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Saturday, September 25, 2004

“Fool me once when a bird in the hand is worth two if you count them before they hatch.”
- George W. Bush


this is the funniest thing i’ve seen on the Onion in a long time. funny because it’s so true. and funny because calling “shotgun” is no joke.

okay, here’s what’s wrong with those yellow ribbon magnets that are all over the cars these days:

1.) it’s not wrapped around anything. it’s a picture of a ribbon made into a magnet. that’s like wearing a baseball jersey that has a picture of your baseball cap drawn on your chest. the whole point of a ribbon is to wrap it around something.

2.) it’s a magnet, so there’s no commitment like, say, a bumper sticker. no goo to scrape off years later so you don’t really mean it.

3.) and finally, the most important thing of all. . .you are NOT saying that you “support the troops.” you are saying that you support the WAR. big difference you gutless fuck. have the balls to say what you mean instead of hiding behind a statement that’s tailor-made to silence anyone who opposes the actual conflict. why are you people so fucking stupid. who the fuck do you thinking you’re fooling?

and p.s. the God Bless America ribbon-magnet is, of course, idiotic considering the religious mania that comes with the terrorists (and our homegrown dipshits). so if you have that on your car you’re either saying “God likes US, not you.” or, even more hilarious, “MY God is better than YOUR God.”

walking meat, dude. i swear, that’s what i see out my window. a world made up of blissfully ignorant walking slabs of meat. if i close my eyes it’s as if they are bumping into everything, shitting and drooling on anything they touch

question: why do the same people who insisted that the image of the Trade Center be removed from all movies and photos, find nothing wrong with buy a commemorative coin that shows the building that’s made from Ground Zero materials??? that’s like getting some shoes made of skin on your Auschwitz tour.

something i just remembered. a while back my friend Blue (yes “Blue”) was making fun of my music collection and he commented that i “had no filter, and just bought everything.” i just wanted him to know that i have all three Filter cds now, including their latest “Amalgamutt” so i don’t know what you were talking about.

oh yeah, Steve, if you’re out there, i lost my Fisher Space Pen and i’m in mourning. send me another one in case i go into space and then desperately need to doodle on something above my head.

::: david - 6:57 PM [+] :::
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