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Sunday, August 24, 2003

"She told me herself that she had no morality-and I thought she had, like myself, a more severe morality than anybody."
-Nietzsche


THE INTERVIEW GAME

The Rules:
1. Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3. You'll update your website with my five questions, and your five answers.
4. You'll include this explanation.
5. You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.


From FridayNightFishfryForeverandeverandeverandeverandeverandeverand....

her questions:

1) Do you have any recurring dreams? if yes, please describe and what you think they mean.
2) How did you feel about your childhood stuffed animals, and what happened to them?
3) If people are infinitely more interesting on their own, does that mean you are willing to become less interesting someday?
4) Have you ever dated a girl who didn't call you "weird"? If so, how did this affect the relationship?
5) What is it about car chases, anyway?


my answers:

1.) this is going to sound all dramatic but I dream of dying all the time. My heart stops, my breathing stops. The main recurring dream i'd get was when I thought I’d wake up and I couldn’t move. I did some research on that waking-up-paralized or “night terrors” thing for a couple years back and i used to set two alarm clocks because it usually happened when I woke up fine the first time, then fell back asleep and dreamed i woke up again, frozen on the bed. in my "dream" I could open my eyes but not move and I’d be straining to move an arm and then, several times I’d see someone walk into the room towards me very fast and then I’d finally wake up. It freaked me out kinda bad for awhile but I haven’t had one in a couple years. Always when I’m living on my own.

2.) it’s funny you asked this because I wrote about 30 pages once about some obscene uses for stuffed animals. okay let’s see, as I kid I had a Curious George (and the books) and a ratty teddy bear that I would walk around with over my shoulder. I would walk around shirtless (I remember this vividly) and let the teddy bear pat me in the back while I wandered the house sucking my thumb. I remember that it felt good bouncing off my back. I wrote about it (sort of) in my book “Sport” but instead the kid lays on his stomache in front of the TV with a baseball rolling around the small of his back. in the book the kid imagines the baseball is someone’s hand showing affection, but the teddy bear slapping my back just felt like an animal trying to gently crawl over me. the teddy bear, I don’t know what happended to it. Curious George is in a box in my mom’s basement with most of my books. no wait, I think I gave him to someone. hold on. I’m making a phone call…yep, my sister has him. right now though I do have one! last year I saw a stuffed rabbit in the street, in heavy traffic all covered in tired tracks and I went back and rescued it. it turned out it was a stuffed rabbit....with rabbit feet! I kept it in my trunk for a while, intending to wash it at some point but friends said that would make me look like a psycho if I ever got pulled over. that combined with the dog pile of bones I’d found under a house while doing some electrical work really looked suspicious in the trunk. the bones were just pig and chicken bones but I got all excited whn I dug them up. both together in my trunk though? creepy huh? cop pulls me over, “can I search your trunk sir?” “uhhhhh.” “what the…STEP AWAY FROM THE CAR! actually I was hoping I got pulled over so I could tell all this to a cop one day. my friend Rachel actually took some pictures of both the stuffed rabbit and the bones together. she wouldn't touch it because it looked so dirty she thought it was full of spiders. can you imagine that? stuffed rabbit full of spiders??? what an image. too good to be true. anyway, check it out, we called it the Cave Bunny photo session.

3.) hmm. well, when I said (say) that, and I say it a lot, I guess I’m saying they’re more interesting “to me.” couples are probably perfectly interesting to each other with their couple bullshit, but I believe the rest of the world cuts them loose. is there anything more tiresome than a couple's public display of affection? at some point I will probably be a half of the couple thing again, but I know I’ll be the same individual because I swear I don’t change in relationships like everyone else but most of all because (and this is something else I say a lot) when I make a big sweeping statement like that: whatever i say...it never applies to me! another example: I hate people who instantly have fierce opinions with little or no information. hello!

4.) I guess about half of the girls I dated busted out the “you’re weird!” at some point or another. back in high school it didn’t bother me that much, I thought it was a compliment, and after i heard it i'd try hard to be even weirder, but in college (the first 7 years) I started to realize that the people who said it didn’t think I was fascinating or anything, they just didn’t know what the hell I was talking about. I slowly got more and more irritated every time I heard it and i started hearing them admitting “I’m stupid!” instead. they always say it after something I say, never something I do. (except for the stuffed rabbit rescue) it’s apparently vocalizing my thoughts that got that response so much. but I’ve only been dwelling on it so much lately because, like a dunce, I recently dated several girls that were too young and when they stopped bouncing off the walls to listen for a second, they didn’t know what the hell to make of me. I’ve made a bit of an effort to be more extreme with my opinions on this blog because of the freedom and anonymity it allows you, but I actually CAN interact with humans, as much as I hate to admit it. I’ve had about 5 long relationships that were with similar creatures that never once said "you’re weird.” one in particular appreciated a pitch black sense of humor and understood that arguing opinions should be fun and not miserable and I’d probably still be with her if he’d hadn’t turned out to be such a jealous freak. she was convinced I cheated on her but I never did. in fact, the only lie I told her was when I wanted to take her to see a movie opening day and I swore I’d wait and go with her that night, but then I got restless and sneaked off and went with a friend early in the day while she was at work, convinced the movie would be SO good that I wouldn’t mind seeing it twice. well, it turned out the movie sucked and I had to take her to it that night and not only sit through that shit movie again, I had to pretend like I had never seen it. a couple times I was tempted to act like I was psychic and say some dialogue right before they said it onscreen to freak her out, but mostly I just felt VERY guilty for what I was doing. I acted disappointed with the movie all over again, trying to remember at what point during the flick I started sighing that morning when i hated it, so that I could do it just right the second time around. and I was thinking the whole time, “damn, I’ll have to cover this lie for as long as I know this girl” I even called the guy I'd sneaked off to the flick with and said, “sorry dude but I might have to bury you in the woods to cover my ass” seriously though, I never told her about that and I know it’s goofy but I still feel kind of bad to this day.

5.) the car chase. I could write ten books on My Love For The Car Chase (scroll down to the 5/21 post, under the fly-leashing story), I’ll try not to do that here though. there’s just something pure about it in films. the characters can’t talk during a chase (at least they shouldn’t) and that and a fist fight are maybe the only two things I think a movie can do better than a book. it doesn’t have to be a fast chase either. some of my all time favorite chases (like "Wages of Fear," "Way of the Gun" and "Sorceror") involved vehicles moving no faster than a man. to quote Ballard in "Crash" when he's watching crash test dummies contorting in slow-motion, "i can't explain it, there's just something very satisfying about it". and the car chase + my apocalypse movie fetish = the desert chase! (Mad Max will never be equalled) a long desert chase in a movie is my idea of pure fucking bliss. i'll try to find a flashback that fits: In high school I got in trouble for skipping school (almost got taken to court over lack of days attended, I didn’t know they could do that either) but when cornered I found it hard to explain that I’d get up on time, drive to the school…and just keep going. My mission was to find out where all the roads ended out in Millbury. I drove for hours, listening to crappy music and I loved it. sometimes I’d talk into this little tape recorder about who I wanted to fuck or who’s ass I wanted to kick (good thing I didn’t get the two confused!) but I barely remember those people at all. I do remember Lemoyne Road and Woodville Road and Curtice Road and Latcha Road and Wales Road and Coy Road and Brown Road and Pickle Road and Bradner Road and Pemberville Road. those were the long roads, the ones I liked best. but I wasn’t chasing anyone so what’s the connection? well, maybe I was.

::: david - 2:55 AM [+] :::
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