..:S...P...I...D...E...R...B...I...T...E...S:..

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

"'Right on the nose,' he said.
Then came the weird part. . ."
-The Chocolate War


finally found a good radio station in Pittsburgh. when i first drove into the area and my old stations were all going going gone and i was surfing around the dial i finally settled on about ten stations that seemed to be playing decent songs. well, it must have just been a good day, or a substitute DJ, because all week i've been hearing things like Creed and Staind and Steed and that awful Effingvescence or whatever the hell it is and i slowly ended up deleting every single one of those stations. today though, on my lunch out mailing some letters, i happened across a station that busted out Alice in Chains "I Stay Away," some "Angel Dust" era Faith No More, Perfect Circle and the Deftones aka the Tonedefs! good shit. i drove around with the windows down and forgot to go find some food.

so "Top Gun" was just on last night. question: anyone remember the part where the bald dude from "Back To The Future" at the beginning of the movie is chewing their asses out and he says to Cruise, "your name ain't the best in the Navy, you got to be doing it better than the other guys!" and Cruise gets all pouty and stomps off? well, since i don't remember hearing Cruise's character's real name for the entire duration of the flick, and i DO hear his call sign, "Maverick," about 50 + times, i think that the "Back To The Future" principal dude ("check your iron Tannen!") was saying that his nickname "Maverick" was the problem. his cute "call sign" or whatever is what "ain't the best in the Navy" and THAT'S why he's got a chip on his shoulder. it makes so much more sense that way. i mean, all through high school i was thinking that line had something to do with his dad, that his last name was the problem but i was way off! it's his stupid-ass nickname that makes him fly like a madman and try to bite Val Kilmer's nose in the locker room. Iceman? cool name. cool as a friggin' cucumber. remember him always playing with his wrist-watch like a fucking magician? but Maverick? or "Mav???" sooo lame. and he knows it. notice the way he has to click that pen ten times to get it to retract when he's talking to Goose about his second "fly-by." only someone unhappy with their nickname would have such a problem manipulating a ball-point pen. and every time he was "buzzing the tower" i think the poor bastard was trying to commit suicide. i'm right on this. trust me.

i have a fucking headache that would make a grown man weep. i am dangerously close to hammering a nail into my skull to let the voices out.

plus, i don't know if i've been writing about nosebleeds too much or what, because i seem to have conjured one up last night.

so i went to buy a black denim jacket today, a seemingly simple task. my cats shredded my last one and i didn't bother packing it for the move so i thought, hey! i'm driving by the mall, i'll be a consumer! i'll consume! but no one had black ones. just every possible shade of blue. and i didn't want blue because then, if i wore blue jeans at the same time, i would look like i was wearing pajamas. and why do we continue to wear blue jeans? how silly is that? we're wearing pants with rivets on them because people used to fill pockets with rocks in coal mines or something and now it's the most common thing on anyone's body. everyone is running around with rivets on their clothing. think about that. why didn't mining helmets catch on like that? make about as much sense. at least that light bulb on those helmets would serve a purpose, unlike these pointless rivets on my jeans. or the ones on my sweeeet new black denim jacket! you know what's even harder than trying to find a black one? try finding one without giant letters advertising some bullshit across the back. same with a hooded sweatshirt. it took 3 hours for me to find a grey hooded sweatshirt that did NOT have punk-ass "Tommy Will Finger" or whatever glued on it. if i'm going to fucking advertize for them then their shit better be free. just like tv. commercials make shit free. all these fucking idiots with 3 to 5 brand names all over their bodies at any given time? to me, they look like they're sporting "kick me" signs and they don't know it.

books i picked up after work:

new Stephen Hunter novel called "Havana," i know it won't be as good as "Dirty White Boys" because that's as good as he ever got. but i still keep trying. "Dirty White Boys" will always have a place in my heart because the first page of this book has one of my 5 favorite opening lines of all time.

also grabbed "Fortress of Solitude" by the guy who wrote "Motherless Brooklyn." supposed to be good, although i doubt anything can live up to the hype on that sleeve. "Motherless Brooklyn" was the best thing i read last year and that saying a lot because i read enough books to feed several third world countries. uh, if they ate books. never mind. someone read "Motherless Brooklyn" and you'll see. it's about a man with Tourette's Syndrome trying to solve a crime while his brain and his mouth destroy and reconstuct the English language at every turn. some of the funniest lines i've ever read. a feel-good book for obsessive-compulsives everywhere. anyone who has suppressed the urge to tap every penguin at the zoo three times, or count the number of cliche's spoken in every movie trailer ("we got unfinished business!" "i'm doing my job!" "Just like that?" "Just like that.") or just reach out and slowly push the person behind you in line at the grocery store another foot away from you...then this is the book for you.

::: david - 10:10 PM [+] :::
...