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Saturday, February 04, 2006

"Remove the patient from the tumor."
- Aeon Flux


-i have two stories about confrontations at the post office. i may wait until i have three to tell or i may just post them next. i’m going to buy some 1 cent stamps today so who knows what violence may erupt. if nothing happens i’ll just tell the two stories when i get back. wish me luck!

-sorry Brett, i looked around for my old Stratego game because i wanted to take a picture of the inside of the lid where i used to write down where Genie’s flag was hidden and hold it up behind his head whenever the two of you played but alas i must have lost the pieces to the original one and bought another since there wasn’t anything written on the inside of the box. or maybe i’m remembering things wrong. i swear i used to help someone cheat when they played that.

-the library vs. the videostore:

when i go to the videostore i take a looong time to carefully choose what i’m going to watch. for example, after wandering around for about an hour, doing about 25 laps around the new releases with my $2.14 jangling in my hand, i finally chose “Suspect Zero” for more reasons that i could list right now. however, after quickly parking and not putting a quarter in the meter, i ran in to the library and grabbed “Ladder 49” (“we fight fires in slow motion! it’s what we do!”), “Hildago” “Bio-dome,” “About a Boy” and “Goodburger” in zero point two seconds. just kidding with “Goodburger,” that was just an attempt to steer your attention away from me actually getting “Bio-Dome.” i think my point is something to do with “shit being free!”

-i’m watching “The Village” while i eat and despite it’s Twilight Zone (and a children’s book) rip-off twist, i’m almost ready to give it credit for a couple subtleties. i can’t be sure if these things were done on purpose since, despite some skill (the weighlifting scene in “Unbreakable”), M. Night Shamalamadingdong has shown that he can lose his way (the lame-ass fight in “Unbreakable”) or suck as bad as the worst of them (the final shot of “Unbreakable”). here’s what i think is well done, if it was done on purpose:

1.) the fact that the color of blood is “the bad color” so that maybe kids will subconsciously resist the urge to stab each other.

2.) sending a blind girl into the woods makes a little sense if they hope she can get medicine and not see the “real world” so that she comes back and doesn’t give up the secret.

3.) the suggestion that a closed off village would become a genetic problem eventually resulting in birth defects such as blindness, William Hurt talking like Yoda, red hair, Joaquin Phoenix’s cleft palate, and retarded murderous pianists. but other than those three reasons it’s terrible. so why do i own it if i hate it? hey, it’s complicated.

okay, here’s a good example, right now William Hurt is leading the blind girl to touch the monster costume to show that there are no monsters and she's like “where am i going dad?” and he says, “i cannot say with words, it’s just a few more steps...”

now, call me crazy but couldn’t he save some horrified reactions from his blind daughter stumbling around in the “shed we do not speak of!” until she bangs her head on a dead pig skull and bear-claws by simply saying the words, “it’s a monster costume?” he can't just say that shit? there are “no words” for “monster costume” in their village? fucking dumb.

-my friend mark is right, these younguns have no knowledge of the history of genre movies. or any movies for that matter. even stuff that's not that old. i went to Circuit City and asked if they had "Trainspotting" and the waterhead said "Is that a TV show?" so i bought the Aeon Flux collection instead.

-on my last day at my old job i used their label maker to make a sticker that says “Now Playing” so that i can stick it on one of my speakers by my TV and then put the box for whatever movie i’m currently watching above it. who’s the dork? but yes it's true, i have surgically removed myself from retail! it would have been funnier if i did this on my last day, but actually i did this during Christmas...

::: david - 10:55 AM [+] :::
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