spiderbites

what up. been gone a while. been a short summer. went to Jersey, hung out on the beach and read Lolita. jumped the shark to the left. bought a bubblegum machine Homie and took garden gnome like photos of him in the sand. ate the freshest ocean critters ever. then waited for two hours on a runway while i waited for Philadelphia airport to jump start my plane. i probably would have lost my mind if one of the mechanics on the runway didn't laugh and dance around and hold up a hose and spray water (fuel?!) over his head when he saw me staring out my little oval window. here's to him. also saw some movies, read some more books, bought some movies and music. i'll get some in-depth reviews out of the way first. some movies: Bug - good. Transformers - horseshit. Zodiac - dull. Pan's Labyrinth - No Hellboy. Babel - No Amores Perros. Children of Men - best of the three Mexicans. Spiderman 3 - no Darkman. Grindhouse - all good except Tarantino's "Death Talk" segment. he's done. Whiteboyz - hysterical wigger movie. don't believe the Rotten Tomatoes 0% rating. Miami Vice - dull as fuck. don't believe the "best shootout since 'Heat' hype." Chumscrubber - crap. lamest teen bully since Bully. or Butterfly Effect. surprised to find it's just an even pussier version of the weak "Alpha Dog."
The Shark Whisperer - yeah right. i wish.

some books:

High Fidelity - better music that the movie. Pieces for the Left Hand - good in spite of reading a bit like Reader's Digest "Life in These United States." Lolita - utterly. fucking. excellent. The Dolphin Reader - found it at a library sale, never leaves the radiator in front of the toilet. The Dark Side of Genius - great Hitchcock bio. Pictures at an Execution - not the laugh riot the title suggests.

some music:

Queens of the Stone Age - Era Vulgaris - excellent epic first song, clunky everything else.

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Baby 81 - excellent epic first song, sweet everything else.

Death Proof Soundtrack - as usual, better than the movie, i'd scratch off the movie quotes with a nail if i could. War - The World Is A Ghetto - great album cover, decent album. not what i thought it would be. Grinderman - Nick Cave plays guitar badly but i love it. Beastie Boys did this, too. Flaming Lips - Clouds Taste Metallic - grows on you as slow as your 9-year-old cock. Flaming Lips - Zaireeka - fascinating 4 disc experiment thing you're supposed to listen to in 4 cd players. fuck that. made a 1 disc version with the help of a friend. excellent last song about a dog in love with a rubber toy bug. White Stripes - Icky Thump - loud as shit. perfect first three songs. best lyrics in "300 Mile Per Hour Torrential Outpour Blues." i actually bought a little thumbdrive version that looks like Jack White because it was adorable and i needed a new thumbdrive. he can stand up on his tiny little foot nubs, but tragically looks more than a bit like a teeny Michael Jackson.
probably listented, rented, watched, read other stuff, too, but i can't remember right now. but, yeah, haven't done too much else. captioning a lot of reality-based programming, tired of complaining about reality-based programming but i will if anyone brings it up. got some more A minuses in grad school. another teacher disappointed me. rediscovered some old friends, lost track of some, met some new ones. realized i need an enemy to focus on. scratched random cat bellies while watching every episode of the horrible new show "John From Cincinnati" while i wait for "Dexter's" new season to start.

and i wrote a book. a new novel. calling it Spiderbites: A 73% True Story and it's sort of a false memoir, wish-fulfillment mess of flashbacks and rants. some of the funniest stuff i've ever knocked off, i think. i was inspired by reading the masterpiece Lolita this summer (a book that's way funnier than i ever would have thought) and i'll put up the first chapter on here tonight and see if anyone reads it. i have taken about 5 of my friends and combined them into one character, and i've taken myself and split me into 3 characters (how self-indulgent is that shit?) and i've strip mined this blog and my aborted first novel for parts. i'm using that title because i always meant to attach it to a larger work. it actually came from two places. a tattoo on my grandpa's arm that always impressed me as a child, and a terrible short story i wrote for the Jr. High newspaper (first rejection! but not the last!) it was about a spider that lays eggs in your feet when you step on it so that the babies burst out your mouth. hey, i had just seen "Alien," what are you gonna do? but this Spiderbites is a little better. it's 400ish pages instead of 3, and i'm extremely happy with it. maybe this one will go somewhere, unlike Roadsports & Rockfights. maybe not. if not, i already have another script idea to work on. i kind of like this script/book/script/book pattern i've fallen into. each one purges the worst habits from the other, and each one allows me to indulge in things i have to avoid. the scripts are a lot faster though. can't wait for the next one, my buddy cop movie "Calling All Eunuchs!" watch this space.

::: david - 1:10 AM [+] :::
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