..:S...P...I...D...E...R...B...I...T...E...S:..

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

"Away with this inverted world!"
-Nietzsche

i had a computer crash a coulple months back and i saved all my old emails on disc cause i'm crazy like that and i was just going through them and got a snicker at some of the classics. i was awake cause The Graduate is on so i thought i'd share...

i used to go to this dvd forum and get kicked off constantly. here's some of their moderators responding to my daily barrage of email after a couple suspensions.

the first one was cause someone started a topic called "what is it about a woman that turns you on?" and i responded "her wheelchair" and all those little fags started rallying to get me tossed. i get this bullshit email from this idiot calling himself "The Rock" and pretending to be some sort of internet enforcement figure (i can't find that first message though) to which i'm responding, then his rebuttal after:

---------- Original Message ----------------------------------
From: David J Keaton
Date: Wed, Jan 1 2000 09:21:18 -0500

>you nuts? you thought that was "insulting, inappropriate, derogatory, sick...etc". with "colorful language?" dude, people talk about fucking, and use the word "fuck" on this site all the time. and people were talking about wheelchairs. so what is the problem. do you think it's sick to have sex with someone in a wheelchair? you may not believe this, but i dated someone in a wheelchair (to blog readers: true story, freshman year at college, she was very cool actually -djk) for awhile and i wouldn't call the experience "sick", i actually just thought it was interesting, and something i won't forget anytime soon now, at least so i can bring that shit up at parties, and i'm not bringing that shit up now to say the equivalent of "some of my best friends are black", i'm just saying you're disgusted with something that i'm not.
and that's the real reason i'm getting kicked off. because you can't imagine fucking a girl in a wheelchair and i can. you act like i was insulting? inappropriate? this is "off topic and test" right? sure, i was messing with the smiley faces at first, but any one of you pussies could have got up, wiped the potato chips off your stomach, turned off Star Wars for half a second and gotten into an interesting discussion about the problems of a wheelchair in a relationship. it certainly would have been more interesting than the typical dull ass "did you see that Star Trek episode last night, or how about CNN. i find politics facinating because i think that the legislation is unconstitutional and.....zzzzzzz" every so often these threads get into places they don't normally go, but not that often. is that so bad? and who was i insulting? i mean, we can argue whether or not you thoughtit was funny, but i wasn't insulting anyone. seriously, think about this for a second:

what if i said, you ever hold hands with a girl who had a broken finger? wouldn't you have to be real careful? you ever kiss a girl who had a chipped tooth? could you feel it on your tongue? how about a broken leg? (note: not sure about my logic here, it was years ago sorry -djk) when you walk slower so she can keep up, do you find yourself noticing things around you that you never did? missing an eye? ever think she was sleeping when she wasn't and got scared when she sat up suddenly? because you were on the side without the eye? how about a broken spine? hold on, can't talk about that. not even in off-topic? even if it wasn't off-topic, i'd go that that movie! you're scared to talk about that shit?!? not me. how the hell can anyone not want to talk about something? i'll be up a while if you want to have this conversation. i expect a response.
-djk

The Rock aka "Humorless Wheelchair-Playa-Hater" responds:
---------------------------------------------------

Yes, people use colourful language all the time on our board, but that was, in my opinion, just the icing on the cake in an utterly inappropriate post.

Whether I, or others, find a disabled person--or having sex with a disabled person--disgusting was not the issue. (For the record, I don't.) Whether you agree or not, what you posted was not going to foster debate concerning the hardships of a relationship with a handicap person, as you posit, because it was phrased in such a way that would have only led to people being offended and, potentially, starting a flame war. Moreover, the post added nothing to the current discussion, but was seemingly a mere non sequitur that related to the thread in only the most vague of ways (i.e. wheelchairs had been brought up).

You could have said something along the lines of, "It is hard to understand the plight of a handicap person if you are not handicap. At one time, I dated a handicap woman and it was hard seeing her deal with common, everyday actions with varying degrees of difficulty. Even being intimate with her was a unique and sometimes trying experience. So, we shouldn't be so non chalant about this issue. Any thoughts?" (note: because that wouldn't be funny stupid -djk)

Then people could have shared their feelings and experiences (if they had any) in regards to having a relationship with a handicap person (be it a handicap that confines one to a wheelchair or otherwise). As I stated, however, the way you phrased it was offensive and would have only brought out the worst in people. It's not that you cannot talk about that sort of thing, just don't be harsh, rude, offensive, et cetera about the way you phrase it and, before posting, consider the manner with which you are speaking.

True, it IS the Off Topic Forum, but that doesn't mean it is the Anything Goes Forum.

Thanks,
Rock
DVDFile.com Administrator

------------------------------------------------


now here's my favorite. i like to troll the Star Wars forum and get those sad little freakshows in an uproar by pointing out what's wrong with their favorite movie and their lives. i don't have the original post that got me kicked off, but this is the administrator reponding to an onslaught of email i started sending him. my original posts were simply for his benefit. i noticed he'd stop dialogues and close threads that he didn't agree with (his opinions became clear after about 20 minutes of browsing the forum) and decided to push his buttons. he banned my account (first of several) so i made him my new pen pal. it took him awhile to crawl out into the light but he finally answered. my comments are highlighted:


--------------Original Message----------------------------
From: Taxi DVD File Forum Administrator
To: David Keaton spiderbites@juno.com


>Well, you wanted a response, here it is. you said in your email:

djk>you should say, due to "disagreements about Star Wars with me" you
djk>fucking child.

Nice way to start off. Actually, for me it was perfect, because it instantly validated what I already knew about you: that you are an immature fool who came to our forum only to cause trouble. "you fucking child" What kind of shit is that? Did you think you could intimidate me into reinstating you back on the forum? Contrary to your conclusion, I'm far from a child, and apparently have at least twice the IQ that you do. You were banned because you insulted forum members when they disagreed with you about Star Wars. There are others who post negative comments about SW, and they're still around, but you're something else entirely.

djk>you know as well as i do that you can't justify kicking me off.

I certainly can justify kicking you off. I'm an administrator of this forum. As such, I have a *responsibility* to the users of the forum to work to create an environment where they can feel safe about posting their opinions about various subjects. When pricks like you come in and constantly attack people who disagree with you, that doesn't make people want to post. Nobody likes to be attacked. If you could have argued people's points without insults, you'd still be on the forum.

djk>there's worse language in at least five other threads.

We have no rules against swearing, which I think is what you're referring to here. Again, you were banned for attacking other users. (note: actually i attacked him) Nothing more. No language issue, no opinion issues. It's so simple, it's amazing (and frustrating) that you don't get it.

djk>why do you insist on making my point for me, over and over again. how
djk>old are you? how did you get this job?

I'm old enough to know better to ask such a stupid question. But just so you'll leave it alone, I'm almost 36. I got this job because I was a long-time member, because I post on the forum more than most people, and am good at handling tough situations, like this one.

djk>did you make this decision? the last warning i had was with Rock over fucking girls in wheelchairs and
djk>we almost had a conversation about the problem. you have no sense of humor

I made the decision, but there was already talk about you in the admin forum. You'd butted heads with the Rock, and the general consensus of the Mods/Admins was that you were trouble. The post in the Star Wars forum (that I linked to before) put you over the edge. You say that you and the Rock talked about "the problem", yet you still attack SeanL and Saraswati in the Star Wars Forum (note: actually those two got the joke and emailed me later. in fact, a bunch of people emailed me and said they got the joke, there were no victims except this assmaster). You were showing a pattern of ignoring warnings, so I shut you down.

djk>i actually give Star Wars some serious thought, send it out, and rather
djk>than defend the movie, you kick me off to silence me. nice. now i have to switch names again genius.

Again, you being banned had nothing to do with your comments about Star Wars.

djk>or was this because of something else? if i can't go back ever again,
djk>after all this time, you owe me an explanation or i'll just keep emailing you.

Yes, it *is* about something else. It's about your repeated violations of forum rules...

Now on to your second, even more impressive email:

djk>taxi,
djk>i figured i'd have forgotten about you by now, but i'm still angry,
djk>sorry. miss me? how are ya?

Not as sorry as I am. I'll never get this hour of my life back.

djk>i love how you say "bye" all cocky at the end of your message like you're a
djk>fucking authority figure of some kind. as if you're not some little bitch who
djk>can't argue about a fucking movie because of a mountain of insecurities you must
djk>have. you realize that you have a problem don't you? you realize that
djk>being upset about a star wars conversation is fucking pathetic don't you?


There you go with the same old shit again. Making wrong assumptions. Yes, I was being cocky. You caught me at the end of a bad day. But hell, you deserved it. You were posting crap topics on the forum (Your "Fans must decide: Porn or Star Wars Figures" thread for example).

As for insecurities, anybody who says they don't have insecurities is lying. Mine, however, have nothing to do with anything I post on the forum, or about Star Wars. It is, after all, just a movie (note: "that i will defend until i choke on a happy-meal toy and die alone in my mother's basement..."). But again, you're arguing from the standpoint that I booted you for your feelings about a movie, when really, that had nothing to do with it.

djk>are you wearing a Star Wars Halloween costume right now?

This is the kind of insulting comments that got you banned, man. You just can't argue without attacking somebody, can you? *Who* has the insecurities?

djk>you understand that i must email you everyday for the rest of you're life because you pushed a button and
djk> INTERFERED WITH OTHER CONVERSATIONS I'M HAVING ON OTHER THREADS. BECAUSE I'M RIPPING ON STAR
djk> WARS?!? You crack me up dude.

Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you insulted others?

djk>that it doesn't mean you've done anything but make a fool out of
djk>yourself. you've done nothing but give me something to type while i shit

Really? I'm the fool? I don't see it. I wonder why? Oh, it's because you're rambling and making no sense. Again. I was doing my job.

djk>i was responding to another sarcastic comment from a twitchy little Star Wars
djk>fan, probably you (see you're digs are okay, you bitches have to stick together. never mind that even djk>his/your "positive" posts are djk>themselves always a lame passive-aggresive attack) and you jumped on your djkchance to keep the thread free of other opinions. hammer came down! i'm impressed douchebag.

If you'd take a second to read the thread, you'd see that I didn't even post in it until somebody posted something wrong about the opening crawls. *I actually supported your argument*, by pointing out that the opening credit crawls weren't there for the first release. You seem to have some chip on your shoulder that I had it out for you or something. Ever hear of the self fulfilling prophecy? The only opinions that I "jump on" are people's insulting opinions of forum members.

djk>but you know all this. meanwhile, i'm silenced on other threads where your
djk>crybaby pussy ass bullshit isn't a factor.

Again, you insult because you don't have a leg to stand on.

djk>you understand that only on a fucking computer, can someone push a button to hide
djk>and end a dialogue is such a gutless manner and get away with it.
djk>also, there is a serious problem on your forum when words and phrases and
djk>conversations are acceptable on one thread, but cause for dismissal on
djk>another. that just shows that the moderators aren't professionals,
djk>guided by their own personality problems.
djk>are you going to respond, or are you just hoping pushing that button made
djk>me go away forever?

I have a day job, and can't afford to waste the time it takes to properly reply to this kind of thing there. So now you have your response. Tell me, was it satisfying?

As for being professionals, I don't make a cent for working on the forum. Nobody does. We do it out of our love for the hobby of Home Theater and Movies. Yes, there are banners, but that money doesn't go to anybody on the forum. DVDFile.com gives us the server space to run the forum, and the banner money goes to Peter.

Anyway, if you can come up with a better argument than lame insults and unsupported assumptions, then go right ahead. I can't guarantee that I'm going to waste any more of my time with you, especially if you insist on arguing that....

(blah blah, he goes on a while and, worst of all, ends his message with a smiley)

-------------end of message------------

hmmm. it seemed funnier when it happened. he didn't print my best insults and i don't have the complete version of what i sent him. oh well. i went back under several names and got tossed every time. if any of you were on the DVDfile forum couple years back and some spaz named "Garthim Master" seemed a little to excited about pointing out plot inconsistencies in Phantom Menace...that was me. i was between jobs.

hey, these posts can't all be gold. tonight i was awake anyway. sleep tight. don't have any fucked up dreams like i did last night. whoa, that rhymes.

::: david - 2:10 AM [+] :::
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