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Thursday, March 23, 2006

"I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver. And since he's real busy, you'd have to run up to him fast to give it to him."
- Deep Thoughts


since i'm using all my energy to finish a short story and a new script, i'll post some random thoughts:

- you know you have some cds that you can't seem to ever get rid of because you think you might still listen to them someday? no? well, i do. and now i know exactly when to get rid of them. right down to the second. here's when:
it is time to stop listening to a band as soon as you hear their song in a commercial.

- last night i drove past my apartment after work. i forgot one turn so i just kept going. i ended up in some shithole called Freedom. i didn't want to make "Freedom!" my stop, although the highway signs that said "Turn Right for Freedom" were pretty funny, so i went two more towns. ended up in New Brighton. another shithole. i parked in what appeared to be the center of town and watched people walk around looking at glowing phones. not talking on them, just looking at them. that reminds me of something. i'll come back to that.

- you know why this generation of prescription drug abusers annoys me so much? i figured it out the other day when i was waiting in traffic. this is so true. ready? it's because they think they're a bunch of counter-culture 60s types, but you know what? i don't think anyone who was getting high in the 60s ever went to such pains to explain that they only have the vicoden or o.c.s or whatever because, like, they hurt their back or their leg falling off a ladder in a car wreck, like, a year ago, and their mom knows a guy who knows a guy who works at the drugstore and blah fucking blah. shut the fuck up. i say, if you want to crush that shit and put it up your nose, enough with the six hour explanation. what a pathetic new trend. more proof that these kids are a bunch of fucking pussies who don't even know what a vice is supposed to be. might as well be running around snorting Flintstone's chewable vitamins. fuck all of you.

- i was captioning a show about counting cards in Vegas and i realized that it's incredibly easy to do. when Rainman does it, we're supposed to be all impressed but all you need is a huge amount of money to take alot of losses early and you can eventually win.

- hey! want to see something funny? friend just sent me this. remember that clip of "The Shining" that was re-edited as a feel-good trailer? here's one for Jaws that's high-larious.

- it's hard to adjust to the every-two-week pay cycle after getting paid every week, or under the table, for the last 15 years.

- when you read about what the Aztecs believed or what the Incas believed, don't you think there was, at least, a couple of people back then that didn't believe it? just the way they always say, "and these people believed that the moon was a giant God nostril" always makes it sound like it was everyone, without exception. but there had to be someone back then that realized how stupid it was to worship the weather. right?

- oh yeah, people and their phones. here's an open letter to people that don't answer their phones...answer your fucking phone. i know at least five people like this. they sit there and open and check their phone every three seconds, but they always let their phone go to voicemail when it rings. see, i know you're thinking i'm a hypocrite but not only do i not answer my phone, i don't check it either. in fact, it's almost always under the couch so i don't even have to hear it ring. ask anyone who's been over here. but all these people are so fascinated by their phones you'd think they just invented them yesterday. if you have a phone on you that you're stroking all day, why can't you answer it? especially when i call. do you think i'm going to keep you on the phone or something? trust me, i'm calling for a reason. i'm not going to tell you knock-knock jokes. if i know you have a cell phone and i call and you don't answer it, i'm instantly insulted. it's not like you're not fucking home. oh, that's right. the kids are text-messaging these days instead. sorry, i forgot. next time i'll text-message instead 'cause i love to drive off a cliff at Mach 2 while i try to do it. text-messaging. just another passive-aggressive invention.

- a friend of mine was reading "Nickel and Dimed," which i liked, but it made me want to read "Rivethead" again. it's real good. especially the stuff about the guy in the cat suit wandering through the factory promoting safety and how traumatic that would be to see.

- is it just me, or is "The Sopranos" getting a little...abstract? too many dream sequences, not enough of Tony choking Christopher.

- a while back i moved across the hall to a bigger apartment. but before i did, i would go over to this bigger apartment when it was empty and i would just hang out and look out the window and lay on the floor. i just liked pretending it was mine or something. not because it was bigger but because it was empty. now she's gone and it's just me over there (here) and it's kind of empty and it gets depressing sometimes but you know what? it's not empty enough. luckily, the smaller apartment that i moved OUT of is now empty again. how about that shit? so i can go back across the hall and sit over there. at least until someone moves in or they lock the door. wierd ain't it? it's like coming full circle or the snake eating its tail or...or maybe, for some reason, it's just comforting for me to pretend that i'm sitting on the floor in an abandoned building.

::: david - 12:50 PM [+] :::
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