..:S...P...I...D...E...R...B...I...T...E...S:..

Sunday, August 13, 2006

"Essentially I'm an animal. So just what do I do with all the aggression?"
- Gnarls Barkley "Just A Thought"

-the problem with people who have a problem with rap music:

they always say "make your own music!" as if they've caught them (gasp!) stealing because they're using samples. what they don't understand is that, just like with white folk music, this was a form of music that emerged for one simple reason...anybody could do it! you didn't need to buy or learn an instrument, you just took the part of someone else's song that you thought was cool, found a way to make it repeat indefinitely, and then talked about your day or threatened people over top of it. this is a completely valid form of expression. however...

-the problem with rap music:

these days it's nothing but samples and no expression. the least interesting thing about this kind of music (with the exception of Outkast) should be the beat you're using, i mean stealing. and your lyrics should completely overshadow what you've stolen because you were in such a hurry for your words to be heard, you barely had time to check the label on that record, and you certainly didn't bother to learn how to program a keyboard. of course, with Outkast they've got both great, insane lyrics, and an equally insane production, but they're the one exception. the vast majority are who i'm talking about, and they are using the lyrics as filler or repetitive bullshit about bitches and money and, instead, only concentrating on making increasingly elaborate keyboard noises to imitate what used to be space-filling breakbeat samples. And it's hard to think of anything else that's a more massive waste of time and energy than immitating what was only there as a stepping stone to letting your voice be heard. there's probably only about three variations of any beat anyway, just like there's supposedly only two variations of any story (man goes on a journey, stranger comes to town) and that's where all the millions of dollars are going today instead of investing in the WORDS. so, if you put this much money into the production, maybe it IS time to buy or learn an instrument, just like the people that missed the point up there were saying all along.

-now, it's not exactly rap, but it's close enough, and i'm here to say that the Gnarls Barkley cd "St. Elsewhere" actually lives up to the hype. at least i think so. in spite of a berzerk production that sometimes overshadows the songs, i think it's great. and it's got those words i was talking about. the song "Just A Thought" is the best on there. haunting lyrics, schizo beat. vocals like a 70s Elton John falsetto, a bass line that i swear came from the song "Seasons in the Sun." good, good shit. and songs 13 and 14, both excellent. and even though you are, i'm STILL not sick of "Crazy." my one gripe, it's way too short to be a project that the Danger Mouse claims he's been working on for three years. AND i would have stripped the sound effects down even further on the rest of the album like they did on "Just a Thought" and "Crazy." 'cause that singer's got the pipes to carry the whole thing comfortably on his back. there's definitely a Marvin/Prince/Outkast thing going on there with him that i had no idea he was capable of when he was rapping back in Goodie Mob. but the best reason to own this cd? because it's actually got artwork on the cover instead of a photo!!! true story! this is getting very rare these days.

-i've been listening to Strapping Young Lad's "The New Black." sounds like the old black to me.

-someone around here must keep having birthdays, as they keep throwing away helium balloons outside this building, so i brought another one up to my apartment for my cats to play with. i figured it would be perfect since the strings hang down where they could chase them around the room, and it would be like someone who never got tired of bobbing strings in front of them nonstop. i had found the perfect toy to channel their midnight feline fury! however, the first balloon got sucked into my ceiling fan when i wasn't looking and the pandemonium that resulted caused my cats to swell up like hairy little puffer fish and slink under the couch. and they've still not recovered. now they consider these balloons the eqivalent of me bringing in running lawnmovers for them to play with.

now that i've blatantly attempted to establish my street credibility with banter about urban beats and the 70s AM radio staple "Season In The Sun," (if you tune in Wednesday night at midnight, i promise to play it sans irony) i am now able to post a favorite image to lighten up the depressingly serious funeral mood around this joint lately with all my rambling about cemetary visits.

this particular photograph of me is the only good to come out of my doomed James Dean's grave rubbing, get-rich-quick scheme road trip.

everyone that was in the car that day is still angry with me.

some more than others.

::: david - 3:05 PM [+] :::
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