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Thursday, January 12, 2006

"As the maples scream `oppression!' and the oaks just shake their heads..."
- "The Trees" (aka "Love Theme from 'The Two Towers'") - Rush


a couple observations:

-as the Pittsburgh Steelers continue to win, more and more of the dumbasses in this town are wearing the jerseys. i'm not talking about a few here and there, i'm talking about those fake cowboy silhouettes wearing them (which kind of ruins the whole spooky silhouette thing). when i think about these people wearing these jersey's on game day's i can't help but picture them all dressing up like astronauts for every shuttle launch, or dressing up like a fireman every time "Backdraft" is on. like i do.

-for some reason, i feel like i just got to this town yesterday. more on this later.

-anyone seen the commercial for the movie "Glory Road?" this is such a fucking joke. they act like it's some brave daring move to stock a basketball team with a bunch of black dudes. what a gamble! wow, that's really putting it all on the line. this coach was like, "if it means that i'm going to have to win every game, i don't care. i'm going to break this color barrier!" who the fuck do they think their kidding pretending this coach had anything like civil rights on his mind? fuck off with that noble revisionist history crap.

-i was watching "Saving Private Ryan" tonight and as the ratty little coward soldier crouched whimpering in the stairway while his buddy got slowly stabbed upstairs i was reminded of an interview that Spielburger gave to explain such an annoying character. apparently so many people were telling him how much they hated that character that he said, "well, i think people misunderstood that character's role. he was supposed to represent me actually, and how i, or any regular person, might react in a situation like that." hmmm. maybe i'd buy that as an excuse if Spielberg blatant heavy-handed manipulation was even more obvious on my surround-sound speaker system. see, i rewound three times just to make sure and i can report with confidence that Steven inserted creepy buzzing FLY noises 3 times when that character is on the screen. and no, he's not hanging around a corpse or the attic in Amityville Horror. he's just walking along, smiling all goofy and BZZZZZZZZ! random fly noise in the speaker. so clearly he's just some obvious coward one-dimensional poorly-written caricature who's only purpose is to make the unwashed masses sit forward and yell at the screen. unless i just hear imaginary flies everywhere. no, those are bees.

-to my surprise, "Mystic River" is NOT the sequel to the equally dramatic and suspense-filled "Mystic Pizza."

-if you run out of peanut butter, and you've already gotten out the jelly and the bread, you can just pour one of those vending machine bags of peanuts onto a big gob of jelly, slap the bread together and BOO-YAA! you have salvaged your midnight treat.

-the one constant around this joint.

-below is my script, "Spunkwater" i just revised. it was unreadable until recently, but as i am now newly single, this script pretty much represents that two year relationship. the good, the bad and the ugly.

-oh yeah, here's a little extra X-mas cheer for ya!

i stopped to take this picture today on my way to work. this pile of trees would like to thank all of you for allowing them to be a part of your pagan, sorry i mean christian celebration!

with all the duct-tape and rope and red ribbons and plastic bags it was kinda eerie, like a serial killer's dumpsite.

i leaned in real close and, besides the smell of pine needles and and scorched lightbulbs and gingerbread and children's laughter (yes, i can fucking smell children's laughter) i distinctly heard the trees whisper...

"thanks for letting us participate in your ceremony and for our relocation to the railroad tracks! we'll be fine right here in this mud puddle!"

::: david - 12:20 AM [+] :::
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