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Sunday, January 18, 2004

“Shake it like a Polaroid picture.”
- Outkast - Hey Ya!

“It’s all true: Oz is over the rainbow, God is an astronaut, and Midian is where the monsters go...”
- Nightbreed (spoken by the Rastafarian-looking creature that kept yapping about “meat for the beast!”)


notice how fast i throw up a post after a story since i know my fiction is like kryptonite to my readers. here’s a picture from the bar/crawl Christmas Caroling session. i’m the poltergeist in the background, the ghost of someone who died in that bar last Christmas. normally i haunt the end of the bar, arm wrapped around a drink like a prison lunch, but here i’m hovering over the revelers all happy ‘n shit. not sure what bar that was. that night we hit seven total:

Piper’s Pub
Zythos
Smokin’ Joe’s
Casey’s Draft (aka The Shire)
Mario’s
Jack’s
and finally some place called Bar 11?

a bit disappointed that the last one wasn’t actually the eleventh bar of the evening but what can you do.

somebody was saying (or maybe i was reading) about the Outkast song “Hey Ya!” causing a normally sour-faced thug in some bar to smile and hug strangers. apparently Andre 3000 aka Billy Ocean brings everyone together. i agree that his picture on that cd (the pose with the pink gun) is much more interesting than the other dude doing the pimp act. his music too. more Prince than Prince lately. hey, anyone remember the end of “Major League” though? when the spike-haired punk hugged the construction worker, looked horrified, then hugged him again? funny shit.

speaking of music, the Darling Nikki remake? and that Baker Street remake? and that Behind Blue Eyes remake? and that Drift Away remake? new rule:

no one is allowed to remake songs that i’ve always liked. so stop doing it. and what about Audioslave using all the good scenes from “Vanishing Point” for that highway song? something really wrong with that. not just when he says “This radio station is named “Audioslave” instead of “Kowalski” but because they ruin a movie by showing too much just to make their song sound good. makes me angry. that movie is on my DVD wish-list with “Wild At Heart” and “Lost Highway (aka “Plot Be Damned”). “Naked Lunch” was up at the top until it finally got crossed off this year.

special award to “J” for infecting my vocabulary with his phrase “smash that shit” which roughly translates as: “do not give it too much thought, my brother. just fuck her.”

this has since morphed into the likes of “smash that shit with impunity,” “no i didn’t see that red light officer, i had shit to smash” and “like Shakespeare once said, “smash that shit, good sir, lest another man smash it instead...”

and why i’m thinking about it, let me defend myself because i guess i’ve been giving the impression on Fishfry’s website and other places that i’m this surly relationship-hater. not true, i’m for all for all kinds of relationships, i just don’t want to read about them. or at least the happy ones. because it’s kind of like watching cars driving instead of crashing or a clock running smoothly instead of going through the window. it’s just not as interesting. and when someone starts talking about that on their site and all that it just reminds me of what comedian Bill Hicks said about “the miracle of birth” he was saying how everyone always says “it’s a miracle” and he would go into this rant where he crouched over the stage and acted like he was some trailer-court idiot squeezing out offspring like someone taking a shit and saying stuff like, “there you go! another miracle! we’ll call this miracle, son of forklift driver....”

and he’s got a point (i mean, he had a point, he’s dead now). seriously, fingernails are a fucking miracle if you think about it. and how about the way our eyeballs work? that whole “green to me is green to you” mind-scrambler is much harder to understand than birth, love and relationships. i mean, c’mon. you all over someone guy or girl at a party because of the position of their mouth in relation to the position of their eyes and the large breasts that can suckle your potential offspring and the large genitals that are more likely to impregnate? hey, i’m all for it too, and i’m just as much a victim to the ole “survival of the fittest” mentality, i just recognize how ridiculous that shit is when people talk about it in spacey emotional terms. you can pretend you want a soul mate but your migrating towards strength and beauty every time. but i swear i’d take a dark sense of humor over a perfect body any day.

that’s where Fishfry had a good point, when she said that someone that’s physically perfect can be the “no spark” thing. and she’s right of course. it can also be referred to a “meat for the beast” (spoken in creepy Hellraiser voice). i hadn’t thought of it that way when i was ranting about someone using the “no spark” excuse when they really want to say, “funny looking” or “ears all fucked up.”

that reminds me, speaking of babies (to show that i’m still the hypocrite i’ve always been, the exception will always be anyone i know personally): congrats to my friend Dan and his new daughter who gave her a perfect three letter name that is also a palindrome.

back to speaking of relationships for a second, then i’m done. i think that internet ones might last the same length of time as ones out in the real world. is it just me, or do people get less interested and drift away from regular websites right around the six month mark? sure, they get replaced with new bright-eyed visitors, but maybe that’s a set length of time for anyone to invest in another human and learn all they care too? just a thought. i try not to do it, but i wonder sometimes. i’ve only been on here for about six months so, if i’m still around, i’ll see if it cycles through like that again. right at the six-month mark every time, people start to fade away. freaky deaky.

letters from my stepbrother in Iraq. troubling, interesting and a relief. all wrapped up in one package.

a train is going by with boxcars stacked on the boxcars. it looks like two trains got stuck together. like they were magnets. hopefully the day will come where there’s three boxcars stacked up like that.

i want to work on a train. that would be like being paid to be in a car, without having to worry about driving. all the momentum, none of the responsibility.

::: david - 5:31 PM [+] :::
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