..:S...P...I...D...E...R...B...I...T...E...S:..

Thursday, August 11, 2005

"What if half the things ever said turned out to be a lie?"
- Prince "The Truth"


first off, i'm on the air in an hour so go to the WYEP website. that's W Y E P dot O R G. request some songs and i'll play all that shit. i swear i will. do it dammit. it makes the time go faster.

so what's up with the cars lately with the loud mufflers? it's not that there's a big engine, it's just some bullshit where they got a hole in the exhaust and it's sounds loud so suddenly these assholes think they're the fast and the furious. it reminds me of little kids who put a card in the spokes of their tricycle to pretend it's a motorcycle. you sound like fools. stop it.

okay, since i got my songs ready early, here's a question to ponder while i kill this last hour. What irritates you more:

1.) people who get all excited to correct you when you're talking about an event after midnight and you say "night" and they're like "uhhh, actually, that's the morning" as they wipe the drip of snot from their nostril. does anyone really think it's morning until birds start chirping? of course not. but people jump on this technicality like they've spotted the yeti. or...

2.) people who exaggerate the importance of their mailbox by saying "it's a federal offense" to mess with it. i'm so sick of hearing that. not just because i was involved in some random mailbox destruction but because people seem to think they're in the FBI because they heard that "federal offense" phrase about the mail. as if their mailbox is going to have a circle of men in black suits with earpieces trying to figure out exactly how i climbed up the pole to shit inside AND put up the flag.

so which is it? which is more annoying? at work they voted that it's actually me (even though i wasn't offered as a choice) because i waited long and hard to be able to send an Elvis book back to it's publisher just so i could sing "return to vendor!" while i taped the box shut.

ever hear of the Red King Syndrome? based on a character from Alice in Wonderland. it's when they didn't dare wake up the king because they thought they were all part of his dream and they would cease to exist if he opened his eyes. it's also the name of a great graphic novel about the lame-sounding but incredibly thought-provoking "Miracleman." anyway, i keep thinking about that. how maybe no one exists until i look at them. at work i kept doing that to people. i'd turn around and say "look, Jamie just got here!" and tell him how he better entertain me quick before i turn around and he disappears again. he blinked slowly and shook his head, not really worried about the danger of me looking away from him. still not sure if this theory is true. obviously, there's no way to ever prove it. it's kind of like a reverse of a classic Sisters of Mercy song title, changing it too:

"You Don't Exist Unless I See You"

::: david - 7:30 PM [+] :::
...