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Wednesday, August 06, 2003

“Stealin’ when I should have been buyin’.”
-Uriah Heep

i keep hearing about Grokster and Napster and Kazaa in court for file-sharing and i’m thinking that i might have to pick a side. i’ve downloaded enough songs for 2 lifetimes (this is an exaggeration so the kids think i'm cool. more like 3 b-sides and one came through in pieces) and i realize that it’s time for me to take the stand against Grokster for their fucking ads. i know i’m not blowing the lid off anything here but i’m about ready to lose my mind over this new breed of pop-ups that simply refuse to be closed. first off, Grokster lies about what you download with their file-sharing program. you say “no” to everything at the beginning and it gets downloaded anyway. so you have to lift the hood and dig around in your engine to get that bullshit out without losing the stuff you want. then, the advertising it loads automatically everytime you log on now come with new improved defensive mechanisms like some crazy bug straight off the fucking Discovery channel.

remember the old fake-X-in-the-corner-ad? the one that suckered you into opening it by just making the “X” part of the graphic? well, that’s mutated into the double fake “X” ad that’s as confusing as the caterpillar with the giant fake eye spots over the eyes.

then there’s that moving ad that’s zipping and avoided your arrow like Corey Haim dodging his teammates at the end of the movie Lucas.

and of course there's the fake "you have 9 new messages!" window that tries to blend in with the rest of your e-mail setup.

then there’s there’s my favorite, the ad that covers the bottom of the screen (like the “My Way” search bar) that has no “X” and stops you from pulling up your task bar to get rid of it. that one leaves you no option except pulling the plug on your computer (a move that is very traumatic to your system, a violation of your machine that is the equivalent of sticking a finger up your dick) you either turn it off or you're stuck with that shit forever.

oh, and how about that one program that starts loading and i try to stop it and the message helpfully gives me these two choices: “this isn’t finished loading, you can finish loading now OR finish later.” then it goes on to happily announce (this is absolutely true) “Sorry! Once this program has started, until it is finished, there is little you can do to stop it!” WHAT?!? nice threat. well, after about a half hour i did find a way to stop that bitch but if i hadn’t? i would have thrown this computer in the creek rather than had to deal every day with a program i never asked for.

and when you're done with Grokster and close it out...that command generates one more ad for the road. every time.

so what the fuck are these people thinking? do they honestly think anyone will want a product that is imposed on them like that? it’s like the forced trailers on dvds now and the new onslaught of commercials in the theater. who thinks their product is going to sell if they pull this shit. this ain’t just the hard sell, it’s like a salesman putting his foot in the door, then pushing his way in to knock the glass out of your hand and change the station on your TV. or it’s like a phone solicitor saying “hold on, i’m just going to come over” then storming in and dropping their pants and proceeding to shit on your shit. does this ever work? am i wrong and are these tactics actually effective? you might think they are since it’s only getting worse. okay, i know it’s the price i pay but that doesn’t excuse such an obvious and ham-fisted attempts to distract or bully me into downloading their shit. now, i realize that i’m about 5 years late with this rant but i’m all about coming late to the party. speaking of, how about that crazy new “rap” music? or those tiny little silver records? crazy.

(midnight epilogue: remember the blogger ad banner i was talking about yesterday? how i was trying to steer it towards ads for something more interesting? well, my rant above has affected it. right now it's offering a link for anyone who wants to buy radio time. unbelievable. by complaining about ads i am now generating an ad FOR ads! this way lies madness...)

(epilogue 2: i unpacked my cds from the move and deleted the downloaded songs from my hard drive since i don't need them anymore. so fuck you music industry. i didn't steal shit. if anything you owe ME for time wasted)

okay, so i did some more exploring today after my job hunt. took a detour into a town called Carnegie and found a tiny ballpark up in the hills. Web Park it was called. there was a trail behind the diamond that led to a cliff that over looked a row of back yards. in the trees i could hear some kids but i couldn’t see them. i was glad i couldn’t see them and i’ll tell you why in a minute. i walked back to the diamond to maybe do some writing and the sights and smells of that park brought back too many memories. the mud and the dugouts and the candy wrappers and the small town advertising on the home-run fence. the smell of the mud and grass and i swear i could smell that chain-link fence.

it was all a little overwhelming. i guess i hadn’t been around a small-town baseball diamond in a long time. i don’t know.

so i found some shade and was finally settling in to write when i saw a row of spiderwebs on the bleachers. i couldn't stop staring at the webs and i got back up and walked through the infield. out there i only noticed one or two footprints, like the ones the Apollo astronauts left on the moon, and it triggered that flashback shit again. it was very powerful actually. and i think it's because i could hear those kids and not see them. i think that’s what may have fired up the time machine. out there on the field, besides some residue of lime for the baselines, this dirt seemed abandoned. around the pitcher's mound, the dirt had formed some waves and dunes from the last storm that had blown through and suddenly i was back in Millbury looking for things in the grass in left field, hoping for the game to end so i could check out whatever was shining next to the fence. i remembered those Little League games when i first drove into the park, but the longer i kept walking around, the more i started to imagine all those times after the games. i imagined that this park had been deserted. just like when i was little. i remembered all the times as a boy when i’d sneak back to the ball diamond at night.

my dad was the coach and my brother was the pitcher and my grandpa's construction business owned our team. our jersey's didn't say Wildcats or Chargers or Tigers. they said "Keaton Excavating." our park was only a half mile from our house and i dreaded going there during the day for the games. my heart just wasn't in it. but at night it was a different story. i’d sit there in the middle of the field, swatting fireflies and writing messages in the dirt, hoping some of my words would be left by the time next Thurday’s game rolled around. they’d have to play the game without ever knowing what i’d written under their feet. and at night i’d sit dead center in the middle of that ball diamond, right there on the pitcher’s mound, a spot i’d never dare to approach during a game, and i would imagine that i was the last boy on earth.

::: david - 9:31 PM [+] :::
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