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Sunday, May 18, 2003

"Born with lead in my foot and a steering wheel in my hand..."
-Mad Max

talking with my friend steve, who saw Matrix first and he warned me about some things. steve said, "Zion looked like the muppet celebration in "Return of the Jedi". And what's the deal with these guys only freeing the minds of black people? Holy Shit, us white males are in serious jeopardy." he also made a great point about the "matrix" itself. he asked, "why doesn't the computer go all funhouse mirror on Neo and rain fire and smack him in the head with the fucking moon when he's inside?" and he said, "if Neo can bring people back to life, why don't the rest of the crew punch him in the face for letting anyone die?"
good points all.

but he said the action made it worth the time, and that he read a review where the critic states that the car chase instantly became the best chase shown on film. i don't agree and i'll get to why later.

so i finally saw it and i told him that i agreed with all his problems with The new Matrix (no shit about how the computer should go bugfuck on Neo and make the world nuts. they should be like, "Ted sighted, sector 12, all buildings are now dinosaurs and it's raining pianos!") and there was a lot more stuff to get angry about.

yep the sweaty Cave Rave was real stupid. looked like a goddamn Britney Spears video. and you know why everyone is black or mixed in that movie? because the filmmakers think black people are cooler than white people. or they think kids think black people are cooler than white people. it's as simple as that.

and did anyone see a preview for a movie called "Equilibrium" before the movie? that movie came out on video about a week ago, and in my opinion, is better than Matrix Redux. it doesn't have the size of Matix (much smaller budget) and its plot is a blatant Fahrenheit 451 rip-off, and when it's not ripping off that, it's stealing from 1984. but the gunfights are fucking SWEET. and the killing and fighting is better than all the fights in the new Matrix. try to find it. it's got American Psycho as a guy who's trained to kill "sense criminals" who don't suppress their emotions. i know i know. but i'll take Equilibrium's silly plot over Matrix's dull fantasy speak any day. the first Matrix movie was a masterpiece of writing compared to the new one. all that "chosen one" Star Wars talk mixed with nonsense Star Trek computer gibberish (except when one dude pointed to some computer effect and said something like, "see that over there, it recycles water, and i have no idea how it works. guess what? neither do the fucking filmmakers. most telling moment in the movie) these character should just NOT be allowed to speak. at least Ted seems to still realize that.

Equilibrium. i'm telling you. more guns. more violence, a story with some feeling and hey! a clear-cut reachable goal! Matrix was going nowhere. who the fuck were those mafia guys? renegade programs? i don't think the writers even knew until the day they started filming. so why did they need keys again? to access those white hallways that were introduced in the same scene that tell us they need the keys?! what shitty fucking writing. and it looked like it was edited by a bunch of chimps. movie all jumping around, with you having to guess who was in the Matrix and why by the clothes they were wearing. the first movie was better in every way, except two scenes and i'll get to them in a second. and don't get me started on those stupid Wingnut, Dozer and Lugwrench names. and hey, was it just me or did it seem like Matrix 2 was a PG movie? tame as hell compared to the first movie where Ted was shooting innocent people through their newspapers.

okay, so that Ted-fights-100-Agent-Smiths was cool. At least, until they turned into video game cartoon people (and i kept thinking "uh, fly away asshole") but you know what? that fight meant nothing. just like all the fights. they honestly meant NOTHING. in the first one he kept getting better until became invincible. in this, he's back to having trouble fighting that cookie making fucks Katoesque bodyguard (and he was a program right? Ted should be able to punch him and make him turn into computer code right?) couldn't Ted fight one-handed while eating a sandwich at the end of the first movie? has he not been practicing? and why all those the plastic-looking computer Teds in that brawl? it took me right out of that fight. how can fillmmaker honestly believe that CGI effects are ever a good idea? like steve said, the sad thing is that we will still buy this shit when it comes out on DVD.

The car chase. the car chase next time because it's very emotional for me.

p.s. did you see the stuff at the end of the credits? scenes from Matrix Revolutions? final one-on-one fight with Smith on a bridge or something. i think he's the best character in the entire mess. maybe i just like when he says, "Mr. Anderson!"

::: david - 2:22 PM [+] :::
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