl crosses her arms.

LITTLE GIRL
Hello?

JACKI
Hi. Is your mommy home?

LITTLE GIRL
Why?

JACKI
There’s something that I need to...

She trails off, smile slipping from her face. A woman is
coming down a hallway and Jacki can see a round pregnant
stomach protruding from under a Hard Rock Cafe T-shirt. Her
daughters run up to peek out from each of her legs.

WOMAN
Can I help you? Are you looking for Eric?

JACKI
No, I’m sorry. No. I’ve got the wrong house.

Jacki turns and walks away with the woman and her daughters.
She walks down to the end of the block, almost tripping over a
small dog chasing nothing. She turns a corner a stops at a
splintered tree lying on the ground in her path. A worker in
an orange helmet winks and fires up a massive wood chipper.
Jacki jumps at the noise then reaches into her pocket to pull
out some headphones. She puts them on and the 80’s song “You
Don’t Exist When You Don’t See Me” by The Sisters of Mercy is
playing even though the wires from the headphones dangles down
her arm connected to nothing. She walks through the exhaust
and debris behind the wood chipper. Smoke and dust and wood
blow out all around her and she doesn’t even blink.

FADE TO BLACK

SUPER:
“I saw this tree...there was this tree,
beautiful tree...they dug a hole and put
it in the sidewalk. Every day I come to
say hello. And this guy was backing up
his truck. The truck was making that beep
sound-beep-beep-beep-beep-right over the
tree, ‘cause, see, the tree can’t hear that."
- Eric Bogosian - “Sex Drugs Rock & Roll”

“The grass is always greener
where the dogs are shitting.”
- Soundgarden - “Outshined”

THE END

::: david - 1:29 PM [+] :::
...